Go get Shelby. Make her your sandwich bitch--or "sandbitch" (you snicker)

From Create Your Own Story

"Why would I want to make you a sandwich?" Shelby whines, as you drag her back to your dorm.

"Because... I... you're a woman, so..."

"What's that supposed to mean? You're a sexist! A dirty, dirty sexist!"

You sigh, and using your manly intellect, you deduce that she is not in the mood to make you a sandwich. You're going to have to offer her something in return. Ugh--relationships are hard-ass work, bro!

"Shelby, if you make me a penis-kicking sandwich, I will...

• ...have sex with anyone you want me to--even a guy. Even a teacher. Even an old, smelly teacher guy!"
• ...eat said sandwich, and then your succulent snatch!"
• ...jack off in the university's library!"
• ...squeeze out a cleveland steamer on Tim's chest!"