Jim Bones
From Brass Goggles
Revision as of 18:18, 27 October 2008
The cook aboard the HMS Ziggurat, Jim Bones was a bartender from San Francisco until he was coaxed on board by Captain Iphigenia McCannon and Adelaide Braun.
Early History
James Kingsley Bones was born in San Francisco during the height of the gold rush. His father, a slick snake oil salesman also named James Kingsley, bedded his mother, Scarlet Lacey Laurey, a saloon girl, in a wild one-night stand. Not allowed to hang around the saloon as a young boy, Jim Bones was sent to an orphanage in nearby Arlock, California to stay and learn. Eventually, he returned to San Francisco, working as a general store clerk before moving on to own the bar / saloon his mother had worked in, a class establishment named the Whiskey Slide.
Life Aboard the Ziggurat
In the early 1890s, the Whiskey Slide encountered a bar brawl like no other, in which the entire saloon was knocked unconscious and all the schnapps had been stolen. This brawl was a direct result of the Captain Iphigenia McCannon and her Navigator, Adelaide Braun, being very stupid indeed.
Bones complained to the sheriff, who examined his saloon, then slapped a charge on him for illegal sale of alcohol. Bones bemoaned his fate for two long years, delaying the sheriff's charges, until, in 1892, McCannon showed up again.
He immediately confronted her for ruining his life, and demanded payback. Using a series of confusing and manipulative debating skills, McCannon somehow convinced him to take a job as cook aboard the HMS Ziggurat.
Rumor has it he and McCannon are secretly courting, though most people who you tell this to will snort derisively and call you a loony.
