Jump out of your bedroom window.

From Create Your Own Story

You open your bedroom window and leap out. The four-foot fall to the ground doesn't do more than knock the wind out of you.

Well, that was a dumb idea. You're just glad you're not Polish so you don't reinforce the stereotype. For some reason you can't get the joke out of your head about how the suicide rate is low in Poland because it's hard to jump out of a basement window.

You wander aimlessly for a few minutes. Then you stop and think. You need a plan to off yourself that's better than the idea of jumping out the window of a room on the ground floor.

• Walk about 3 miles into the ghetto and hope to be the victim of a murder
• Walk to the railroad tracks and jump in front of a train
• Walk to the bridge over the river and jump off the bridge