Tree AIDS
From Vidddunderbarn
Contents |
Tree AIDS
You get Tree AIDS from fucking trees. Many of the symptoms of Tree AIDS are:
- Unusual attraction to Trees
- Growing a third leg
- Waking up to find yourself fucking a tree
- In rare cases, some people turn into trees (You
won'twill have spots like the above picture,it's just to show you what trees that have it look like)
How do I know?
To test yourself for Tree AIDS, just follow this list:
- You have a third leg
- You have fucked a tree
- You're skin feels like a tree.
- You're Kyle, Assy, or this thing
Is there a cure?
Sure there is, as with any STD, there is a way to cure it completely. How? Simple! Follow these simple steps.
- Stop fucking trees - No matter what, for godsake control yourself around trees.
- Masturbate - Masturbation is key, because when you're cured, you can go out and fuck another human.
- Don't go outside for longer than 5 minutes - Prolonged exposure to trees can drive a person crazy.
- Bring a friend with a leash if you must leave for longer - Have a leash and friend ready, and make sure they can pull your ass away, or off of the tree.
- Look at porn that disgusts you - This takes your mind off of sex completely, and thus, you don't want to fuck a tree.(If you're a sick fuck, just flick your testicles or tits.)
- Get rid of everything that reminds you of a tree - Anything that is wooden, or tree-resembling.(Boners do not count)
- Whenever you are in doubt, look at Goatse - Goatse is just a brunt and stone cold stop for your crazy ass need, for best results, look into his asshole.
When you follow these steps, you'll find your urine to return to it's clear or yellow color. You're getting close, pretty soon, you'll look at a tree the way you used to, there's just one last thing you need to do, and you'll be off the stuff... or, the tree, whatever works for you.
The Final Step
This is it! You've made it to looking like a normal human being, and not being attracted to trees. BUT! There is one last thing you have to do, or all that work will go down the drain.
This is a step that makes people wonder "What the fuck?". Urine has a key ingredient that gets the last itty bit of tree-lust out of you, and that is it's disgusting taste. 2 hours after you ingest the yellow stuff, you're ass will be cured. Now, just don't fuck anymore trees.
