Y4H: Don't object to the porn.
From Create Your Own Story
Ovia goes on to describe The Chartreuse Depths of Manuel Jones.
Ovia: Well, first there's the music and the opening credits...
DA: What's the music like?
Ovia: It's a muzak version of Ride of the Valkyries. Anyway, this dude comes on dressed in some furs with a sword and stuff, out on the plains, and there's a caption that says "Onan the Barbarian," and he kinda poses, and says, "My name is Manuel!" - then he starts beating it some. But he doesn't finish. Then there's another scene with this red-haired girl, and she's in a kinda white tunic thing, with sandals and a circle of leaves on her head, out on the same plain, and she's leaning on a tree, and kinda stroking her titties and fingering herself, and she says "My name is Valeria."
Then they go to Scene Three, where Manuel rides up on this horse with a long-ass saddle, and they both get up in the saddle face to face, and they throw off all their clothes and make out some, and then he gets into her and they do it right there in the saddle. And after he cums, the horse whinnies. It's real artistic.
And then there's Scene Four, which there's three different folks in it. And there's a caption that says "The Dance of the Seven Veils in Seven Seconds." It's like indoors in some kinda club, and this black-haired latin girl with big-ass titties is dancing around in these silk veils, and there are these two dudes in red BVD's dancing around with her, and they keep trying to grab the veils and pull 'em off, but they slip out of their hands and she dances some more, but she takes 'em off anyway, and just when she's all naked but the last one, one of the dudes grabs it, and it's this bright red silk thing, and they each grab an end of it, and they slide it back and forth between her legs and get her off.
And then there's Scene Five where two more chicks come in the club, and they've got bottles of baby oil, and they rub down everybody with the baby oil, and they take turns doing handjobs, and the two dudes do all three girls in the ass.
And then finally there's Scene Six, which is like in some kinda boardroom, with a business meeting, but the chairman of the board is Manuel, and he's got Valeria taking shorthand, and the two dudes and the three chicks from the club scene are all there in suits, and then there's one more dude who turns out to have this humungous schlong. Anyway, they're like the board for this porno mag, and they're arguing about the next issue, and Manuel keeps saying "This is Art!"
And one of the dudes wants to put in something experimental, and he tells the other one, "You don't have the cojones!" And the other one says, "My deek is beeger than jours any day!" So they whip their dicks out to compare, and then the big-dick dude pulls out his so they can see they're outclassed, and one of the chicks goes "ooo!" and starts petting it, and another one of the chicks says "Boys!" And another one says, "Yeah, let's do without them," so the girls start making out, and then it turns into a big orgy on the boardroom table.
And then there's just a close-up of Manuel and he says, "It is Art!" And then it's the closing credits.
DA: Was the director famous?
Ovia: It's written and directed by Debra Alice Sandboy, and she's pretty famous. The credits say there's additional diaglogue by Fibonacci.
DA: How much is it worth?
Ovia: Priceless!
DA: Did you notice anything else?
Ovia: Yeah, when I was getting ready to put the blindfolds away, one of 'em had a hole torn it it, so I had to sew it up.
DA: No further questions.
You give Doc a sharp elbow. Time to get to work. Cross-examine Ovia
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