Spoiler
From Superdickery
A character from DC comics. Real name Stephanie Brown.
Her biography for dummies:
Steph: My dad is an evil supervillain, so I will dress up as a superhero to fight him!
Robin: You're cute! Let's team up and date!
Steph: OK.
Robin: I love you, but I hope you're not too disappointed, for me it's "No sex before marriage".
Steph: Ah, that's all right. By the way, I'm pregnant.
Robin: ?!?
Robin: I love you, but I will never tell you my real name or show you my face without mask.
Batman: Hey Spoiler, I want you to bring this message to Robin. His name is Tim Drake. Here is his address.
Robin: How could you tell my real name to the girl I love? I quit being your sidekick!
Batman: Sure, sure. Then I will train Spoiler instead.
Steph: Hurray! Now I'll become a real superhero!
Batcave: You're not allowed to enter. Go home.
Steph: Since Batman has suddenly quit training me and locked me out, I'll start stalking him till he gives me an explanation.
Batman: You don't have the skills or the talent to be in my team. Go home.
Steph: But...but...
Robin: My father has discovered that I'm Robin. I've promised him to quit superheroing. Oh, and I've got a new girlfriend.
Batman: Hm. Where do I get a new Robin?
Steph: Hey, I mysteriously managed to enter the Batcave in my self-made new Robin costume!
Batman: Welcome in the team, Robin!
Steph: Hurray! It's a dream come true!
Batman: In our last mission you disobeyed one of my orders. You're fired.
Steph: But...but...
Steph: I'll show him I'm a real hero! I'll start a gang war in which hundreds of people will die so he understands I can contribute to make Gotham City a safer place for everybody!
Black Mask: Hey Batman! I've captured and tortured your last sidekick, the Spoiler! Now I'll kill her! Then I will be as famous as the Joker!
Batman: Excuse me, what? Who is this "Spoiler" you're talking about?
Black Mask:...
Steph: Ha! I've managed to free myself! I want to kill you, Black Mask! But that's something a hero doesn't do, right?
Black Mask: Take your time! Think about it carefully!
Steph: (thinking hard)
Black Mask (shoots her): Luckily, she didn't knock me unconscious before she started thinking!
Batman: Don't worry, Stephanie. I've found you! I'll take you to a hospital! Everything will be all right! Well, besides the fact that you are dying, of course.
Steph: But I will be remembered, won't I? I really was Robin? I will be part of the legend?
Batman (crosses fingers): Of course. (Manages not to start chuckling.)
Robin: Wow, what a gang war! But now everything's over, right? How's Steph doing?
Batman: Tim, that girl was a very bad influence. You should be glad she is not part of your life anymore.
Robin: What are you talking about? How is she?
Batman: She had to...leave. She didn't leave a message. I think it's all for the best.
Robin: What?
Batman: Oh, screw it, if you really want to know, she's ****ing dead.
Robin: Hm. Ah, well, in that case, let's just forget her.
- YEARS LATER
Robin: Hey, Batman! I just remembered Stephanie existed once!
Batman: You need to accept your loss, Tim. Move on, like I do.
Robin: ...
Batman: ...
Robin: So anyway, now I'm seeing her everywhere!
Batman: God, I need to put more drugs in his water.
Robin: Violet! You need to stop doing bad things! Plus, the outfit you wear is purple which reminds me of Spoiler. *cries*
Spoiler: Hi Tim!
Robin: AGGH! WHY ARE YOU WEARING SPOILER'S COSTUME? *attacks*
Spoiler: Wait, Tim, it's me!
TO BE CONTINUED.
IS CONTINUED.
Spoiler: I'm going to run away now.
Robin: Haha, I planted a bug on you while I was feeling you up- I mean attacking you.
Spoiler: Oh screw this. It's me, Steph.
Robin: *Glomps*
Batman: Um, I knew you were alive all along. See, that's why I ignored you. And you have no memorial.Really.
Steph: Right. Tim, kindly stop eating my face. I know you're dating like, two other girls.
Tim: Curses!
And then they all lived happily ever after until further notice when the next disaster happens where Steph will be blamed for world hunger and die while Tim listens to emo music and cries, possibly. Ot maybe inexplicably everything will be okay forever. I dunno.
