Y4H: Ask how you get to be on the Special Theft Division (1)
From Create Your Own Story
Doc: Okay, Joe, tell us more about the Special Theft Divisions.
Joe: Well, we're a special kind of unit. International antiques, art treasures, or porn like in my case...
Doc: And these are where the good agents get sent?
Joe: Yes, sir! The FBI is very proud of its STD's.
Doc: And it's your first real assignment in the FBI?
Joe: Yes, sir.
Doc: Now, Joe, I need you to be honest with me. Was there anything happened in your career right before you got moved to this Special Theft (Porn) Undercover Investigation Divison thing you're telling us about?
Joe: I don't know what you mean.
Doc snatches up a blank sheet of paper, crinkles his brow as if studying it, glares daggers at Agent Fozdyke and asks it again.
Doc: Was there anything that happened in your career right before you got moved to the S! T! D!?
Joe: All right! All right! Maybe there was a tiny little disciplinary hearing, really funny stuff, out of proportion...
Doc: And what was that for?
Joe: Well it's been a while since it happened, lots of other work since then, but I think, if I remember, it was something like, maybe something like (mumble mumble mumble).
Doc: Could you speak up a little bit?
Joe: Okay, making porn on a government computer! But it was just cartoon porn!
Doc: What kinda cartoon porn?
Joe: Just funny martial arts cartoon porn!
Doc: And what was the name of this masterpiece you were making?
Joe: I think it was called "Long Dong Phooey."
The taxpayers would be proud.
Doc: And so how did you get from that to your current exalted position?
Joe: Okay, fine, fine!!! The boss took a look at that, and said, "I think we've got the perfect job for a man of your talents. You're gonna chase porn fences 'til your balls turn blue." And I said, fine, fine! The economy's bad! So sue me! I haven't been in trouble since then! And I've got real close to cracking this case!
Doc: So you're a crack agent?
Joe: Yes! Or I will be when I get off probation!
Doc: Have you ever actually cracked a case?
Joe: Almost!
Doc: And when you reach your conclusions, are you smoking crack?
Joe: No!
Doc: I think your crack is showing. No further questions. [He sits down, looking triumphant]
Agent Fozdyke blushes bright red as he leaves the room. Well, if he's fired, he can always work on Smutty Sex Romp: The Animated Series. The jury members titter. You hope that helps.
The DA calls the final state's witness.
| Status | ||
| Advocacy Points | 6 | |
