TATTOO - Revision history

Admin at 10:19, 26 December 2007

Admin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:19:50 GMT

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	[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]		[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]

Admin at 10:19, 26 December 2007

Admin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:19:30 GMT

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	[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]		[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]

Admin at 10:19, 26 December 2007

Admin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:19:05 GMT

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	[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]		[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]

Admin at 10:18, 26 December 2007

Admin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:18:35 GMT

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	[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]		[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg\|200px\|thumb\|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]

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Admin at 10:16, 26 December 2007

Admin — Wed, 26 Dec 2007 10:16:36 GMT

New page

[[Image:Tattoo-back.jpg|200px|thumb|This average woman, through her star tattoo, is endeavouring to express her desire to transcend her limitations and become a star in Hollywood. Thus, such tattoos are sometimes known as California license plates.]]

[[Image:SexyTattoos.jpg|thumb|This average male, with his tribal ring tattoos, is attempting to entice females to 'suckle' certain areas - as if to say "Come hither, I too have a vagina..."
]]

A '''tattoo''' is a marking of one's skin through the usage of either a pen, or less commonly printed transfer paper and a damp cloth. A tattoo will last between 3 and 7 days, depending on how often the area of skin is washed, although they can be immediately removed with [[alcohol]]. Like [[Body piercing|piercings]], tattoos are an important way of showing people that you are both daring and an individual who refuses to obey [[The Man]].

==Getting a tattoo==

To get a tattoo, one must go to a tattoo parlour. In exchange for a seemingly unreasonable sum of money, the artist will then stab you repetitively with coloured pens to put the design on your skin. This is done using a special device that makes a loud humming noise so as to intimidate you, and the stabbing element is actually completely unnecessary - tattooists just like seeing people in pain, as they are [[sadist|sadists]] for the most part. Finally you will sit down for 15 minutes and drink a glass of water, as the humming noise has been know to cause nausea or [[epilepsy]]. Then you can leave, and go show all your friends how cool you are!

If cost is a factor, you can often receive a discount on the price of your tattoo if you volunteer to appear on the tattoo shop's TV reality show and receive a tattoo from the shop's apprentice performing his first tattoo. Another low cost alternative are jails and penitentiaries, where many tattooists practice their art on the willing and unwilling.

== Tattoo Artists ==

The first person you see in a tattoo parlor will be a scary looking man/woman covered in tattoos and piercings and wearing leather (the chance is big he/she is in for SM), who is likely the leader of a local motorcycle gang in their free time (watch out, could be the hell's angels of Mercy). This is a tattooist, the person who will apply your tattoo.

It is a well-known fact that all tattoo artists are also [[satanists]]. They have sold their souls to the dark lord in exchange for unrivaled powers in concentrated small talk. Tattoo artists sacrifice [[Christian]] babies to make their ink which they then imbue with the power of the monarch of [[Hell]]. If you get a tattoo that means that you have drunk the blood of the innocents and you are now a satanist too. This is the whole purpose of a tattoo, so that one satanist can recognize another through an obvious skin marking. Welcome to the dysfunctional family.

==Common designs==

Here is a list of common tattoo designs, and their significance/meaning:

*Star(s) - I listen to metal/punk music, wear Converse trainers, and use [[Myspace]] daily.
*Teardrop - I am unable to cry due to malfunctioning tear glands.
*Tattoo on a girl's lower back, right above her ass - I am a slut.
*Swastika - I really enjoyed the film 'American History X'.
*Spiderwebs - Don't tell anyone, but I touch children.
*Band logo - I had sex with the lead guitarist of .... , and all i got was this lousy tattoo and Aids.
*'Tribal' symbol/band - I got this done just to fit in.
*Butterfly - OMG I love kittens and bunnies, they are SOOO CUTE! AWW!
*Equations - I did this as a dare/want to cheat in my upcoming exams.
*Chinese/Japanese symbols - I want to appear spiritual, but have no idea that this is actually item 34 on a takeaway menu.
[[Image:Beef cuts.png|300px|thumb|A full-body tattoo on a bovine]]
*Fire - I am X-TrEmE! I ride a BMX bike and protest against things! Fuck the system!
*'M' on the forehead - I am the [[Prince Vegeta|Ultimate Super Bad Ass Muthafucker]]... bitch.
*Arm Band - I got a cool tattoo just for INKEDNATION.COM
*Nintendo Wii in erogeneous area - I am a real American.

==Animal tattoos==
Animals are people too and enjoy a good tattoo job from their local tattoo artist. As a way of establishing identity, [[cattle]] are especially fond of full-body tattoos.

==See Also==
*[[Tattoo Education]]

[[Category:Caucasian Dermatology]]