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User talk:Admin

Tom — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 03:37:53 GMT

Tom: I'm Purple

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{{TA|WHINE and CHEESE}}

==Insert YAP here, I know you want to...==

Yap ya pity, yap yap yap.... <nowiki>~~~~</nowiki>Zana Dark 12:39, 23 December 2007 (EST)

:If all the peanut butter is gone, how do they expect to predict the weather? Farkin' meteorologist. [[User:Tom|Premier Tom Mayfair]] 22:30, 24 December 2007 (EST)

[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Chuck_Norris_vs._MacGyver Chuck Norris vs. MacGyver]. [[User:Tom|Premier Tom Mayfair]] 22:37, 24 December 2007 (EST)
:Please go pick me me up if you want me to blow you, I need both hands and an empty peanut butter vessel. Zana Dark 11:05, 25 December 2007 (EST)

== Uncyclopedia ==
[http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/Uncyclopedia:Flammable%27s_Office#Zana_Dark_.28Talk_.E2.80.A2_Contribs_.E2.80.A2_Block_.28rem-lst-all.29_.E2.80.A2_Logs_.E2.80.A2_Groups_.E2.80.A2_Checkuser.29 Here is what is to happen when your ban is lifted on January 3<sup>rd</sup> at Uncyclopedia]. <br />It's ''serious business''. Take my advice. Please. I only want the best for you. [[User:Tom|Premier Tom Mayfair]]

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==E( O )3==I AM QUEEN OF URANUS!!!!
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User talk:Admin

Tom — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:37:06 GMT

Tom:

User talk:Admin

Tom — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 03:30:52 GMT

Tom: o_O

User talk:Tom

Tom — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:52:49 GMT

Tom:

{{T|Less Talkin', More Suckin'}}
[[Image:2BINKEDS00N.jpg|right|200px|''TRAMP STAMP:''' ''..a tattoed tit, say no. 13..'']]
=↓ Blow Me Below ↓=

User:Tom

Tom — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:42:30 GMT

Tom:

{{T|Premier Tom Mayfair}}
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Hi, I'm Fag!</h1>
<div style="position: relative; top: +0.2em; font-size: 95%;">the [[content-free|AIDS-free]] (I think) user that anyone can have buttsecks with<br />
</div><div id="articlecount" style="width:100%;text-align:center:padding:1em;font-size:85%;">[[Special:Statistics|{{NUMBEROFARTICLES}}]] people have shagged this user</div></div>

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[[Gaydar|Culture]] '''·''' [[Sergei Rachmaninoff|Music]] '''·''' [[UnNews:Local men secure enough in masculinity to fuck other men|News]] '''·''' [[Gay|Confused?]] '''·''' [[HowTo:Convince People You're a Heterosexual Male|Help]] '''·''' [[Socratic method|Questions]]
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[[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review|Get ywr article reviewed... maybe by me =P]] '''·''' [[Uncyclopedia:Best of|Best stuff on Uncyc]]
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! style="background-color:#cef2e0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left" | Me
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[[Image:TomSP.gif|center|thumb|Me were I in South Park: otherwise proof I'm a fag]]
[[Image:PremierTomMayfairChe.png|left]]
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! style="background:#cef2e0; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3bfb1; text-align:left" | <div class="plainlinks" style="float:right;margin-left:5px;margin-right:10px"></div>Obligatory userboxes
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{{User Winkler}}{{User PEEING}}
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{{User Bright Future}}{{Mindspeakm|4}}{{UserSexy}}{{adoptee|spaz}}<br><br><br><br>{{UKer}}{{user procrastinate}}{{bassist}}<br><br><br>{{User Feedback}}{{Typo|X}}

{{User libertarian}}{{User Musical}}
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{{MUN}}
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! style="background-color:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | My most-used phrase of the now
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|<center><span style="font-size:130%;font-weight:bold" class="plainlinks">"MASS PAIN!"</span><br />on [[And that's how it happened]]<br />lololol</center>
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! style="background:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | About Me
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'''[http://www.projectplaylist.com/node/21456993 GO HERE FOR GREAT MUSIC] =D'''
''will be adding "moar" to this page later...''
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! style="background:#cedff2; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #a3b0bf; text-align:left" | Latest articles that has that writing wot I done did
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==Articles==
*'''New page:'''<br>[[Why?:Get Drunk]]
*'''New page:'''<br>[[HowTo:Have a Wacky Misadventure]]<br>''collab with [[User:Cajek|Cajek]]!''
*'''Planned:'''<br>[[Product Placement]]<br>''note to self:'' [[:Image:Sponser.jpg]]!
*'''New page:'''<br>[[And that's how it happened]]
*'''New page:'''<br>[[UnNews:Marilyn Manson performs fellatio, claims "it was strictly business"]]
*'''New page:'''<br>[[Godzilla Versus Jaws]]
*'''Edits to help:'''<br>[[Gay]]

{{User:Fag/P}}

==Images==
[[Image:Error message - IE8.png|thumb|250px|center]]
[[Image:Error message - Legalise.png|thumb|200px|center]]
[[Image:Fagchristmas.jpg|thumb|125px|center]]
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! style="background-color:#F2CECE; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size:120%; border:1px solid #ffc9c9; text-align:left" | My Awards
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<center>'''No big'uns as of yet, but I assure yew I'll be attempting at [[NotM]] (Noob of the Month).'''</center><br>
{{Golden Shower Award}} Awarded by [[User:Cajek|Cajek]] [[Uncyclopedia:Pee Review/Moving the goal posts|here]]! :D
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Tom — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:41:47 GMT

Tom:

File:PremierTomMayfairChe.png

Tom — Tue, 25 Dec 2007 02:36:51 GMT

Tom:

Windows PX

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 07:01:37 GMT

Tom:

{{Whoops|Microsoft Windows}}
[[Image:Windowsxd.PNG|thumb|right|488px|Actual screenshot of '''GUIdows'''.]]
{{Q|Why didn't I ever think of that?|Some random guy|GUIdows}}
GUIdows is an operating system made by [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science Inc.]] That was released on [[May]] [[17]], [[2000]] and is a [[gay|popular companion]] to the GLaDOS operating system. It is considered one of the [[Unix|first ever operating systems]] to bend the line between [[Illegal aliens from outer space!|system communication and annoying]] as it has tight [[integration]] with the genetic life portion of GLaDOS and is the [[Total Fucking Asshole Server 2006|first operating system that you can actually interact with]]. <small>(cause it's actually alive,)</small>

==Development==

Started in 97' when Aperture was [[lazy|desperate]] for an [[Your mom|easier way]] of controlling GLaDOS. So our scientists thought up of a [[GUI]] solution. The solution was based on a [[Windows 95|32-bit method]], Using a [[Intel|protected-mode processor]]. We could make the [[GUI]] solution [[lies|easier]], [[Plagiarism|faster]] and more [[fraud|secure]]. This essentially reduced the [[DOS|text portion]] of GLaDOS to being a [[weak|Bootloader]].

But the Aperture Team didn't think this was the spark they were looking for so they worked with the ''"original"'' GLaDOS team to [[integrate]] it with GLaDOS. Using a [[magic|complex computer algorithm]], GLaDOS could [[invasion|appear on any computer and speak to the user]]. The team praised it as [[stupid|genius]].

As noted, We got [[DOS|integration]] down but we just couldn't get the [[GUI]] in our heads. [[Marijuana|So we thought and we thought]] and then we [[Idea|came up with something]]. One of our scientists came up to the blackboard and [[Windows 95|drew a rectangle with one box on the left and one on the right then he drew some boxes]]. As we pondered, We said. ''"Hey, This could be our [[ripoff|new GUI]]."'' so we worked [[Lazy|8 months]] to design it.

As with some of our [[lies|design goals]], We aimed to having longer filenames. How this worked is that we had the filenames in a separate buffer and it would use a system call to call up the different name.

Also the most important goal was GLaDOS [[compatibility]]. We accomplished this by having a Window act as GLaDOS and [[Emulation|emulate]] it's features, This gave it the feeling of GLaDOS. Then we had it run a GLaDOS program and with [[failure|success]] it called out to the subsystem and launched the program. We had a [[Orgasm|stroke]] of brilliant [[Idiocracy|luck and genius]] right there. The first convergence between a [[Windows 95|16-bit operating and a 32-bit operating system]]. [[Microsoft|Who couldn't of done that first]].

We released the final version in [[2000]] and everyone was now using it on Aperture computers, [[Windows 98|The first GUI-based operating system]] had finally been [[stolen|completed]] and the [[Microsoft|home computer has been revolutionized forever]].

==Essential Features==
[[Image:Windows_Flag.jpg|thumb|130px|right|The GUIdows flag. Very unique, original and inspiring.]]
As noted before. GUIdows has a number of [[obsolete|features and innovations]] that put it above the edge of other [[OS|operating systems]]. Built around a core of 4 essential parts of the OS, The OS can do a wide variety of things such as browse the internet, read your email and play music. And thanks to our innovative design team that built GLaDOS, We can [[lie|guarantee]] that these features will beat any [[Windows Vista|modern operating system]], Including '''[[Macintosh|Mac OS 8]]'''.

===Accessibility===
[[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science]] takes great prides in providing the most [[Game:Zork|accessable]] software people can actually pick up the mouse and use. And with GUIdows, we made sure that GUIdows was easy to use. For example, the GUI is unlike anything we have [[Windows 98|ever seen before]], Taking the cues from [[OS]]'s like [[Linux]]. Aperture's GUIdows [[GUI]] has a [[desktop]], [[icons]], [[taskbar]] and a [[start]] button. Something [[Windows 95|never before seen in computers before]]. Also included is the power to [[Windows|change various options from a Control Panel]]. [[Windows|Adjust or mute sound sources from a volume panel]] and [[Windows 98|automaticly keep your system up to date with Dr. Sherlock and includes an intelligent Disk Defragger]] that's controlled by GLaDOS herself. Since she's all intelligent. All this [[ripoff|innovation]] from [[wikipedia:|Aperture]] that's sure to make your system feel like a [[obsolete|machine from the future]]. another feature we've included is defined to bring the comfort of some form of intelligence to help the user, as [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science Inc.]] has a kink for [[ripoff|innovation]]. We designed the system to be [[Windows|tightly integrated]] with GLaDOS, This means that most [[compatibility|applications]] will work and you can even boot into GLaDOS. However, The true innovation here is that the [[The Terminator|genetic life]] portion of GLaDOS will be able to [[iPod IV|talk to you]] and [[Takeover|take over your computer]], Using [[magic|complicated methods like screen capturing, hardware emulation and an audio component]]. You'll see your [[iPod IV|desktop come to life]] as files move around, windows open themselves and hear GLaDOS give you helpful advice. With these 2 featues, GUIdows is the most accessable OS ever.

===Multimedia===
Multimedia is a growing process and with GUIdows, we wanted to make sure we captured all the audio, video, gaming, multimedia goodness you can handle, using a a new technology called [[DirectX|InstantZ™]] technology, We'll be able to see better graphics and hear better audio. Instant3D™ allows for the first time to have better [[Photoshop|image quality]] then [[OpenGL]] thanks to [[Voodoo|hardware buffering]], To prove that, We put the best card in for it's time, The [[Voodoo|ATI Rage 3D LT]] and it worked like butter. It also allows for more [[Easy|complex research]] to happen since researchers can now simulate stuff in [[Universe|3D space]]. It could also be used for [[wikipedia:Half-Life|games]] but expect GLaDOS to tell you how much [[you suck]] and by using InstantSound™, We can deliver to you the crispiest sound that no operating system could top, by using dedicated audio streams. This can improve perform ace as the sound is being rendered by the sound processor instead of the CPU therefore taking less stress off of the CPU. What's also unique in InstantSound™ is the ability to use a microphone to communicate with GLaDOS. How it works is that GUIdows takes the sound from your microphone and sends an alternate stream to the genetic life portion of GLaDOS so it can respond back with helpful advice. With [[DirectX|InstantZ™]], Your life will never be the same again, also included is the program to play the future of multimedia-era files, sometimes scientists want to [[lazy|kick back and relax]]. And for those people we have the included [[Windows Media Player|Media Player]], It can play ''video/audio'' and also has support for the [[Primitive|Next-Generation]] [[MIDI]] format. And since it's integrated into GUIdows. GLaDOS can also [[American Idol|judge]] your [[MP3|songs]] and [[MPAA|videos]]. Nagging you about how much she hates/loves them and sometimes she just closes the program just cause [[Kevin Federline|she doesn't like what she sees]], it is seriously the future of multimedia as we know it. As you might get board with the Aperture Media Player, we have included a bunch of games designed to keep you busy, We have packed some of the most popular and top of the line games that everyone is playing currently. From [[Freecell]] to [[Solitaire]] to [[Hearts]] to [[Minesweeper]]. You'll be entertained for days on end. And that's not the best part, we've integrated GLaDOS into the games. So with GLaDOS on your side. She can comment on your [[You suck|playing style]] and give you [[N00b|helpful advice]] on how to play better. And that's the multimedia side in a stretch.

===Productivity===
[[Image:ApertureInternetBrowser.png|thumb|275px|right|The [[Internet Explorer|Aperture Internet Browser™]] is a force to be reckoned with when it comes to the internet.]]
Everyone knows that with computers come [[laziness|productivity]] and [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science]] is here with the [[laziness|productivity]] included in every copy of GUIdows, [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science Inc.]]'s [[Big Bang|breakthrough innovation]] in [[laziness|productivity]] comes from the [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science]] [[Microsoft Office|Productivty Suite™]], It contains the essentials like [[Microsoft Office#Whored|Writer]], [[Microsoft Office#Powerpork|Presentation]], [[Microsoft Office#XL|Grids]], [[Microsoft Office#AxeIt|Database]], and [[Microsoft Office#Outhouse|Mailbox]] <small>(replaces [[Outlook Express|Aperture Electronic Mail Viewer]])</small>. And with those 5 [[caveman|productivity-inspiring]] programs comes another innovation of valued importance, The Aperture [[Microsoft Word Paperclip|Productivity-Enhancer Buddy]]... Controlled by GLaDOS herself. Once you begin productive work, the [[Microsoft Word Paperclip|Productivity-Enhancer Buddy™]] will [[annoying|pop up randomly]] and tell you that [[Marijuana|you need help]] and [[Nobody cares|what you are doing wrong]], It will also [[Takeover|correct, enhance or finish]] your work with the quality that the [[Microsoft Word Paperclip|Productivity-Enhancer Buddy™]] can give you. [[Ripoff|Truly an inspiration]], also included is the [[Internet Explorer|Aperture Internet Browser™]] which is the best internet browser known to man. Since the [[internet]] is the [[old|next best thing]] since the [[PC]] was invented, we've built it out of the [[Mozilla Firefox|Mozilla]] core, It includes basic support for [[HTML]]. It is very useful for [[Pr0n|conducting research]] or proving a point with GLaDOS which it will probally won't, all of these features will provide a clean and elegent space for [[laziness|productivity]] which you will need.

===Security===
[[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science]] [[Nobody cares|cares about the well-being]] of GLaDOS and has taken extra measures to do that. In GUIdows, We have included a [[virus]] scanner that can detect a [[none|wide range of viruses]]. Cause when a [[virus]] [[sex|infects your computer]], You'll just know that [[manipulation|it'll spread to every computer]] and that included GLaDOS, If GLaDOS were infected then [[Apocalypse|god just knows what'll he do]]. The virus scanner is designed to [[Format|delete any supposed infected file it finds]], Even if it's not infected. GLaDOS will then mock you for almost destroying your computer. It also included [[overload|buffer protection]] and [[electrical surge|low-lever CPU protection]] to help protect your system from a [[BSOD|Catastrophic System Failure]]. It's the most secure OS we could ever make logicily.

==Comparison to Other Systems==
Your probably asking us "Is GUIdows [[No|better than any other OS out there?]]", We took an [[fraud|expert]] and found out by [[Corporation|ourselves]] by [[Ugly|Comparison]].

{| {{purtytable}}
! || Aperture Science GUIdows || [[Windows 2000|Microsoft Windows 2000]] || [[Mac OS X|Apple Mac OS X]]
|-
| Security || GUIdows has top-of-the-line security and includes an intelligent [[virus]] scanner complete with [[lies|buffer protection]]. || Windows 2000 features a redesigned kernel that's designed to be more [[vulnerable|secure]] and [[easier|harder]] to hack || Mac OS X is based off of [[Unix]] and therefore has better [[security]] then the latter two.
|-
| Accessibility || GUIdows is the easiest OS to use, All there is is the [[Ripoff|Taskbar, Start Button, Desktop]] and your helpful GLaDOS guide to help you. || Windows 2000 is easier to use because it's more [[messy|organized]] and [[slow|optimized]]. || Mac OS X has always been [[simple|easy to use]], Just ask anyone [[N00b|who's never used a computer before]].
|-
| Entertainment || GUIdows comes complete with [[Windows Media Player|Aperture Media Player™]], [[DirectX|InstantZ™]], [[Internet Explorer|Aperture Internet Browser™]] and a couple of [[games]]. Prepare to have [[Time Cubicle|days and days of fun]] || Windows 2000 comes with only three games. But comes pack with [[Windows Media Player]], [[Internet Explorer]] 5 and lots of Preloaded Music, There's also [[Plagerism|improved performance]] with [[DirectX]] 7 preloaded so prepare yourself to have a fast [[Xbox|gaming experience]]. || Mac OS X comes with [[Video|QuickTime]], The best media player on the [[earth|planet]], [[iTunes]] so you can buy songs, [[Mozilla Firefox|Safari]] so you can easily browse the [[internet]] and have fun at the same time and a [[Chess]] game to test out your [[logic]].
|-
| Productivity || GUIdows comes complete with the [[Microsoft Office|Aperture Productivity Suite™]]. The [[lazy|most productive product]] of all, It also includes the [[Microsoft Word Paperclip|Productivity-Enhancer Buddy™]] so that you can [[annoying|get the most]] done out of your work. || Windows 2000 has [[Microsoft Office|Office 2000]], A bunch of apps that are necessary and comes with [[Microsoft Word Paperclip|Clippy]] that can give you help through a though-bubble and in no way interferes with the work. || Mac OS X has [[iTrip|iMovie, iPhoto, GarageBand, iDVD, iWeb]]. The works cause it's iLife.
|-
| Compatibility || GUIdows is fully integrated with GLaDOS so programs are easily [[compatible]] with GUIdows. || Windows 2000 contains a built in [[DOS]] Emulator that doesn't emulate programs all that well || Mac OS X contains a full version of Mac OS 9 it uses to run [[Mediocre Britain|classic]] programs.
|}

Now that you can see that GUIdows is the [[avoid|obvious choice]] for any computer, As you can see by the [[fraud|accurately depicted chart]], GUIdows has been [[lies|proven to be superior in every way]], So go [[eBay|pick up a copy directly]] from [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science Inc.]] Thank you for reading about GUIdows from [[wikipedia:Aperture Science|Aperture Science Inc.]] [[Special:Random|Goodbye...]]

[[Category:Operating Systems]]
[[Category:Computers]]
[[Category:Communication]]
[[Category:Internet]]
[[Category:Corporations]]

GUIdows

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 07:01:19 GMT

Tom:

[[Image:BSSOD.png|right|thumb|375px|Typical Windows XP desktop showing default Truth Theme]]

[[Image:Windows XP.jpg|thumb|right|Microsoft increased their antipiracy efforts by making their disc labels harder to replicate, as seen in this Genuine Windows XP Home Edition disc.]]
'''Windows XP\''', aka Codename [[Lemon]], aka '''[[Teabagging]] Software''' aka NT 5.1.2600 is a <s>stable</s> (yet to come stable release) operating system, it was [[Microsoft]]'s best system to date. But it sucks anyway. It had ''no'' graphical [[user]] interface, compared to the bloatware known as [[MS-DOS]]. It manages to take up a whole 40 GB on one's hard disk and its file system can interact fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and [[Linux]]. It has mouse support, although penguins are as yet not supported or even liked. The "XP" in ''Windows XP'' stands for ''"e'''X'''tra '''P'''enis"'' (or '''Vagina-Penis System'''), though it has been suspected to be an ideogram for a face with a tongue sticking out.

Production of XP began in 1945, and was completed in 1995. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and, overall, a huge load of steaming shit in a blue (or green) box.
They even fill up the system with this funny error messages.

This radical change in [[software]] design came about when it was felt [[Microsoft]] needed a change of leadership, so they sacked Steve Ballmer and [[Bill Gates]], then hired Hull University's Phil Costin as chairman and Jonty the Electric Hamster as CEO. MS also abandoned their Web browser integration policy in favor of placing the less-than-cost-effective [[Mozilla Firefox]] and Opera combination in its place. This was criticized at first, but now users have become used to being less well-off financially.

With the lack of GUI in Microsoft's main product, this meant a lot of their existing software went under a radical redesign. For instance, Microsoft Office 2003, with the exception in the rise in office workers cursing [[Undictionary:Cunty Bollock Chops|cunty bollock chops]] in regards to its performance, contains absolutely no features that [[some people]] would see as pointless and it only require up a few gigabytes of RAM to operate.

[[Windows]] XP also contains a partial implementation of the ''UNIX'' OS, making it more stable and easier to handle for the average home user. Although Microsoft states that this is the "WSFU" feature, further investigation shows that that feature is actually called "Windows Shut the F*** Up" and serves to decrease stability of instant messaging programs, including Microsoft's own Windows Messenger. It has known affiliations with [[Darth Vader]]{{cn}}. (WARNING: comment may be very true)

It is the only version of Windows known not to include the feature that has been a hallmark of Windows since 3.0, the blue screen appearing every 5 minutes, better known as Microsoft 5-minute BlueScreen Technology.

==Tutorial to Windows XP==
[[Image:XP Desktop.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Typical Windows XP desktop with the default "Azul" background.]]
Hi! Today I will teach you how to make [[Your mom|your mamma]]'s home-baked [[Apple]] pie, but also how to install your Windows XP [[software]]. First, insert a floppy disk in the floppy disk drive '''(you should never attempt to insert a floppy disk in a 56X CD-ROM drive, as floppy disk shrapnel hurts)'''. Then, press on the I/O button on your [[computer]]. At this step, you should start to smell burning [[flesh]]; yours. The screen will turn [[black]], and [[nonsense]] character strings will appear from [[nowhere]]. You will be asked if you want to use the CD-ROM drive. As your installation program is on a [[CD]] instead of 1453 floppy disks, press '''Y''' on your [[keyboard]]. You will immediately notice your [[keyboard]] is inverted (or else it would be too easy) as '''N''' will appear instead of '''Y'''. As they will ask you to insert the 1st of the 1453 floppy disks, press again on the I/O button on your computer. Start again, but press on '''N''' instead of '''Y'''. Insert the Windows XP [[CD]] in the CD-ROM drive. Next, type in '''A:\\>d:''' (another useless [[nonsense]] character string that really works: try it on your [[computer]]) and then, press Enter on your [[keyboard]]. Then, type in '''D:\\>setup.exe''' on your [[keyboard]]. The installation program will start. After several days (even with a fast [[CPU]]), the installation will finish. Your desktop should appear. Press on the Start icon of your desktop, then press on Run. A window will open. Type in '''cmd''' and press on Enter. A black MS-DOS windows will open. Type in '''format c:''' and press on Enter on your [[keyboard]]. Answer '''Y''' to the question they ask you (as your [[keyboard]] should not longer be inverted). Your Windows XP [[software]] is being uninstalled from your [[computer]]. ''Thank God, we're almost finished.'' As you see what you just done, you should start to scream, to cry or to freak out. Finally, become completely and utterly irritated with your OS, slam out some beta code and install that instead. Next week, learn how to install [[Microsoft Office]] correctly and how to make your grandma's [[Tracking Cookie]].

==Sucking Pack 3==
[[Image:Windows_XP_SP3.png|thumb|left|200px|A Windows XP with [[crap|Sucking Pack]] 3 installed. How boring is it.]]
[[crap|Sucking Packs]](SP) are distributed by the [[Microsoft]]. SP provide security holes-opening fixes and thus your computer will be safe.

Microsoft promised that, the following things will be added in SP3 for the Windows XP:
*[[CIA|Information Security Center]] 2.0, with the new [[Windows Defender]] 2.0 and comments, also [[Typo]] 1.0...
*"Aaero" will be installed, which is a color scheme similar to [[Windows Vista]].
*Internet Explorer will be updated to a [[Mozilla Firefox]]-like [[Internet Explorer]] 7, which supports [[InActiveY]] applets.
*Icons, images are more detailed. At least anti-alias in the [[Bliss]] wallpaper.
*Updated the dates in the About screen.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.cuteftp.com/cuteftppro/history.aspx|title=CuteFTP 8.0.6 changelog}}</ref>
*Security holes opened.

SP3 is in Beta test period and still being developed secretly. Too bad that the full-of-typo SP3 has been leaked out and many people have installed them. Microsoft still name their Sucking Pack as [[Service Pack]] which is also a typo.

Different from SP2, SP3 provides a more easy way to get annoyed by the system, using the [[killing|User Account Control]].

==Future versions==
[[Image:Error Message3.png|thumb|right|400px|Just when you thought Windows XP couldn't get any worse...]]
[[Image:The_best_pc.png|right|thumb|200px|And cue the fireworks...]]
[[Image:Windows XPista Alpha 1.PNG|right|thumb|250px|Yet, this is a XPista preview, so how cute they ARE!!!]]
*Windows HP

This will be a variant named in memory of the leaked HP sauce incident. The price of this version will be higher than any other piece of software ever sold, but this version will be available under a hire-purchase agreement. {{cn}}

*Windows MANA
*Windows DEX
*Windows AIDS
*Windows HIV
*Windows XD
*Windows X(
*Windows XPista
*Windows 8)
*Windows ROFL
*Windows STFU
*Windows LOL
*Windows FU
*Windows Bonghorn
*Windows All UR BASE R BELONG 2 US
*Windows (A LINUX EXTENSION - OPTIONAL ADD ON)
*Windows SHUT
*SMASHED Windows
*Windows CRASH
*WIN WTF
*Windows virus

==See Also==
*[[Fisher Price]]
*[[Microsoft]]
*[[Windows]]
*[[Apple Computer]]
*[[Windows PX]]
*[[RAM]]
*[[Porno]]
*[[12 Fundamental Cheeses|Cheese Manufacturing]]
*X out your privacy
*[[Windows XP Pirate Edition]]
*[[BSoD|Blue Screen of Death]]

{{windows}}
[[Category:Operating Systems]]

*[[Windows crash]]

==How to Secure Windows XP==
Switch to [[Linux]].

==References==

<references />
{{Reflist}}

==External Links==
[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/182629 Windows HIV]<br>
[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/186896 Windows AIDS]<br>
<s>[http://www.microsoft.com/windows Windows]</s> ''Who... Who was joking? This doesn't exist.''

[[es:Windows xD]]
[[fi:Windows XP]]
[[ja:Windows ΧΡ]]
[[ru:Windows XP]]
[[zh:晕到死�?��?]]
[[zh-tw:暈到死�?��?]]

User:Zana Dark

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:59:57 GMT

Tom:

<div class="peru" id="page" style="padding-left:10px !important;width:100% !important;">
{{TA|Zana Dark}}
<br>

==<big>L00K, I CAN WRITE AGAIN...</big>==
*[[GUIdows]]
*[[Online Erotica]]
*[[Sex]] ass
*[[Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart]]
*[[Secrets of Uranus]]
*[[Flash Your Vagina in Public]]
*[[Captain|Captain (disambiguation)]]
*[[Tits]] ass
*[[Perfect]]
*[[Sloth]]
*[[Studies Show That This Study Is False]]
*[[Show Me Your Tits!]]
*[[Pick Up A Nymphomaniac]]
*[[Ninja Pirate]] rw
*[[Monkey disease]] rw
*[[Smartass]] rw
*[[Pentagon]]
*[[LES|Lesbo]]
*[[Marmot]]
*[[John Tesh]]
*[[Thief]]
*[[Styx]] rw
*[[Cheesus]] rw
*[[Purple nurples]]
*[[Hippies]] rw
*[[Tarot]] rw
*[[Tablet]]
*[[White on rice]]
*[[Häagen-Dazs]]
*[[Björk]] rw
*[[Count Chocula]] rw
*[[Cheese]] rw
*[[Friedrich Nietzsche]] rw
*[[Postman]]
*[[Napolean]]
*[[Aluminum]]
<br clear="all">
</div>

Template:CQuote

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:54:41 GMT

Tom: Template:CQ moved to Evilness

#redirect [[Evilness]]

Evilness

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:54:41 GMT

Tom: Template:CQ moved to Evilness

#redirect [[EVIL GENIUS]]

Evilness

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:54:20 GMT

Tom: Template:CQ moved to EVIL GENIUS

#redirect [[EVIL GENIUS]]

EVIL GENIUS

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:54:20 GMT

Tom: Template:CQ moved to EVIL GENIUS

[[Image:Skeleton praying.jpg|thumb|right|280px|'''Evilness''' at is finest.]]

Evilness is one of the three universal elements, ([[Fluffiness]], [[Evilness]] and [[Holiness]]) and a universal attribute that can be applied to anything. Evilness is very common throughout the universe, as most things, both those in existance and those not in existance, are atleast somewhat evil. There are two forms of evil; one which is awesome, and one which is nasty. (note: not to be confused with the exceptionally evil person [[Evil]])

== The Nature of Evilness ==

There are two different kinds of evil: positive evil and negative evil. Positive (pure) evil is holy, while negative (impure) evil lacks in holiness. Pure evilness is simply awesome, and is prevalent in all things [[Maniacalness|maniacal]]. Impure evilness, on the other hand, is nasty, and should be either converted to pure evil, or extinguished through whatever (preferably purely evil) means necessary.

=== Terms And Usage ===
The terms "evil" and "evilness" by themselves can refer to either positive or negative evil, depending on how they are used. For example, the phrase "You terribly terrible, evilly evil bastard!" indicates that the bastard in question possess impure evil, while the phrase "Oh, you are so wonderfully evilly evil; let me worship you!" indicates that the evil person in question possess a remarkable amount of pure evilness.

== Evilness And You ==

People who possess a significant amount of pure evilness tend to have an unexplainable desire for laughing maniacally, a most wholesome activity. In addition, exceptionally evil (in both senses) people tend to strive for [[world domination]]. If either of these characteristics apply to you, there is a good chance that you possess a significant amount of evilness.

As pure evil is divine, to possess a high amount of pure evil means possessing a high amount of holiness as well, something often referred to as maniacalness. Being maniacal automatically brings with it a desire to gather evil minions to be worshipped by; if this is the case for you, then it is recommended that you begin gathering followers to turn into your obedient, maniacally giggling slaves as soon as possible. (see [[Holiness#Holiness%20And%20You|Holiness And You]] for more details) As well as the opposite, of cource; if it isn't the case, then you should find someone maniacal to follow as soon as possible... Or '''else'''!

=== Recommended Evil Doings ===
If you wish to possess a higher amount of evilness, here is a short list of well-tested evil things to do, all of which have been found to be exceptionally rewarding. (note that in order to keep your evilness pure, you should make sure to possess a level of holiness corresponding to the level of evilness you strive to reach)

# Laugh or giggle in an exceptionally evil and maniacal manner. (if you are truly maniacal, this should come to you naturally whenever you are worshipped by those of lesser maniacalness)
# Plot for [[world domination]]. (for extra effect, while doing so, rub your hands with a maniacal grin on your face)
# Indulge in a bit of [[torture]]. (just make sure to be in the position of torturer rather than torturee)
# Follow in the footsteps of [[Evil]], one of the single most evil people ever to live.
# [[Kitten_huffing|Huff some kittens]].
# If you have the power to do so, enter a crowded area and throw fireballs and lightning bolts all around you, while laughing as insanely as you possibly can. (alternatively, huff your local orange kittens until you believe you do so)

[[Category:Evil]]
[[Category:Elements]]

EVIL GENIUS

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 06:54:05 GMT

Tom: Evil Genius