Sarah

From Speakeasy

Revision as of 09:28, 22 November 2006

Early life

Sarah was born in the early 1980s. She grew up as middle class white trash in Suburban Detroit. During her childhood her family alternated between comfort and near poverty. She has an older sister and a younger brother. Sarah is descended from Flemish nobles, Polish peasants - all of them die-hard Catholics - on her father's side and a grab bag of Limeys, Central Europeans, West Siberians and cryptojews on her mother's side. Sarah would argue a lot with her father, who would start arguments after drinking too much. She recently began appreciating these often tearful tirades for what they taught her about debate tactics. She credits her father's staunchly right-wing politics and drunken/insane mumblings thereof with fueling her interest in the left-wing. Unbaptised to this very day, her parents did not raise her in any religion. Christmas and Easter were celebrated secularly in her family's household. Any mention of religious iconography at gatherings of her extended Catholic family elicited stiffled giggles or eye rolling from her and her atheist mother. When asked by religious nuts if she loved Jesus, Sarah would say "I can't say, as I've never met him."

Education and political metamorphosis

Sarah's interest in the wider world actually began at age 14 when she decided to join the Young Communist League. She didn't find what she was looking for with that particular group of infantile reactionaries. For a long time she flirted with Nationalism and Nazism, though mainly as an outlet to shock society and challenge politically correct morality, which she regards as "retarded." Through this she became entangled in many online debates regarding the Holocaust, a taboo topic she says is rife with an uncomfortable amount of mythos and bizarre religiosity. Not an outright Holocaust denier, Sarah's stance on the matter is that it should be openly discussed from all sides and thoroughly researched before any sort of conclusions are made.

Sarah has a habit of becoming interested in certain worldviews and trying them on for size, and discarding them when they do not fit. She often finds herself feigning affiliation with high-minded progressive/liberal causes such as Socialism, when deep down she subscribes to a malignantly narcissistic, elitist and harshly Darwinian view of the world. She fits somewhere between Libertarianism and Libertinism.

In junior high school Sarah was considered a candidate for an elite gifted students' program, but her tendency to dodge homework in favor of hanging out at the local public library's reference section crushed these dreams. All told, Sarah was a terrible secondary school student who skipped school and got into trouble often. Her antisocial antics caused her to be sent to the school psychologist quite often. She was found to have an I.Q. of 156 and also was (mis)diagnosed as manic depressive. Sarah was prescribed Prozac for her depression, which didn't help much as she wasn't even depressed. She was evetually booted out of her high school. The incident stemmed from her general loathing of the prison-like, conformist learning environment.

Adult life

After being kicked out of school Sarah lived in a trailer park for about a year and a half. It took her a few months of screwing around to find her place again and get her life together. She did, but eventually slipped into her "lost years." She began an ill-fated relationship which lasted about 8 months. When it became clear that situation would not work, she returned home. Then a year later she entered into another relationship with a Hungarian fellow. In 2002 she visited him for 3 months. After spending a couple of years saving her money, she went to live in Southeast Hungary. There she stayed for 2 years, finding the experience warmly alienating and pleasantly uncomfortable. She got married to her Hungarian honeybunny in mid-2005.

Employment

Sarah has worked in retail, gardening, arts & crafts. She thinks of herself as an anti-social, unsuccessful version of Martha Stewart, who was also her namesake on the Phora.

Art

Antisemitism & Racism

Sarah doesn't like Israel, AIPAC, or the ADL. Or Zionist Evangelical Christians. She thinks Jews are probably the true Master Race, based on their average I.Q., financial talents and sense of humor. She isn't antisemitic, as she eats matzo all the time and thinks Jewish guys like Bobby Fischer are totally foxy. Sarah tried to be racist but failed miserably. She hates a lot of people, but does so for much better reasons than their racial origin. While she does make offensive comments at times, Sarah really isn't racist. Her problem is with "trashy" people who are ignorant and have no self-respect. Such people come in all colors and races, except for Asian.

S3x life and attitudes

Sarah considers herself mainly hetero, but given a choice between a gorgeous woman and a hideous man, she would go play for the other team. She has allowed much less than a handful of people access to her holiest of holies, remaining a technical virgin until age 20. It was quite a feat, as once she hit 18 she turned into a total nympho. She has long been attracted to assorted men, mostly older than her or long deceased and far outside the mainstream of what most women would consider "hot." She gets nauseated just thinking about George Clooney, Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and those other Hollywood duds who have all the personality of a greasy paper bag, their glossy People magazine spreads leaving Sarah's panties as dry as the Atacama desert.

Sarahstan Studs from L to R: Yeltsin, Lenin, Heydrich, Gyurcsány, Bundy, Croatian Commando.

Sarah has a problem with women who she describes as 'sk@nks,' females who seek fame and gain all their self-worth from strangers, giving their bodies away for money, a few moments of appreciation or stardom. She does not have a problem with so-called '$luts,' or h0rny chicks who score a lot. If she could, she would also probably be a $lut, but she is very satisfied by her well-hung Magyar p0rnst@r husband and sees no need to be a $lut.

Paris Hilton is a herpes-infested jizz rag and archetypal sk@nk

Role on Speakeasy

Sarah was an early member of Speakeasy and as co-admin is charged with fixing the place up aesthetically, adding new features, and flushing spambots down the crapper. She hosts the fiefdom called Sarahstan, which revolves around her own weird little interests. She contributes many hot mamas to the BIGGLES Babes Thread. Sarah also is main contributor to the Hungary part of the International section, simply because nobody else gives a rat's ass about Hungary.

Statistics

• Her diet consists mainly of Hot Pockets, Canada Dry and Honey Comb cereal.
• She's known to call herself a fehér cigány or white gypsy based on her nomadic, somewhat lazy nature and love of weird clothing.
• If she won the lottery, she'd like to buy land somewhere nice, build a yurt village and raise goats and llamas on a farm.
• Her name means Princess of God Wolf.
• She is an avid skee ball player.
• Her dreams are usually bilingual.
• Her first celebrity crush was Ted Bundy.
• She believes even Jesus thinks she is an asshole.
• Outside of school, she has only read a handful of fiction books.