GUIdows - Revision history

Admin at 10:54, 27 December 2007

Admin — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 10:54:13 GMT

←Older revision		Revision as of 10:54, 27 December 2007
Line 27:		Line 27:

	===Multimedia===		===Multimedia===
-	[[Image:~~Merry_CHristmas~~.jpg\|thumb\|130px\|right\|The GUIdows flag. Very unique, original and inspiring.]]	+	[[Image:Merry Christmas.jpg\|thumb\|130px\|right\|The GUIdows flag. Very unique, original and inspiring.]]
	Multimedia is a growing process and with GUIdows, we wanted to make sure we captured all the audio, video, gaming, multimedia goodness you can handle, using a a new technology called [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]] technology, We'll be able to see better graphics and hear better audio. Instant3D™ allows for the first time to have better [[Photoshop\|image quality]] then [[OpenGL]] thanks to [[Voodoo\|hardware buffering]], To prove that, We put the best card in for it's time, The [[Voodoo\|ATI Rage 3D LT]] and it worked like butter. It also allows for more [[Easy\|complex research]] to happen since researchers can now simulate stuff in [[Universe\|3D space]]. It could also be used for [[wikipedia:Half-Life\|games]] but expect GLaDOS to tell you how much [[you suck]] and by using InstantSound™, We can deliver to you the crispiest sound that no operating system could top, by using dedicated audio streams. This can improve perform ace as the sound is being rendered by the sound processor instead of the CPU therefore taking less stress off of the CPU. What's also unique in InstantSound™ is the ability to use a microphone to communicate with GLaDOS. How it works is that GUIdows takes the sound from your microphone and sends an alternate stream to the genetic life portion of GLaDOS so it can respond back with helpful advice. With [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]], Your life will never be the same again, also included is the program to play the future of multimedia-era files, sometimes scientists want to [[lazy\|kick back and relax]]. And for those people we have the included [[Windows Media Player\|Media Player]], It can play ''video/audio'' and also has support for the [[Primitive\|Next-Generation]] [[MIDI]] format. And since it's integrated into GUIdows. GLaDOS can also [[American Idol\|judge]] your [[MP3\|songs]] and [[MPAA\|videos]]. Nagging you about how much she hates/loves them and sometimes she just closes the program just cause [[Kevin Federline\|she doesn't like what she sees]], it is seriously the future of multimedia as we know it. As you might get board with the Aperture Media Player, we have included a bunch of games designed to keep you busy, We have packed some of the most popular and top of the line games that everyone is playing currently. From [[Freecell]] to [[Solitaire]] to [[Hearts]] to [[Minesweeper]]. You'll be entertained for days on end. And that's not the best part, we've integrated GLaDOS into the games. So with GLaDOS on your side. She can comment on your [[You suck\|playing style]] and give you [[N00b\|helpful advice]] on how to play better. And that's the multimedia side in a stretch.		Multimedia is a growing process and with GUIdows, we wanted to make sure we captured all the audio, video, gaming, multimedia goodness you can handle, using a a new technology called [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]] technology, We'll be able to see better graphics and hear better audio. Instant3D™ allows for the first time to have better [[Photoshop\|image quality]] then [[OpenGL]] thanks to [[Voodoo\|hardware buffering]], To prove that, We put the best card in for it's time, The [[Voodoo\|ATI Rage 3D LT]] and it worked like butter. It also allows for more [[Easy\|complex research]] to happen since researchers can now simulate stuff in [[Universe\|3D space]]. It could also be used for [[wikipedia:Half-Life\|games]] but expect GLaDOS to tell you how much [[you suck]] and by using InstantSound™, We can deliver to you the crispiest sound that no operating system could top, by using dedicated audio streams. This can improve perform ace as the sound is being rendered by the sound processor instead of the CPU therefore taking less stress off of the CPU. What's also unique in InstantSound™ is the ability to use a microphone to communicate with GLaDOS. How it works is that GUIdows takes the sound from your microphone and sends an alternate stream to the genetic life portion of GLaDOS so it can respond back with helpful advice. With [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]], Your life will never be the same again, also included is the program to play the future of multimedia-era files, sometimes scientists want to [[lazy\|kick back and relax]]. And for those people we have the included [[Windows Media Player\|Media Player]], It can play ''video/audio'' and also has support for the [[Primitive\|Next-Generation]] [[MIDI]] format. And since it's integrated into GUIdows. GLaDOS can also [[American Idol\|judge]] your [[MP3\|songs]] and [[MPAA\|videos]]. Nagging you about how much she hates/loves them and sometimes she just closes the program just cause [[Kevin Federline\|she doesn't like what she sees]], it is seriously the future of multimedia as we know it. As you might get board with the Aperture Media Player, we have included a bunch of games designed to keep you busy, We have packed some of the most popular and top of the line games that everyone is playing currently. From [[Freecell]] to [[Solitaire]] to [[Hearts]] to [[Minesweeper]]. You'll be entertained for days on end. And that's not the best part, we've integrated GLaDOS into the games. So with GLaDOS on your side. She can comment on your [[You suck\|playing style]] and give you [[N00b\|helpful advice]] on how to play better. And that's the multimedia side in a stretch.

Admin: /* Essential Features */

Admin — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 10:53:18 GMT

Essential Features

←Older revision		Revision as of 10:53, 27 December 2007
Line 27:		Line 27:

	===Multimedia===		===Multimedia===
		+	[[Image:Merry_CHristmas.jpg\|thumb\|130px\|right\|The GUIdows flag. Very unique, original and inspiring.]]
	Multimedia is a growing process and with GUIdows, we wanted to make sure we captured all the audio, video, gaming, multimedia goodness you can handle, using a a new technology called [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]] technology, We'll be able to see better graphics and hear better audio. Instant3D™ allows for the first time to have better [[Photoshop\|image quality]] then [[OpenGL]] thanks to [[Voodoo\|hardware buffering]], To prove that, We put the best card in for it's time, The [[Voodoo\|ATI Rage 3D LT]] and it worked like butter. It also allows for more [[Easy\|complex research]] to happen since researchers can now simulate stuff in [[Universe\|3D space]]. It could also be used for [[wikipedia:Half-Life\|games]] but expect GLaDOS to tell you how much [[you suck]] and by using InstantSound™, We can deliver to you the crispiest sound that no operating system could top, by using dedicated audio streams. This can improve perform ace as the sound is being rendered by the sound processor instead of the CPU therefore taking less stress off of the CPU. What's also unique in InstantSound™ is the ability to use a microphone to communicate with GLaDOS. How it works is that GUIdows takes the sound from your microphone and sends an alternate stream to the genetic life portion of GLaDOS so it can respond back with helpful advice. With [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]], Your life will never be the same again, also included is the program to play the future of multimedia-era files, sometimes scientists want to [[lazy\|kick back and relax]]. And for those people we have the included [[Windows Media Player\|Media Player]], It can play ''video/audio'' and also has support for the [[Primitive\|Next-Generation]] [[MIDI]] format. And since it's integrated into GUIdows. GLaDOS can also [[American Idol\|judge]] your [[MP3\|songs]] and [[MPAA\|videos]]. Nagging you about how much she hates/loves them and sometimes she just closes the program just cause [[Kevin Federline\|she doesn't like what she sees]], it is seriously the future of multimedia as we know it. As you might get board with the Aperture Media Player, we have included a bunch of games designed to keep you busy, We have packed some of the most popular and top of the line games that everyone is playing currently. From [[Freecell]] to [[Solitaire]] to [[Hearts]] to [[Minesweeper]]. You'll be entertained for days on end. And that's not the best part, we've integrated GLaDOS into the games. So with GLaDOS on your side. She can comment on your [[You suck\|playing style]] and give you [[N00b\|helpful advice]] on how to play better. And that's the multimedia side in a stretch.		Multimedia is a growing process and with GUIdows, we wanted to make sure we captured all the audio, video, gaming, multimedia goodness you can handle, using a a new technology called [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]] technology, We'll be able to see better graphics and hear better audio. Instant3D™ allows for the first time to have better [[Photoshop\|image quality]] then [[OpenGL]] thanks to [[Voodoo\|hardware buffering]], To prove that, We put the best card in for it's time, The [[Voodoo\|ATI Rage 3D LT]] and it worked like butter. It also allows for more [[Easy\|complex research]] to happen since researchers can now simulate stuff in [[Universe\|3D space]]. It could also be used for [[wikipedia:Half-Life\|games]] but expect GLaDOS to tell you how much [[you suck]] and by using InstantSound™, We can deliver to you the crispiest sound that no operating system could top, by using dedicated audio streams. This can improve perform ace as the sound is being rendered by the sound processor instead of the CPU therefore taking less stress off of the CPU. What's also unique in InstantSound™ is the ability to use a microphone to communicate with GLaDOS. How it works is that GUIdows takes the sound from your microphone and sends an alternate stream to the genetic life portion of GLaDOS so it can respond back with helpful advice. With [[DirectX\|InstantZ™]], Your life will never be the same again, also included is the program to play the future of multimedia-era files, sometimes scientists want to [[lazy\|kick back and relax]]. And for those people we have the included [[Windows Media Player\|Media Player]], It can play ''video/audio'' and also has support for the [[Primitive\|Next-Generation]] [[MIDI]] format. And since it's integrated into GUIdows. GLaDOS can also [[American Idol\|judge]] your [[MP3\|songs]] and [[MPAA\|videos]]. Nagging you about how much she hates/loves them and sometimes she just closes the program just cause [[Kevin Federline\|she doesn't like what she sees]], it is seriously the future of multimedia as we know it. As you might get board with the Aperture Media Player, we have included a bunch of games designed to keep you busy, We have packed some of the most popular and top of the line games that everyone is playing currently. From [[Freecell]] to [[Solitaire]] to [[Hearts]] to [[Minesweeper]]. You'll be entertained for days on end. And that's not the best part, we've integrated GLaDOS into the games. So with GLaDOS on your side. She can comment on your [[You suck\|playing style]] and give you [[N00b\|helpful advice]] on how to play better. And that's the multimedia side in a stretch.

Admin at 08:43, 27 December 2007

Admin — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 08:43:13 GMT

Show changes

Tom at 07:01, 24 December 2007

Tom — Mon, 24 Dec 2007 07:01:19 GMT

New page

[[Image:BSSOD.png|right|thumb|375px|Typical Windows XP desktop showing default Truth Theme]]

[[Image:Windows XP.jpg|thumb|right|Microsoft increased their antipiracy efforts by making their disc labels harder to replicate, as seen in this Genuine Windows XP Home Edition disc.]]
'''Windows XP\''', aka Codename [[Lemon]], aka '''[[Teabagging]] Software''' aka NT 5.1.2600 is a <s>stable</s> (yet to come stable release) operating system, it was [[Microsoft]]'s best system to date. But it sucks anyway. It had ''no'' graphical [[user]] interface, compared to the bloatware known as [[MS-DOS]]. It manages to take up a whole 40 GB on one's hard disk and its file system can interact fully with more dominant operating systems such as OS/2 Warp and [[Linux]]. It has mouse support, although penguins are as yet not supported or even liked. The "XP" in ''Windows XP'' stands for ''"e'''X'''tra '''P'''enis"'' (or '''Vagina-Penis System'''), though it has been suspected to be an ideogram for a face with a tongue sticking out.

Production of XP began in 1945, and was completed in 1995. However, Microsoft realized it did not crash enough, so they worked on making it vulnerable, bug-filled, and, overall, a huge load of steaming shit in a blue (or green) box.
They even fill up the system with this funny error messages.

This radical change in [[software]] design came about when it was felt [[Microsoft]] needed a change of leadership, so they sacked Steve Ballmer and [[Bill Gates]], then hired Hull University's Phil Costin as chairman and Jonty the Electric Hamster as CEO. MS also abandoned their Web browser integration policy in favor of placing the less-than-cost-effective [[Mozilla Firefox]] and Opera combination in its place. This was criticized at first, but now users have become used to being less well-off financially.

With the lack of GUI in Microsoft's main product, this meant a lot of their existing software went under a radical redesign. For instance, Microsoft Office 2003, with the exception in the rise in office workers cursing [[Undictionary:Cunty Bollock Chops|cunty bollock chops]] in regards to its performance, contains absolutely no features that [[some people]] would see as pointless and it only require up a few gigabytes of RAM to operate.

[[Windows]] XP also contains a partial implementation of the ''UNIX'' OS, making it more stable and easier to handle for the average home user. Although Microsoft states that this is the "WSFU" feature, further investigation shows that that feature is actually called "Windows Shut the F*** Up" and serves to decrease stability of instant messaging programs, including Microsoft's own Windows Messenger. It has known affiliations with [[Darth Vader]]{{cn}}. (WARNING: comment may be very true)

It is the only version of Windows known not to include the feature that has been a hallmark of Windows since 3.0, the blue screen appearing every 5 minutes, better known as Microsoft 5-minute BlueScreen Technology.

==Tutorial to Windows XP==
[[Image:XP Desktop.JPG|thumb|right|200px|Typical Windows XP desktop with the default "Azul" background.]]
Hi! Today I will teach you how to make [[Your mom|your mamma]]'s home-baked [[Apple]] pie, but also how to install your Windows XP [[software]]. First, insert a floppy disk in the floppy disk drive '''(you should never attempt to insert a floppy disk in a 56X CD-ROM drive, as floppy disk shrapnel hurts)'''. Then, press on the I/O button on your [[computer]]. At this step, you should start to smell burning [[flesh]]; yours. The screen will turn [[black]], and [[nonsense]] character strings will appear from [[nowhere]]. You will be asked if you want to use the CD-ROM drive. As your installation program is on a [[CD]] instead of 1453 floppy disks, press '''Y''' on your [[keyboard]]. You will immediately notice your [[keyboard]] is inverted (or else it would be too easy) as '''N''' will appear instead of '''Y'''. As they will ask you to insert the 1st of the 1453 floppy disks, press again on the I/O button on your computer. Start again, but press on '''N''' instead of '''Y'''. Insert the Windows XP [[CD]] in the CD-ROM drive. Next, type in '''A:\\>d:''' (another useless [[nonsense]] character string that really works: try it on your [[computer]]) and then, press Enter on your [[keyboard]]. Then, type in '''D:\\>setup.exe''' on your [[keyboard]]. The installation program will start. After several days (even with a fast [[CPU]]), the installation will finish. Your desktop should appear. Press on the Start icon of your desktop, then press on Run. A window will open. Type in '''cmd''' and press on Enter. A black MS-DOS windows will open. Type in '''format c:''' and press on Enter on your [[keyboard]]. Answer '''Y''' to the question they ask you (as your [[keyboard]] should not longer be inverted). Your Windows XP [[software]] is being uninstalled from your [[computer]]. ''Thank God, we're almost finished.'' As you see what you just done, you should start to scream, to cry or to freak out. Finally, become completely and utterly irritated with your OS, slam out some beta code and install that instead. Next week, learn how to install [[Microsoft Office]] correctly and how to make your grandma's [[Tracking Cookie]].

==Sucking Pack 3==
[[Image:Windows_XP_SP3.png|thumb|left|200px|A Windows XP with [[crap|Sucking Pack]] 3 installed. How boring is it.]]
[[crap|Sucking Packs]](SP) are distributed by the [[Microsoft]]. SP provide security holes-opening fixes and thus your computer will be safe.

Microsoft promised that, the following things will be added in SP3 for the Windows XP:
*[[CIA|Information Security Center]] 2.0, with the new [[Windows Defender]] 2.0 and comments, also [[Typo]] 1.0...
*"Aaero" will be installed, which is a color scheme similar to [[Windows Vista]].
*Internet Explorer will be updated to a [[Mozilla Firefox]]-like [[Internet Explorer]] 7, which supports [[InActiveY]] applets.
*Icons, images are more detailed. At least anti-alias in the [[Bliss]] wallpaper.
*Updated the dates in the About screen.<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.cuteftp.com/cuteftppro/history.aspx|title=CuteFTP 8.0.6 changelog}}</ref>
*Security holes opened.

SP3 is in Beta test period and still being developed secretly. Too bad that the full-of-typo SP3 has been leaked out and many people have installed them. Microsoft still name their Sucking Pack as [[Service Pack]] which is also a typo.

Different from SP2, SP3 provides a more easy way to get annoyed by the system, using the [[killing|User Account Control]].

==Future versions==
[[Image:Error Message3.png|thumb|right|400px|Just when you thought Windows XP couldn't get any worse...]]
[[Image:The_best_pc.png|right|thumb|200px|And cue the fireworks...]]
[[Image:Windows XPista Alpha 1.PNG|right|thumb|250px|Yet, this is a XPista preview, so how cute they ARE!!!]]
*Windows HP

This will be a variant named in memory of the leaked HP sauce incident. The price of this version will be higher than any other piece of software ever sold, but this version will be available under a hire-purchase agreement. {{cn}}

*Windows MANA
*Windows DEX
*Windows AIDS
*Windows HIV
*Windows XD
*Windows X(
*Windows XPista
*Windows 8)
*Windows ROFL
*Windows STFU
*Windows LOL
*Windows FU
*Windows Bonghorn
*Windows All UR BASE R BELONG 2 US
*Windows (A LINUX EXTENSION - OPTIONAL ADD ON)
*Windows SHUT
*SMASHED Windows
*Windows CRASH
*WIN WTF
*Windows virus

==See Also==
*[[Fisher Price]]
*[[Microsoft]]
*[[Windows]]
*[[Apple Computer]]
*[[Windows PX]]
*[[RAM]]
*[[Porno]]
*[[12 Fundamental Cheeses|Cheese Manufacturing]]
*X out your privacy
*[[Windows XP Pirate Edition]]
*[[BSoD|Blue Screen of Death]]

{{windows}}
[[Category:Operating Systems]]

*[[Windows crash]]

==How to Secure Windows XP==
Switch to [[Linux]].

==References==

<references />
{{Reflist}}

==External Links==
[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/182629 Windows HIV]<br>
[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/186896 Windows AIDS]<br>
<s>[http://www.microsoft.com/windows Windows]</s> ''Who... Who was joking? This doesn't exist.''

[[es:Windows xD]]
[[fi:Windows XP]]
[[ja:Windows ΧΡ]]
[[ru:Windows XP]]
[[zh:晕到死�?��?]]
[[zh-tw:暈到死�?��?]]