Admin at 20:17, 21 December 2007

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{{jesus Approved}}
[[Image:Cheesus.jpg|thumb|left|130px|Cheddar Cheesus preaching to the crackers]]
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{{QNL|80% of your daily recomended value of faith. ITS CHEEZUS!!!|[[Oscar Wilde]]|[[Cheese Jesus]]}}

{{Q|He shed His [[Milk]] for your sins|Christian Right|Cheese Jesus}}

{{QNL|Jesus? Who's that?|[[Cheese Jesus|Cheesus]]|[[Jesus]]}}

'''Cheese Jesus''' (most popularly known as '''Cheddar Cheesus''' or '''Cheesus Chrust''') is a popular [[action figure]] sold by [[Pizza Hut]]. It is classed as a minor [[Jesus|Jesii]] due to slightly undersatisfactory quantities of [[bejesus]] and, as such, can only perform seven minor miracles. However, that's still seven more than [[pepperoni]] can muster.

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==The Seven Chesii==

[[Image:CheesyJesus.jpg|thumb|right|Even Jesus loved the [[12 Fundamental Cheeses]]!]]
There were seven versions of the Cheesy Jesii, each able to perform its own miracle action. The versions are as follows:
* Cheddar Cheesus - ''savory original''
* Edam Adam (and Eve) - ''sinfully delicious''
*American Allah - ''exploding with flavor''
*Gouda Buddha - ''mellow and mild''
*Mozzarella Moses - ''pairs the red sauce''
*Pepper-Jack Jesus - ''sliced and spicy''
*Savior Swiss - ''the holiest of cheesus''

== Ingredients ==
Pizza Hut refuses to give out the full ingredients of the Cheese Jesii, fearing that might bring on the [[Second Coming]] a bit earlier than expected, preventing them from releasing the new, improved ''Stuffed Cheesus Chrust™'' next year. However, a slice of Cheddar Cheesus has been analysed by scientists with nothing better to do, and they have discovered that the principle ingredient of all Cheese Jesii is, in fact, [[cheese]]. This scientific revelation was so important that five of the six scientists working on this project were promoted into upper management a day after the release of these findings.

== Six Degrees of Cheesus ==
#Cheesism is not the religion that worships the God, Cheese Jesus. [[Christianity]] is.
#When Cheesus was born, he was given different types of cheese from the 3 Blind Mice.
#They have made many movies about Cheesus, including The Cheesetrix, where the main character, Cheo, is The Cheesen One.
#Because he is very wealthy with fridges and fridges full of valuble Cheese, he can afford to drive around in his car called a Cherrari.
#One of Cheesus' best friends, Choa, built an Ark because there was a flood of Mascapone, so he got 2 of every cheese and saved them
#Cheesus' arch nemisis is The Chevil, who lives in a hole underground. If a Cherson was evil, they go to Chell.
'''Popular Cheesus Promotional Graphics:'''
<gallery>Image:Cheestrix_copy.jpg|
Image:CHerrari_copy.jpg|
Image:Chevil_copy.jpg|
Image:Cheesus_by_modestmus.jpg|
Image:Chesus.jpg|
Image:I_love_cheesus_tshirt.jpg|
Image:CheeseChapel.jpg|
</gallery>

== Cheesus in Christianity ==
Cheesus was said to be the second person in the Divine Trinity, and also the Messiah ([[Greek]]: Chrust) prophesied in the [[Old Testament]] (or [[Hebrew]] [[Bible]]). Cheesus did not die on the cross - instead, he was impaled on a cocktail stick, onto which a [[pineapple]] was placed, as if to mock him. Cheesus was brought back to life in a mysterious incident involving a ball of [[Edam]], a small wheel of [[Jarlsberg]], and a spotty man from [[Scunthorpe]] called Gerald.

Other historians have been quick in their attempts to debunk this theory. For a start, the documents do not note what kind of cheese Cheesus was God ''of'' - nor do they explain why someone called Gerald from Scunthorpe was present at his [[Easter|resurrection]]. However, there is one thing that every historian is sure of - the new, improved ''Stuffed Cheesus Chrust™'' is going to be out of this world! Get your Cheese Jesii from Pizza Hut, without delay!
{{12 Cheeses}}

{{Role models}}
{{Jesii}}
[[Category:Cheese]]

Cheesus - Revision history

Admin at 20:17, 21 December 2007