User talk:GirlOnGirlFan!

From Create Your Own Story

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(Bleh, not my intention xD)
(Replaced content with 'Just clearing the page, it was very messy. GirlonGirlFan')
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What, no love for any other writer on this site? Like my most complete (Yes, not that complete, but still...) [[Dirty Me]]?
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Just clearing the page, it was very messy.
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[[GirlonGirlFan]]
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Anyways, I am off track, and being needy...[[Continue fucking Kate]]. You need to add the status and category, even if it is still a WIP. Those need to be added the first time you create the page. You can change or update if needed later, but they need to be there from the first step. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 04:10, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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Hmm, you keep making new talk pages xD
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A user talk page is located at their name. In this case, mine is at: [[User talk:DirtyMeStoryTime]], not "talk:name". No worries, you will get the hang of it. Also, there is a menu box at the top of the edit box. One of them is signature. You can click that to automatically add your signature. Your signature itself will link to your user page where they can read about you, and can click discussion tab to leave you a message.
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Hmm, my parents have never caught me masturbating in real life, but my neighbors have. Not sure where in my story you are referencing. Are you talking about the dream sequence? The concept was to let people have a way to get a bit erotic without diving in to it. Sort of the "Wet dream that dad is intruding on". And the main character wasn't masturbating in the dream, she was having a generic "erotic" dream that turns into the cliche "you are naked in front of the class" option that has an outside element intruding. I don't honestly remember the character waking up and finding out that she was masturbating with her dad standing there xD You might need to let me know the page title, and I will check and let you know what that page was about.
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I have many elements in my story that come from my real life experiences, and many elements that come from my fantasies. Some others, I just include to include something for the reader, especially since I know probably 80%+ of my readers are male. Sadly, many of those are probably where my writing gets worse. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 05:00, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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Honestly, it is not really my style, but I did notice some problems with run on sentences, a few mistakes, etc. Not saying it is bad or good, just mentioning because...
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One problem I have is, I need to improve. I ask people for ways which my writing is not doing good, help show me what mistakes I am making, things like that. But, this is my problem: most people are not very good at actually correcting my writing. They might fix a misspelled word, maybe add a missed word. But mostly, the feedback I get is "Wow, that was hot!". Okay, I love hearing feedback, but...
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For example, I might find I am using one word too much, so it becomes repetitive. Or maybe I did a poor job describing something, or misused a word. Maybe I could find a better word to express myself, or I am not making the reader feel what I am trying to get them to feel. But, I do not get this kind of feedback (As I mentioned above). So, I am not trying to tell you that your writing is good or bad. lol, where was I going. Sorry, sometimes I get rather sidetracked xD
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Basically, don't take it personally if I say "I see this problem" or something. As they say, do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
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And yes, I talk this much in real life too xD --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 14:58, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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Oh I wouldn't worry. I am not saying it is good or bad. When I read it I saw some mistakes that need fixed, but didn't see a major issue either. I doubt he will delete it. I was just mentioning some mistakes I saw and that honestly, I any day if it was good or bad. It didn't turn me on, but I am not the normal reader here. I am probably one of the few women on this site so I find many things that do not really do much for me since many of the author's write in a very... Male... East. I guess that is there only way I can describe it. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 15:12, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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I am putting my son to bed, but would you like me to fix it for you once he is asleep so you can see where I am seeing the mistakes? Remember, even professional writers need editors.--[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 15:19, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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My son was being a pain and did not want to go to sleep...
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I have made some changes to eliminate the run-on sentences, some improper verb tense, and created some paragraphs. I didn't overall change the flow, but if I get the chance, I can go to the talk page and show how I would re-write while keeping your basic elements. All I am really trying to show is how you can make it flow better. My writing style is different, which is one reason I do not try to change the overall parts, just make them work together better. Anyways, keep an eye out to see if the talk page goes blue. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 17:09, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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Okay, I have put more detailed writing critique on the [[Talk:Continue fucking Kate]]. But, it is written in my flavor. I will let you look it over to think about how I view the flow and the common problems. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 18:00, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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Umm, o.O
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That wasn't my intention xD lol, I am trying to help you become better. I am not the best writer myself either, I do okay with what I know, but I don't really do the best in other ways. Not trying to make you feel like you are not good, trying to help show how I see a story flow. My writing is not the same as other's writing. For example, Platypus tends to do small sections, while I try to get overly descriptive. He is much more focused. btw, Platypus probably has not answered because he has had some real life issues he has been dealing with. He will be on still time to time. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 18:21, 1 April 2016 (UTC)
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Revision as of 18:31, 1 April 2016

Just clearing the page, it was very messy. GirlonGirlFan

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