|
|
| Line 1: |
Line 1: |
| - | {{Title|UnPoetia:Show Me Your Tits!}} | + | [[Image:False.gif|thumb|right|480px|The indesputable '''[[truth]]'''.]] |
| | + | {{NEWS|23 November 2007}} |
| | | | |
| - | {{UnPoetia}} | + | {{DATE|23 November 2007}} |
| | | | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| |
| - | After all this time, all these years, <br>
| |
| - | and all these women that I have yearned <br>
| |
| - | and lusted over wishing, hoping, and <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">such</big> <br>
| |
| - | to see them topless and to see their tits, <br>
| |
| - | all that I had to do was to hold up <br>
| |
| - | a 2' x 3' cardboard sign that read:<br>
| |
| | | | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | '''A new study''' has been conducted to see if said study was false. As it turns out, it is, in fact very, very false. Every single thing said in this study is a lie, including this very sentence. It turns out that most people actually think that this study is true, but it isn’t, it's all lies. There have been numerous logged complaints saying that our study is very confusing, however, it is really quite simple. |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| | | | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | {{CQ|All that anyone needs to know about this study is that it is false.}} |
| - | What is it with large crowds consuming <br>
| + | |
| - | great amounts of alcohol? It is customary <br>
| + | |
| - | and expected for women, women who are <br>
| + | |
| - | mothers, grandmothers, sisters, daughters, <br>
| + | |
| - | and aunts to raise their blouses, pull them on out<br>
| + | |
| - | display their tits to the cheering and drunken <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">crowd</big><br>
| + | |
| - | Women who would never under any circumstance <br>
| + | |
| - | show their tits in public are suddenly flashing <br>
| + | |
| - | multiple times. It is a tit phenomenon. I like it.<br>
| + | |
| | | | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | ==Statistical Findings== |
| - | </div>
| + | [[Image:Crazyhorse.gif|right|thumb|300px|'''Warning:''' Do NOT look at your computer screen!]] |
| | + | This study shows that ninety-five percent of people do not like this study, as it is too confusing. The other thirty percent never even finished it, as their brains were too fried from the sheer impossibility of such a study to continue reading it. It is interesting tto note that of the larger percentage, seventy-five percent read it twice before deciding to read it again, and on the third time around, they possibly stopped and thought to themselves that this story may actually be true, but it is not, I assure [[you]]. Everyone that's anyone knows that this study is false and confusing, and there is no use in arguing about it so just [[STFU]] right now. |
| | | | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | ==Warning!== |
| - | Generally, it happens out at car racing events, <br>
| + | This study is completely false; therefore, you shouldn’t read it, as your head might [[Asplode|explode]]. Side affects of reading this study may include, but are not limited to; [[Cancer]], Severe Cerebral Hemorrhage, Stroke, Heart Attack, loss of hair or limbs, and, in some cases, a minor cough. Again, it is strongly advised that you do not read this study. If you have already read to this point, please consult your local psychiatrist immediately. There are sure to be health risks involved in reading this study. This study is thus undoubtedly false, and you are being forced to stop reading it right now, as it is ending here. |
| - | outdoor concerts, Mardi gras, and/or at Spring Break. <br>
| + | |
| - | Even Jerry Springer has gotten into the act by doling out<br>
| + | |
| - | Jerry beads to any female who flashes her tits to the <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">crowd</big><br>
| + | |
| - | When I was growing up, I remember, the only place that I <br>
| + | |
| - | could see tits was in the art books at the Public Library, <br>
| + | |
| - | in the National Geographic magazine or if one of us <br>
| + | |
| - | were lucky and found one of our father's old <br>
| + | |
| - | discarded Playboy magazines. Today, <br>
| + | |
| - | thanks to PG and R rated movies <br>
| + | |
| - | that were once X and XXX rated, <br>
| + | |
| - | tits are everywhere.<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Hey, Joey, I just saw your mother's tits on the Internet."</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | It used to be that it was a big deal <br>
| + | |
| - | to get to second base. Now, you do <br>
| + | |
| - | not have to marry her, give her a baby, <br>
| + | |
| - | and pay alimony and child support for <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">eons</big><br>
| + | |
| - | You do not have to buy her a ring. You do<br>
| + | |
| - | not have to profess your love for her. <br>
| + | |
| - | You do not have to buy her dinner. <br>
| + | |
| - | You do not have to ply her at all. <br>
| + | |
| - | You do not even have to <br>
| + | |
| - | introduce yourself...<br>
| + | |
| - | You merely have <br>
| + | |
| - | to hold up that <br>
| + | |
| - | lousy sign on <br>
| + | |
| - | cardboard <br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | "Hey, Jen, did you see that creep in the bar? <br>
| + | |
| - | He asked me to show him my tits... Can you <br>
| + | |
| - | imagine the balls on him asking me like that? <br>
| + | |
| - | What a weirdo? Are you serious? I can't believe <br>
| + | |
| - | some guys. He is such a degenerate. You didn't <br>
| + | |
| - | show him your tits, did you? No way. I have <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">more</big> <br>
| + | |
| - | class than that than to just lift up my blouse and bra<br>
| + | |
| - | and show some stranger my tits. I'm not trailer trash<br>
| + | |
| - | I'm nobody's slut. Oh, wait, Betty, there's a "hottie"<br>
| + | |
| - | on the street corner holding up an "official sign".<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | Suddenly, these modest and offended women, <br>
| + | |
| - | who when asked to flash their tits in the privacy <br>
| + | |
| - | of a bar are now lifting their shirts and bras in <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">order</big><br> | + | |
| - | to display their tits in the openness of the city streets<br>
| + | |
| - | for all to see because some guy, just a stranger, is<br>
| + | |
| - | holding up a sign. If only I knew then, what I now<br>
| + | |
| - | know. I just need a single, lousy, black ink sign.<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | Allow me to take this one step further... <br>
| + | |
| - | Let us pay homage to the age of technology <br>
| + | |
| - | and to the generation of the Internet with <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">only</big><br>
| + | |
| - | a moment of cyber silence, please. As a public <br>
| + | |
| - | service, as a way for women everywhere to <br>
| + | |
| - | help men who are in desperate need to see <br>
| + | |
| - | tits, I want every female over the age of <br>
| + | |
| - | 18-years-old and under 118, (I do not <br>
| + | |
| - | discriminate against age) who reads <br>
| + | |
| - | this story to e-mail me a photo of <br>
| + | |
| - | their tits. I, uhm, just wanna see.<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | It is only fair that I write for tits, <br>
| + | |
| - | after all. Think of me as a tit beggar.<br>
| + | |
| - | "Tits! Tits! I'll write you a story, if you<br>
| + | |
| - | show me your tits." I proudly hold up <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">my</big><br>
| + | |
| - | sign, Show Me Your Tits, as a couple <br>
| + | |
| - | approaches me. "Here's $20.00, <br>
| + | |
| - | Buddy. Go buy yourself <br>
| + | |
| - | a decent meal." No.<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | Cleavage is the thing that drives me wild. <br>
| + | |
| - | Only, to me, it is more exciting to speculate <br>
| + | |
| - | what lies beneath that low cut top and sexy <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">bra</big><br>
| + | |
| - | than to suddenly see the entire tit on display. <br>
| + | |
| - | It is more fun when you have to work to see<br>
| + | |
| - | Sure, plenty of women have and show...<br>
| + | |
| - | But real fans of tits wil always know.<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | Yeah, all of us guys have built-in tit meters. <br>
| + | |
| - | We inherit them from our fathers. Some <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">guys'</big><br>
| + | |
| - | tit meters are more sensitive than others. <br>
| + | |
| - | I customized my tit meter with all the <br>
| + | |
| - | movies that I have watched over the <br>
| + | |
| - | decades and by all the topless pros<br>
| + | |
| - | that I have seen over and again. <br>
| + | |
| - | My tit meter is very sensitive. <br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | I remember when I was an eternally horny teenager <br>
| + | |
| - | full of testosterone and always had a raging hard on. <br>
| + | |
| - | Back then, a bra strap would be enough to excite <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">me,</big><br>
| + | |
| - | and now, that I am more mature and have a bit less <br>
| + | |
| - | testosterone, it takes a bit more, two bra straps. <br>
| + | |
| - | I don't know what it is about tits but there is <br>
| + | |
| - | something magically about a nice pair of <br>
| + | |
| - | knockers jiggling up and down and <br>
| + | |
| - | side to side as she walks towards <br>
| + | |
| - | me, especially if they are barely<br>
| + | |
| - | covered in an Angora or a <br>
| + | |
| - | jersey knit sweater. <br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | There is nothing like the sensation of feeling <br>
| + | |
| - | a woman's tit through her clothes, through the <br>
| + | |
| - | softness of her cotton blouse, and the satin of her <br>
| + | |
| - | bra. That is my favorite feeling. Then, once you have <br>
| + | |
| - | her topless, always, I take a moment to admire her tits. <br>
| + | |
| - | Nothing on this Earth feels the same as a well-formed tit. <br>
| + | |
| - | You can blindfold me and put any kind of chemical substance <br>
| + | |
| - | formulated by man to deceive me and I can tell if it is real or not. <br>
| + | |
| - | My tit meter lights up big time.Then, if tits are not enough, <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">there</big><br>
| + | |
| - | are nipples, pink puffy nipples or big brown erect nipples with <br>
| + | |
| - | huge areolas, it does not matter which. Oh, yeah, the nipples <br>
| + | |
| - | are the frosting on the tit cake. There is nothing like seeing <br>
| + | |
| - | bright headlights coming your way. Is it love or just cold?"<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <div style="white-space:nowrap; display: block;float:left;font-family:'Palatino', 'Palatino Lynotype', Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: -2px; line-height: 10px;color: RosyBrown; padding-right: 20px;">
| + | |
| - | Where's my sign? "Freddie, why do you <br>
| + | |
| - | have cardboard on both sides of your <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">car</big><br>
| + | |
| - | windows?" Oh, uhm, I put the cardboard <br>
| + | |
| - | there to block out the sun. Yeah, that's it,<br>
| + | |
| - | to block the sun. "But the cardboard... It<br>
| + | |
| - | reads show me your tits???? You have <br>
| + | |
| - | show me your tit signs in your car."<br>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | <big style="color:sienna;font-family:sans-serif">"Show me your tits!"</big>
| + | |
| - | </div>
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | {{User:Zana_Dark/Template:Tits}}
| + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | | + | |
| - | [[Category:Tasteless]] [[Category:pr0n]] [[Category:Boobage]]
| + | |
This study shows that ninety-five percent of people do not like this study, as it is too confusing. The other thirty percent never even finished it, as their brains were too fried from the sheer impossibility of such a study to continue reading it. It is interesting tto note that of the larger percentage, seventy-five percent read it twice before deciding to read it again, and on the third time around, they possibly stopped and thought to themselves that this story may actually be true, but it is not, I assure you. Everyone that's anyone knows that this study is false and confusing, and there is no use in arguing about it so just STFU right now.
This study is completely false; therefore, you shouldn’t read it, as your head might explode. Side affects of reading this study may include, but are not limited to; Cancer, Severe Cerebral Hemorrhage, Stroke, Heart Attack, loss of hair or limbs, and, in some cases, a minor cough. Again, it is strongly advised that you do not read this study. If you have already read to this point, please consult your local psychiatrist immediately. There are sure to be health risks involved in reading this study. This study is thus undoubtedly false, and you are being forced to stop reading it right now, as it is ending here.
All that anyone needs to know about this study is that it is false. 
