Teddy Roosevelt

From Superdickery

Theodore Roosevelt was the best President of the United States ever, on account of his amazing hardcoreosity, and his pretty rocking mustache. Anybody who disagrees just can't comprehend how ridiculously awesome Teddy was.

Theodore Roosevelt shot the Winchester Mystery House. Hundreds of native ghosts flew out and he wrestled each one. And then he had breakfast.

Theodore Roosevelt's ghost lives in the White House, where he has his own secret underground ghost-apartment built just for him. He acts as an advisor to the current president and also foils assassination attempts by turning into a bullet-proof ghost. You know why JFK got shot? Because he said "Hey, Teddy, take a few days off. Nothing's going to happen in Dallas, come on." Yeah, that's what you get for being arrogant.