Waifu Quest/pizza2a
From Create Your Own Story
"BITCHES DON'T KNOW ABOUT MY HECKA-SUBTLE FLAVORS, BRO!" Guy Fieri flexes, squeezing out droplets of orange oil not unlike the stuff that sloughs off the surface of microwave pizzas. One of the oil droplets lands in your mouth. Gross. "IT'S TIME TO GET EIGHT KINDS OF SICK-NASTY ON YOUR TASTING-HOLE! OOOOH YEAH!"
You open your mouth to scream, but it's already too late. The police find your body with three cloves of garlic and a stick of butter lodged in your mouth. Your liver has been surgically cut out and replaced with a whole cheesecake. Sprinkled on and around your corpse are bits of flavorless dried-up McCormick brand basil bought from a Safeway in San Bernadino. They never find your genitals.
In place of your obituary, the newspaper runs a bad review by Anthony Bourdain.
GAME OVER-- You scored 2 out of 1000 points
