View from the porch
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Revision as of 14:45, 2 January 2008
A View from the Porch By Martin R. Wong, Ph.D. (5) 62-64
Col 1
Evenings in Ebem, Ohafia, are not for thrill seekers. The somewhat weathered wooden porch that makes up the totality of Kalu’s Stylish Bar overlooks Ebem’s main street, the only paved street, on the way from Umuahia to Arochukwu. Off to the left side of the porch is the kerosene fired beer cooler. I think I can remember it actually being turned on once. On the right side was a wooden bench that would seat five in a pinch. Men in Nigeria don’t shrink from sitting hip-to-hip even when the temperature is 90 plus. A chair where Kalu usually sits completes the furniture. After two hours of tennis in the hot West African sun, Kalu’s Stylish Bar was irresistible. It was there I learned what transplanted German beer will do to your head when it comes to you at 90 degrees Fahrenheit. Sometimes when finances were tight, a little palm wine was in order. At other times I could even get a little “illicit” white lightning distilled from palm wine. The porch was a great observation post for watching people. Ebemers mostly walked since the town was not that spread out and bicycles were for long-distance travel. Just as with Times Square, sooner or later everyone you wanted to see would walk by. Across the street was “Stay Young” photo studios run by Uduma Okala who usually spent more time on the tennis court down the street, and on the porch, than actually in his “studio” since business was not that good. He was perhaps the most sophisticated of the porch devotees since he had lived for a short while in Lagos and knew the ins and outs of diplomacy and trade. Unfortunately his several “wives” and 23 children had kept him somewhat tied down of late to Ebem.
Kalu owned the Stylish Bar. It was his house and his porch after all. He was a large affable man with a broad voice, an onye Ohafia in the old tradition - a warrior without a battle since time had taken the edge off his aggression as well as his need to prove anything to anyone other than it was nice to sit awhile over a warm beer. He frequently wore a wrapper and sometimes a striped wool stocking cap that had seen many campaigns. When tanked up a little, he was known to jump to his feet and yell, “A bu onye Ohafia”, a kind of Ohafia uber alles chant.
The other regular devotees of the porch numbered two or sometimes three but there were always drop-bys who stayed awhile to soak up atmosphere. Kalu’s was the only place in town where one could honestly come by a beer, or just conversation, if you happened to be down on your luck. Conversation - whether in Igbo or English - was an Ohafia delicacy and the art of it was not taken lightly. Everyone enjoyed a well-spoken phrase even if the content was not very relevant. ==Col 2
