User talk:Darky
From Create Your Own Story
Please make sure to include the title of the story as a category on each page you post. If you don't know how to add categories, please review the Tutorial, especially Basic page format.--Platypus 18:58, 2 March 2016 (UTC)
Sorry to bother you but why is the CYOA or CYOS in third-person point of view instead of second-person point of view? Also, Do you mind if I edit this as well? Just as help. Also, sorry for the later edits. (Time Travel.)-User:Fredhot16
Erm, I just saw your latest edit. Are you sure you want to keep the second option and not change it into something that doesn't sound like the reader had missed out a on lot? I mean, are you trying to say that NOTHING else might have happened that day? The whole day was a waste?-User:Fredhot16
So is it just a team of three or are there more that don't have names?-User:Fredhot16
Allow me to quote Linkara: "What the hell is this?...No, seriously. What in the hell is this thing?!" I mean, I thought this would a fun little CYOA about LARPers but the comments about the other guys wanting to have fun with the only girl nearby, the description of Kelly in the "Dan takes Kelly to the hideout" page, and the little note about how he would how no mercy...What the hell kind of story are you writing?! It sounds like it's about to take a turn into Adult CYOA territory! Why the hell are these people (Dan, Tim, Pete) such creeps!? Why doesn't anybody have a last name!? And what kind of game is this LARP supposed to be about, anyway? It involves barbarians and Capture the Flag? -User:Fredhot16
Dirty Me's talk
I fixed some of the grammar on Kelly gets caught by Dan, but there is still a problem with the last sentence, and I am not sure how to fix. Please check Talk:Kelly gets caught by Dan for my feedback. --Dirty Me 02:41, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
I think the problem is, my writing style is very different, and my perspective is different. I am a girl, so I write from that perspective (Although aimed towards male readers), so my language and methods of description is different. I would worry I am changing too much of your content, that is why I just tried to fix some specific grammar issues and clarify a little, rather than rewriting it.--Dirty Me 08:22, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
Okay, I went through all the pages you contributed to and made some changes. I tried to only make grammar and cosmetic changes. Lots of things I can see that can be written better, but then it would be in my words, not yours. I left you one note on Talk:Cassie will help Dan that you will want to check, since I am not sure what you were trying to say. Of course, you can review my changes and reverse them if you do not feel they are what you want.--Dirty Me 08:48, 15 March 2016 (UTC)
