On a Boat

From Create Your Own Story

You lift your greasy head from your greasy pillow and pry your eyes open. This is not how P-Diddy feels (note to self: drinking 18 Smirnov Ices at the club makes you wake up feeling more like Dirt Nasty than P-Diddy). You pop two painkillers that you find on your dresser which give you the strength to shower and then, feeling so fresh and so clean realize you want to PARTY but need to fuel up on Sugar Bang cereal first. That's when it happened - a coupon came tumbling out of the box. A free boat ride for three!?!?! You had seen this on YouTube a million times and sprang to your feet to tell your buddy about the boat, chastise a lesser buddy, and mysteriously invite T-Pain. Then you realize that you live in your mom's guest room and are painfully alone at the breakfast nook with an empty box of Sugar Bang.

Do you:

• post a kraigslist ad for a buddy
• go to the grocery store to buy more Sugar Bang in case the next one contains a buddy
• go to the convention for people who need buddies which is being held today
• call your mom to ask if she wants to hang out later