Masochist me/Contact
From Create Your Own Story
"Hello," the instructor said, looking each one of us in the eye. "Today you will learn about eye contact and bodily contact. What they mean, what they say, and what they do."
We nodded, and she continued.
"First, eye contact. Someone tell me what is expected."
I answered quickly. "We must always maintain eye contact."
The instructor shook her head. "Incorrect. Here, let me demonstrate."
With that, she grabbed a chair and set it down in front of me.
"So, you are out on a date, and things seem to be going okay so far," she said, looking me in the eye. I mimicked her, keeping my eyes on hers.
"So, what will you do?" She asked, still looking into my eyes.
"I will try to get him talking. To tell me about himself."
"And, if he is shy, reserved?" She asked me.
I tried to figure out how to reply, noticing this woman hardly ever blinked.
"I guess that depends on what kind of things I knew about him, and go with my gut feeling."
I started to wonder if I had given the right answer.
"But you don't know anything about this client. He did not put much information on his bio."
I started wondering what I was doing wrong. "Then I guess I would pick something to tell him about myself."
Under her non-wavering gaze, I started to feel a bit self conscious.
"Like what? I mean, is the client there to listen to you talk about yourself?"
I cleared my throat. "I guess not." I was starting to feel very self conscious by now.
"Okay, so, now I want you to think about something. How do you feel, with me, right now?"
The sudden change in topics confused me, but I answered honestly. "Really? A bit...strange, and like I am doing everything wrong."
"Why is that?" She asked.
"Sorry, I don't know." I replied, feeling worse and worse, like I had no clue.
"Eye contact." I blinked in surprise. "What you are feeling is exactly what you expressed. I am maintaining constant eye contact with you."
With that, she got up and walked back in front of all of us. I felt relieved.
"Too many people know the default answer, maintain eye contact. But, constant eye contact sends the wrong message. Instead of saying 'I am interested in you', it tells the other party that you are in control of them. You are the dominant person, and makes the clients feel like it is less of a date, and more of a confrontation."
It dawned on me. "That is exactly how I felt."
"While you do want to maintain eye contact in many circumstances, you want to still look at other things. If you are in a restaurant, you can look at the menu, or look at the food. Look away time to time. I would say, it is more important to maintain steady eye contact."
We nodded, seeing her point.
"So, where is the balance. Lets continue our discussion." With that, she sat down in front of me.
"So, for a client who is not really saying much about himself, and which you do not know much about, you are correct when you said to tell him a little about yourself. Sometimes, it could just be him subconsciously not trusting you, or not completely secure about the situation." This time, I noted she glanced at the other two time to time, and blinked more. "Remember, he knows you are there only because you are getting paid. So, it is up to you to make him feel more comfortable with him." I nodded, feeling that maybe I wasn't a completely clueless dolt.
"Also, you need to remember, do not go overboard. Try to ask simple questions. Like, what do they do for a living. If you notice something different, like an accent, see if you can find out where they are from. If you know anything about it, then you will have topics you can discuss." It was good information, and I felt much more comfortable. "So, tell me, how do you feel now?" She asked, changing the topic back again.
"I feel, more relaxed, more comfortable." She nodded, stood up, and went back to the front of all of us.
"Exactly. You still want to maintain a comfortable level of eye contact, but to not overdo it. Strong eye contact makes you appear secure, self confident. But, you only want to maintain it for about seven to ten seconds each time. Too little, and you lose a strong impression. Too much, and you make them feel uncomfortable, like you are in a confrontation."
We all murmured our agreement.
"However, this is where it becomes tricky for you. These are standard dating techniques for successful dates, but that is normally among peers. You will have many clients that, while you might never want to date them in your personal life, you will still need to make a good impression on them for your service. Those who tend to view women as inferior, or those who are older, and grew up in a male oriented society. For these, you may need to limit your eye contact to 3-5 seconds before breaking it. They are looking for subservient women, those who 'know their place'. This creates an image of you that you are inferior to them, or more respectful."
We understood.
"So remember, judge your client, and try to ensure you maintain the proper eye contact. Many of these same things will also come into play with physical contact. You want to normally appear strong and secure, yet open and inviting. Too much, you just seem crazy. Too little, you will put off many clients by appearing uninterested or standoffish. Also remember to watch what his eyes are doing. If they are paying less attention to you than other things, then the date may not be going well, and you will need to find a way to turn it around or risk losing this client. You can also watch their pupils. They will normally dilate slightly when they are viewing something they consider attractive. Not physically attractive, but if the client is superficial enough, possibly, but someone they view as being attracted to. You can also watch his eyebrows. Normally, if a man is attracted, he will lift his eyebrows. Like if you say something that intrigues him, or do something he enjoys. But be careful you are not watching only for reactions, and loose track of the situation. Remember, you are all young and pretty, so you will have some level of interest from clients." We nodded, feeling confident. "But, most of your money will come from steady clients, those who continue booking you. You need to do more than look pretty and spread your legs to keep them coming back." That deflated us a little.
With that, she started discussing physical contact, and how to do so with clients appropriately.
"Now remember, all of this is for clients that have not expressed specific instructions or desires, and when you are with your client in public venues. You will learn more about more intimate contact in another training course."
"Touch becomes a more complex issue for you, given the reasons you are on the date. The client may have certain expectations. After all, many clients will view you as a high priced hooker. You want to avoid this, but at the same time, want to make sure the client remains interested in you."
I raised my hand. "Yes," the instructor said. I put my hand down, feeling a little silly. "So, we should sort of act, a bit sluttish?"
She shook her head no. "Remember, first, the agency does not offer sex. If you decide to have intimate relations with the client, that is between you and the client. Instead, at least in public, you should act like you are on a normal date. If the client escalates to more intimate contact, and you accept that, knowing he will probably ask for more than a date, then you can escalate the type of contact you engage him and that you let him engage in with you. But, keep in mind, we are escorts, not hookers. You still want to be a woman while keeping him interested. If you act in a 'slutty' manner, it is not likely you will actually spark his interest in you, and he will probably not become a steady client. He will move on to another woman that strikes his interest more, much like he would with a normal woman he has asked out on a date only to try to have sex with her. Remember, you are still a woman."
We noted our understanding.
"So, my advice, for normal clients, is to proceed just like you would in your social life. But, remember to act like you are interested in him."
With that, she had one of the other students stand up. "Hello, you must be Tom," she said.
At first, the other woman said nothing, then finally realized she was supposed to roleplay and put out her hand. "Yes, I am," she said, trying to make her voice sound husky.
The instructor took her hand, then had them both sit down. She practiced the eye contact, as she had discussed before. However, she kept her hands to her sides. They told each other a bit about themselves. Their tones and manners seemed right, but the feeling was a bit off.
Finally, the instructor broke it off. "So, how did that feel?"
"Actually, a bit forced. It felt standoffish, like you were not really pleased to be here." The instructor nodded. "Exactly. I held my hands to myself. While I tried to make sure I expressed interest through words and eye contact, there was still the lack of touch."
This time, she grabbed me. "Hello, Tom, right?"
I nodded yes.
She immediately gave me a giant hug, and even squeezed my ass slightly. "It is so nice to meet you," she said, still wrapped around me.
As we talked, she pointedly touched my face, her hands brushing my breast a couple of times. Her hands were almost always on me. On my hands. On my knees. Her arm wrapped around me. Holding my hand when she wasn't putting it somewhere else.
She broke it off, and asked me, "So, how did that make you feel?"
"Well, like with the constant eye contact, I felt a bit...intimidated." I stopped, thought about it more, then continued. "It almost felt like you were trying too hard. Like you were throwing yourself at me. The constant touching started making me feel awkward. Like you were only here to have sex with me."
The other two nodded their agreement, and threw in a few words like "desperate", "trying to hard", "forcing".
"Exactly," she said. "While maybe there are some men who would like that, many will not. Some will feel like you are trying to push them, or force them. Some will feel intimated and resentful. Although men stereotypically should like that, men are real people, not some cartoon characters. They still want a woman, especially one who might be willing to go all the way, as they hired you, rather than went on a date with a peer, but they still want her to be feminine, soft, and somewhat reserved. Again, you might get some clients that don't feel the same way. If they start getting handsy with you, and you are open to it, then you can reciprocate, but you should still try to maintain a level of femininity."
This time she demonstrated with the other student. "Hello Tom."
The student held out her hand.
The instructor stepped past the hand and gave her a warm smile and a warm, friendly hug. "It's nice to meet you Tom." She said, her voice sounding delighted.
The instructor had her sit down, and they started talking. As interesting topics were discussed, she gently placed a hand on the student's leg or arm. She leaned forward attentively.
"So, how do you feel?" The instructor asked the other woman.
"Like you are more interested. Like you are paying attention, and being warm and inviting." She said. We nodded agreement.
"Exactly. Forget your 'job'. You are a woman, going out with a man. The only difference is, you need to appear interested, regardless of your true level of interest. But always remember, it is still your choice. You are not forced to do anything outside of the professional service. So, be professional, make sure the client feels special, and make sure you only offer services you are willing to."
With this, she added a few more tips.
"If you are walking, and if he isn't trying to take your hand, then place your hand on his arm. Feel free to snuggle up against his arm if he reacts positively, but always pay attention to how he is reacting. Is he tightening up, or not. Is he showing more confidence, or does he stop communicating as much. And always remember to be gentle, non-threatening. Don't grab his hand. Don't aggressively hold on. Let him lead, but don't be afraid to guide him gently if he is nervous or shy."
We closed up after a few more practice sessions. I never realized how intricate all this stuff was. No wonder I never seemed to do well in relationships...
