Sarah
From Speakeasy
| This article needs more boobs. You can help by showing your tits. |
Sarah (1982- ) is an artist, humorist, leading 21st century social commentator, part-time biographer, amateur linguist, gangsta rapper, leading figure in the Upper Midwest surrealist movement, despicable human failure and international weirdo. Among Sarah's best-known works on Speakeasy are her gangsta rap lyrics and sarcastic posts about 'Aryan activists' aka the white power (bowel) movement.
Contents |
Sarah Facts
Sarah's infamy rests not only on her internet activity, but also on her life, which has featured allegations of homoѕеxuality, ѕеxual fetishes and Trotskyism. She was famously described by Regis Philbin as "bat shit crazy." She is a pale ass cracker of mixed ethnic extraction and part of the Satanic seedline, something she's kinda proud of or hates, depending on her mood. She will never be racially acceptable for 94.2% of Stormfront due to her Central Asian and Jew blood, even though she looks whiter and more eugenic than most of the people on there.
Sarah is an avid collector of ephemera. She has a particular interest in pinups, postcards, blotters, stamps and lithography. She loves Pewabic pottery and believes the only way to drink a premium beverage properly is out of an artisan crafted stoneware vessel. She also has a whole lot of books, mostly on useless knowledge type subjects which fascinate her such as history, archeology, anthropology, costume design, alchemy and black magic. She's not into Satanism or anything like that, though. In fact, she fancies herself some sort of Muslim, though others would disagree.
Sarah is an advocate of the healing wonders of masturbation, a topic near and dear to her um,...heart, for some reason.
Sarah claims to have seen Malcolm McDowell walking around a swanky suburb of Metro Detroit in 1999. She wanted to say hello to him but he looked rather busy so she left him alone. She had a junior high school crush on the geriatric British actor, which shocked and sickened many of her close associates.
Role on Speakeasy
Sarah was an early member of Speakeasy and as co-admin is charged with fixing the place up aesthetically, adding new features, and flushing spambots down the crapper. She hosts the fiefdom called Sarahstan, which revolves around her own weird little interests. She contributes many hot mamas to the BIGGLES Babes Thread. Sarah also is main contributor to the Hungary part of the ex-International section (now located within Sarahstan), simply because nobody else gives a rat's ass about Hungary.
Statistics
- Her diet consists of grains, vegetables and dairy products.
- She does not smoke, drink alcohol or do any drugs of any kind.
- She's known to call herself a fehér cigány or white gypsy based on her nomadic, somewhat lazy nature and love of weird clothing.
- Her estate contains the following: 3 airfields, 5 solariums full of exotic plant species, a garage carpeted in priceless Persian rugs which holds 37 Rolls Royce automobiles, a state of the art observatory, a manor with 277 bedrooms, a mosque, a Wal-Mart, a fully operational indoor waterpark, 53 bathrooms with silk toilet paper and all the plumbing fixtures (including the toilet bowls) are made out of solid gold.
- She is an avid skee ball player.
- Her dreams are usually bilingual.
- Her first celebrity crush was Ted Bundy.
- She believes even Jesus thinks she is an asshole.
- "She's right" - Jesus
- Outside of school, she has only read a handful of fiction books.
- Martin Lindstedt called her a Taliban skank.
- She is a supporter of freedom for East Turkistan and is a Pan-Turanist.
Sarah's favorite candies
Kolumbo, a Croatian chocolate made with hazelnuts and honey
Haribo Goldbären, the original gummi bears, except no others!
Quotes
- "It doesn't interest me to take this forum in that direction anymore than I would want to join the World Church of the Creator or get a tattoo of a lynched negro on my boob."
- "I'd rather be in a mosque with Turks than be at a praise YHWH redneck barbeque."
- "He's about as sultry as a home enema kit." - Sarah on Philip Kirkorov
From others
