Piggy's Day/The drawer

From Create Your Own Story

You open the drawer of the fisherman's desk. There's a bunch of old medallions, sea charts, about three outdated cellphones, pencils, erasers, rulers and a swiss army knife with at least 20 different functions, including a compass, a sextant and several different phone chargers.

Piggy: "Nah, none of this is any good for anything. Except maybe for navigating the ocean."

Now that you think about it, why did you ever go out to sea with nothing but a cellphone?

Piggy: "Well, actually, most of these things can be done with a cellphone."

You then have another thought. Two in a span of a minute, slow down there, will you.

Piggy: "I didn't take any food with me! I haven't eaten in two hours!"

You order a chicken-anchovy-portobello-tuna pizza, with beef meatballs on top, and ABSOLUTELY forbid them from putting any pork in it. You are very strict about not being a cannibal.

Pizza place worker: "You say you're on an offshore boat? Can we interest you in sending the pizza via a guided missile?"

Piggy: "A guided missile? I don't know, isn't that sort of dangerous?"

Pizza place worker: "Nah."

Piggy: "Okay then, fire at will!"

In this day and age, single use guided missiles can be made almost entirely from recycled cardboard and some wiring, and cost 5 dollars each. The pizza is loaded onto one of those, and sent onto the coordinates of your cellphone. After launching, the guided missile hits the engine of the medi heli carrying the fisherman. Both crash down.

Piggy: "What's taking so long? I wonder if they sent it to the wrong planet..."

As you wait longer and longer for the pizza to arrive, you decide to go to sleep, and expect the pizza to have arrived in the morning. You don't wake up, as you somehow die of hunger without waking up.

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