Jean-Claude Van Damme

From Speakeasy

ATTENTION! This article has achieved Hebrewlicious status due to some connection with matzo munchers.

"I can crush a walnut with my butt." - Jean-Claude Van Damme

Born in Belgium, Jean-Claude is a drunk, wife-beating cokehead Wallonian ex-martial arts champion who has acted in both big budget blockbusters and straight-to-video stink bombs. While he has not done any good movies in a long while, he does, however, have quite a nice ass.

Israelite status

Jean-Claude's father's mother was Jewish.

Jean-Claude demonstrates the ancient Hebrew martial art known as Jew-fu, which involves rolling silver shekels toward your enemy to distract them.

See also: this

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