Masochist me/Carriage

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Revision as of 04:28, 21 March 2017

I sat down in the room, between the two other women who were training to be escorts.

The woman who walked in forced me to do a double take. She was elegant, refined. She walked at a stately pace and held herself in a way that radiated both strength and femininity. And, she had a look about her that almost shouted 'harsh school mistress'.

"Today, you will learn how to carry yourself. How to present yourself, and how to pay attention to your partner's body language." Even her tone brooked no nonsense.

Some prefer direct eye contact for a more intimate experience.

From: lifehacker.com/a-scientific-guide-to-the-perfect-first-date-1443210946

This means that mimicry is a good thing to look out for when you're on a date with someone. This might be them subtly crossing their legs after you do or if they put their hand to their chin after you. The New York Times breaks it down like so:

“When you’re being mimicked in a good way, it communicates a kind of pleasure, a social high you’re getting from the other person, and I suspect it activates the areas of the brain involved in sensing reward,” [neuroscientist Dr. Jean Decety] said.

Of course, it's a thin line between a charming mimic and purposeful persuasion. Don't go overboard trying to mimic the person you're on a date with or watching to see if they mimic you. Doing so will probably make you come across as a creepy mime.



Psychology Today breaks down the obvious signs you might accidentally give and offers this advice:

Don’t assume an unattractive pose. That means that men should not pretend to a macho style where they strut about and assume a truculence as a way of looking strong. Women should not seem aloof. It comes across as snobbery. Neither should either men or women pretend sophistication. I think even those who have been around the world a few times and know a great deal about a great number of things should not present themselves that way if possible. It is intimidating rather than appealing.

In the context of a first date, it's also important to keep your body language relaxed and comforting. In a report published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, it's suggested that you keep your movements subdued at first. Remember that the person across from you is essentially a stranger, so use small gestures, slower movements, and don't crowd them. Once you're comfortable together (and you're no longer seen as a threat) you can make faster, more animated gestures. Basically, show interest in what your date's saying and doing, but don't go all Kramer on them.

Others prefer the woman to be more passive, shy, flirtatious, or submissive

www.more.com/love-sex/dating/first-date-9-signs-hes-you

4. A Whispered Tone: If your date’s personal lowdown comes in the form of a softly-spoken tone, that’s a good sign. When a man talks in a low voice, he’s likely indicating that his words are for you only, said Greg Hartley, former Army Special Forces interrogator and author of I Can Read You Like a Book: How to Spot the Messages and Emotions People Are Really Sending With Their Body Language. Hartley spoke to msn.com regarding men’s sure-fire signals that prove they’re interested. “If he’s telling you something private or secret, it’s a good thing—guys don’t do that to women they’re not into,” he said. And women take note; this is the kind of move that works both ways.

5. Spread Legs: This implies an invitation of sorts, and it’s considered a primal move that men tend to do subconsciously. Datingtips.com says men do this to make themselves appear taller, hotter, and more attractive. It can be done sitting or standing, so if those legs are slightly ajar, it’s likely in your favor.

6. Relaxed Posture: Most of us, male or female, will keep close to our dates if we’re interested, avoiding a lot of space between us. But a relaxed posture can reflect a comfort level that provides a great sign. A man may pull the suave upright stance and swagger to lure a woman in, but when he’s at ease and having a good time, he’ll likely be all rounded shoulders and soft-head tilts.

7. Pointed Toes in Your Direction: It may seem like a minor gesture, but if a person (particularly a man) is pointing his toes and/or body in your direction on a date, things are going well. Males generally point their bodies in the direction of the women they like to let them know they’re attracted to them. This is a particularly helpful tip if you’re in a group setting and the man is generally always facing in your direction. It may imply he’s trying to single you out in a crowd with his attention.

9. Highlighting the Best Attributes: If your date isn’t touching you, she may be touching, er, herself. Whether a woman is running her hands through her hair or a man is flexing his muscles, we all tend to inadvertently highlight our best attributes in front of someone we’re into. If she’s drawing attention to her lips, it’s a solid sign of attraction; if he’s got his thumbs tucked into his pants pockets … well, you get the drift.

www.wikihow.com/Sit-Like-a-Lady

1. Stand in front of your seat as close as you can. By starting out close to the chair, you will have less work to do and are much less likely to expose yourself or miss your mark and fall.

At most formal functions, it is customary for a gentleman to help you be seated. He will pull out your chair, wait for you to stand in front of it, and then nudge the chair forward to touch the back of your legs. This is sometimes done by your date, a waiter, or another man seated nearby.

2. Put your knees together. Make sure both your knees and most of your legs are lined up and squeezed next to each other. One leg should not be in front of the other. By sitting down with your legs together, you will keep your undergarments from showing, no matter how short your skirt may be.

3. Ease down gently. Do not bend forward; make sure to keep your torso straight. Keeping your knees together, sit down smoothly by bending your knees. Your calves will naturally tilt forward, which is a position you will want to hold.

Try not to use your hands for balance. Keep your arms either straight down or slightly bent at the elbow.

4. Smooth your skirt under you. If you are wearing a skirt or dress, it may have become rumpled while you sat down. Sitting will also have raised its hemline. If you don't want your skirt looking rumpled or shorter than it actually is, smooth it down gently with your hands.

5. Decide how to place your feet. You have two main options for your feet: flat on the ground or crossed at the ankles. If you are short enough that your feet don't touch the floor, be sure to go with the ankle-cross. When crossing your ankles, be sure to do so with your knees still together. There should be no space between your ankles.

6. Angle your legs. If your legs are long or you've chosen not to cross your ankles, you will likely need to angle your knees to either your left or right. Such placement will make you look less stiff and more feminine. You do not need to maintain this angle for the duration of the event. In fact, it is polite to shift your knees towards the person you are speaking to.

7. Sit up straight. Do not lean back into your chair. For formal occasions, it's most appropriate to sit in the center of the seat with your back not in contact with the chair.

Likewise, do not lean forward and slouch in your chair.

8. Place your hands in your lap. When not in use, keep your hands folded or holding a clutch. Rest them just above your thigh. However, if you are attending a formal dinner in France, be sure to place your hands on the table on either side of the plate instead. There, it is considered rude to place your hands underneath the table on your lap.

1. Ease into your chair with your knees together. Keep your torso straight without leaning forward. While you will eventually cross your legs, the act of sitting down is identical to the one used for maintaining traditional ladylike posture.

Keep in mind that crossing your legs at the knee is much less modest than keeping your legs parallel. It will both emphasize your legs while raising your skirt's hemline.

2. Place your hands in your lap. Once you are seated, fold your hands and place them on your lap between your legs. Maintain this placement when your hands are not in use. This position will also weigh your skirt down, preventing you from flashing your undergarments while crossing your legs.

3. Move your right leg to the left. Begin by raising your right thigh slightly. Then, place your right calf in front of your left. Be sure to keep your thighs together. Spreading your legs, even when adjusting in your seat, is traditionally considered unladylike. Also, even with your hands in your lap, spreading your legs runs the risk of momentarily exposing your underwear.

4. Position your right calf over your left. Your right knee should now be directly on top of your left knee. Your calves should be tight together, forming a diagonal with your feet pointing towards either your right or your left. You will not be able to have a straight up-and-down leg placement with both feet on the floor in this position.

5. Maintain a straight line with both legs. Your right and left calves should remain as parallel and as closely lined up to each other as possible. Be sure that your legs remain firmly together while you sit. Keep your toes pointed downward.

Remember to always sit up with your torso straight.

6. Switch legs gracefully if necessary. At some point while sitting, you may want to switch positions so that the opposite leg crosses over the other. This can be done if you are quick and graceful enough but should be avoided if you are wearing a particularly short skirt. Simply uncross your legs so that they are in the same position they were in right after you first sat down. Then, simply move the chosen leg over the other to return to a crossed position.

Remember to make sure your hands are in your lap while uncrossing and recrossing your legs.

www.fashionwalkafrica.com/7-classy-and-attractive-ways-to-sit-and-stand-like-a-lady/

1. CROSS YOUR LEGS AT THE KNEE

When you’re sitting down, you should cross your legs at the knees, especially if you’re wearing a skirt or a dress. If you’re flexible enough, then you should cross your legs a second time by wrapping your foot around the back of your ankle. It’ll make you look elegant while showing your man just how much you can bend your body.

2. STAND IN AN S-CURVE

When you’re standing, you shouldn’t slouch. However, it’s fine for you to lean on one leg and occasionally switch your weight to the other leg. While you’re doing this, you should pop your hip in order to place emphasis on your cute curves. You can even place a hand on your hip if you’d like. Just refrain from crossing your arms, because it can make you look standoffish.

3. ROLL BACK YOUR SHOULDERS

Since you were a child, you’ve been told to sit up straight and keep your shoulders back. The part about your shoulders is especially important now that you’re older, because it’s a way to emphasize your chest. If you don’t mind a man liking you for your body, then make sure that he’s able to see how gorgeous your ASSETS are.

4. POINT YOUR TOES

This one isn’t just for men with foot fetishes. It will appeal to any guy who loves a lady with gorgeous legs. All you have to do is point your toes out when you’re sitting cross-legged. It sounds like a silly little thing to do, but it can actually highlight the shape of your legs and draw attention to the length of them.

5. DANGLE YOUR SHOE

If you want your man to really look at your legs, then you can dangle your shoe from your foot while you sit. To do this, you simply need to pop the heel of your foot out of your shoe and let it dangle from the edge of your foot by your toes.

6. ARCH YOUR BACK

This is one of the most important tips to follow when you want to look sexy. After all, when you arch your back, your booty and breasts will stick out more. Since those are two attractive features on a woman, it’s a great way to stand when you want to draw attention to your body.

7. KEEP YOUR FEET TOGETHER

If you’re worried about getting spider veins from sitting with your legs crossed all day, you can sit with your legs pressed together. Just make sure that you keep your feet together and your hands on top of your knees.