Superdickery - User contributions [en]

Wonder Woman

Platypus — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 15:56:03 GMT

Platypus:

[[Image:WonderWomanBatman.jpg|thumb|Wonder Woman standing on [[Batman]]'s face. He's obviously been listening to [[Solomon]]]] A woman who loves [[bondage]].

And killing people.

And, in [[Frank Miller]]'s [[Goddamn Batman]] series, a woman who derisively refers to men as 'sperm banks'. Right before making out with [[Superman]].
[[Category:Superheroes]]

Flash

Platypus — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 15:53:01 GMT

Platypus:

Superhero who frequently violates the most basic laws of physics. I mean come on, there's science fiction and then there's just silly. He stores his costume inside a ring for god's sake!
There are four Flashes in the DCU: Jay, Barry, Wally, and Bart. Barry died fighting the Anti-monitor in Crisis on Infinite Earths. Bart's dead, too, slaughtered by the Rogues, some of whom are sorry they did it.

Jay wears a steel helmet and is a member of the Justice Society.

DC eventually realized how many of the laws of physics Flash breaks, and invented the mystic Speed Force to account for them. All Speedsters, no matter what their origin was, tap into the Speed Force for their powers. The Speed Force works a lot like the Force in Star Wars.

"To flash" also means to reveal yourself in public. Is this a coincidence? I think not.

[[Category:Sockpuppets]]
[[Category:Superheroes]]

Supergirl

Platypus — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 15:43:41 GMT

Platypus:

[[Image:Supergirl.jpg|thumb| One of the many versions of Supergirl.]]A young, teenage female [[Superman]].

Spends ''way'' to much time with [[Superhorse]].

There's about 80 freakin' versions of the character, and damned if anyone knows which one they're using now. The most recent version of the character does, however, suck major balls. And not in the good way.
[[Category:Superheroes]]

Scotland

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:45:15 GMT

Platypus:

One of the few places on Earth where a man can wear a skirt in public and not look weird or out of place.

Also known for its cheapness. Originally the home of Scrooge McDuck.

Ireland

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:44:17 GMT

Platypus:

Land of [[drunk]]s, Lepreuchauns, and in theory, drunken Leprechauns.

Would you like to kiss ''my'' Blarney stone?

British

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:43:30 GMT

Platypus:

The British love tea and crumpets. All over the country, when people hear Big Ben chime out "Teatime!" they all stop whatever they're doing, and go and drink some tea and eat some crumpets.

The British don't have sex. They'll just mention it every now and then, and put it off until later.

The British also don't have drive-by shootings. They prefer drive-by [[arguments]].

The [[Welsh]] are an exception to all these rules, and the rest of the country hates them for it.

----
[[England]]
<br>[[Ireland]] (Just the northern part)
<br>[[Scotland]]
<br>[[Wales]]

England

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:43:08 GMT

Platypus:

A small country off the coast of France. It rains a lot there but the inhabitants don't mind because they believe their great comedy programs make up for the make they all have trench foot. English people are also noted for being better at playing villains in films than Americans, talking in weird accents and having bad teeth.

Noted English People

----

[[EspanolBot]]

[[Bravelybravesirrobin]]

[[Hostile]]

England

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:42:27 GMT

Platypus:

Czechs

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:41:35 GMT

Platypus:

Czechs hail from Czechoslovakia. Or Czech. Or Slovakia. Depending upon if the two countries are or are not united.

Czechs settled [[Texas]] before any other white man did, thus guaranteeing that the evil [[Welsh]] influence would not spread to Texas. Czechs are notable for being the people who invented kolaches. Texan Czechs are notable as being the people who turned kolaches into a snack, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They also made it so that kolaches weren't just a sweet dish, best suited for deserts. They crammed all sorts of stuff in there, not limited to, but especially meat. In order to do this, they had to completely change how the kolache looked. But you know what? It was worth it.

If a Texan claims to not like kolaches, he's probably from New York. Or California. Or some other meat hating, godless, hippie place like those. Although [[Jews]] shouldn't eat meat kolaches, since they're usually pork byproducts, it should be noted that Texas has what has to be the lowest Orthodox:Slacker Jew ratio in the world. Due to kolaches.

Aside from the many great acheivements of the Texan Czechs, the actual Czechs are also pretty awesome. They invented Böch, which the Europeans assure the Americans, is a good beer. Texas Czechs made an American version of this, called Shiner Böch, located in the town of Shiner. For an American beer, it's pretty damned good, though it is limited to Texas and some surrounding states. Which is probably why it stays good, instead of catering the pussies in New York, and California, and other alcohol hating, godless, hippie places like that. Shiner Böch has absolutely no advertising whatsoever, and is a must have at every Texas keg party.

The one problem with Czechs is that they tend to roll over for the [[Germans]].

Welsh

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:41:08 GMT

Platypus:

The home of [[kristianwilliams|Kris]].

Nothing here apart from sheep, pubs, take aways, and large, destructive all-male voice choirs. But he loves it.

The Welsh language is composed mostly of the letters 'c', 'r', 'y', and 'w'. When multiple Welsh get into an [[argument]], it is possible that the strange mixture caused by multiple people talking in that abhorrent language will summon the dark god, [[Cthulhu]].

Wales is also the world leader in animal bestiality jokes, just narrowly beating out Australia, New Zealand, and most of the southern United States.

It should be noted however, that the "most of the southern United States" mentioned above, is composed primarily of Irish, Scottish, and ''Welsh'' descendants. This does not include [[Texas]], which was settled by the [[Czechs]], and has been having a very large inflow of [[Mexicans]] over the last century.

Arguments

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:40:35 GMT

Platypus:

The act of debate, discussion or persuasion by reason.

Except in the context of Superdickery (and internet forums in general). In that case, it is defined as two or more parties posting ever-increasingly more stubborn and pig-headed opinions about an issue or entity, not realising that each post serves only to up their post count, and has no effect on the opnions or views of any participant in the argument.

Arguments, in worse case scenarios, will continue until a moderator locks the thread.

See also [[Achewood]], [[Claremont]] and [[Rad McAwesome]].

British

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:40:08 GMT

Platypus:

Blanket Ninja

Platypus — Mon, 28 May 2007 20:39:36 GMT

Platypus:

Blanket Ninja is the [[Superhero]] identity of [[Virgil]]. [[Virgie]] gave him this nickname as she was amused how he always pulled the blanket up past his nose when he was sleeping, or otherwise had something covering his eyes (usually an arm). The Blanket Ninja has not revealed any powers so far, but it's assumed that it involves blankets.

Sidekick

Platypus — Fri, 25 May 2007 01:07:18 GMT

Platypus:

A [[Superhero]]'s young apprentice.

Some see them as [[sexual partners]] for their heroes, but these are [[sick, depraved people]].

Watchmen

Platypus — Fri, 25 May 2007 01:05:36 GMT

Platypus:

One of the greatest pieces of literature in the medium of sequential art.

Japan

Platypus — Fri, 25 May 2007 01:04:35 GMT

Platypus:

==Origin of the Name==

Japan is a small island country that's located near the Sea of Japan. While you might think that the Sea of Japan is named after Japan, that isn't true. The Sea of Japan is named after a mispronuciation of the country's actual name. The island of Japan was named after a [[British]] rock group.

==Perverted Level==

Japan is notorious for having the largest amounts of perverts per capita in the entire world. Actually, if you seperated Japan into its four main islands, and used those instead of the actual country, the top 5 countries would be Hokkaido (Japan), Honshu (Japan), Kyushu (Japan), [[Germany]], and Shikoku (Japan)

==Why Japan is perverted==

Japan's pervertedness is easily explained. Honshu is shaped like an otter, Hokkaido looks like some weird mess of stuff, but also looks like a stingray if you look at it the right way. Kyushu looks like a malformed Africa, and Shikoku looks like a turd.

All in all, it looks like one of two things:

An otter that just took a shit while vomitting, and being chased by a Chibi [[Africa]].

A large ass stingray is being chased by a gigantic otter, which shits itself in fright as the entire continent of Africa chases it.

That's about twelve or thirteen fetishes right there, each of which has an actual term used to describe it, as well as mixtures of the other fetishes present.

==Technology==

Japan's technology is amazingly advanced. They make [[video games]] that last for hours on end, and have excellent graphics. Unfortunately those games are mostly text, with the occasional excellent graphic kind-of-moving in the background.

They are also great at producing CGI movies, and also short films to put into their video games while text isn't being displayed.

Japan has created excellent 3D films, such as Appleseed (The CGI one, not the regularly animated one), Final Fantasy: Advent Children, and Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within. While Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within was created by people in [[Hawaii]], a Japanese company sponsored them, so it is technically a Japanese creation. Proof of this is that the lead female character was drawn in a bikini to pose on the cover of a mens' magazine. Don't think that's proof? Well, apparently under the bikini she wasn't drawn as a mannequin, but rather as a fully anatomically correct woman. Considering how much trouble that'd take to re-model the character, it is most likely that all characters are anatomically correct under their clothing, and the animators whacked off to those numerous times.

A side note: The [[American]] team which was doing all the actual animation for the film made a recreation of Michael Jackson's Thriller music video, using only characters from the movie, and a background custom built for the music video. It's an easter egg in the DVD. Just be sure not to shove an actual Easter Egg into the DVD-ROM while trying to find it.

==Unique architectual designs==

Japan is renowned for trying to build large heavy things on water. For instance, they made an artificial island, and then put an airport on top. It is currently seeking.

Japan is also thinking about creating a super huge pyramid thing in Tokyo Bay, which would create an additional few thousand homes. Of course, most of the technology needed to build it is stuff that's only been theorized and not put into practical use, and half the homes would be destroyed if a tsunami hit.

==Other Crap==

Japan decided to modernize after an American sailed a whole lot of black steamboats over there, to show them how awesome technology is. The Japanese weren't as scared of the technology as they were of something that was colored black.

Japan has the second largest economy in the world. However, it is in depression, and has been for a decade or two. How the hell does that work?

Driving

Platypus — Fri, 25 May 2007 01:01:42 GMT

Platypus:

What Batman does with the [[Batmobile]]. Robin is never allowed to drive the Batmobile.

Other things which are driven: The Ranchero, a musclecar built by [[DieselMan]], the Drinkmobile, a horrible, derelict car driven by [[Drink]], who replaced the windshield-cleaner water with beer, and a Ford Fiesta affectionately termed "Schultz," by [[Bizarre]].

Other people who are known for driving: [[DieselMan]]

[[Ykari]] is terrified of driving because she's a wuss.

Retarded

Platypus — Fri, 25 May 2007 01:00:50 GMT

Platypus:

'''Retarded''' (or something) is a term used to describe anyone who questions the [[goddamn Batman]]. It is synonymous with "dense".

Don't call [[DarkGob]] this or he'll ban your ass in a flash. In fact, don't use it at all around him.

==See Also==
*[[Aquaman]]
*[[Goddamn Batman]]

Angelina Jolie

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 23:55:06 GMT

Platypus:

Very hot; looks a lot like the cured [[Poison Ivy]].

Besides acting, Angelina adopts kids, [[fuck|fucks]] [[Brad Pitt]], and [[looks sexy]].

She has absolutely nothing to do with [[Superdickery]], but it's fun to look at her anyways.

== Evidence ==

http://img124.imageshack.us/img124/2969/angelina20jolie202065hi.jpg

Topher Grace

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 23:54:09 GMT

Platypus:

"Funny" Venom.

Comic books

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 23:53:40 GMT

Platypus:

Comic books were the original point of [[Superdickery.com]] and the [[Superdickery Forums]], however they aren't often talked about anymore.

Vicki Vale

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 23:53:09 GMT

Platypus:

Vicki Vale is a reporter who has the hots for Bruce Wayne, and served as his love interest for some time.

Then she dumped him and joined the DC Universe equivalent of The View.

She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne. She's had a date with Bruce Wayne.

How cool is that?

Password

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:21:13 GMT

Platypus:

A password is something [[Virgil]] forgets often, and [[IanTheM1]] (AKA IanTheMOne) has also forgotten. Dr. Orpheus would also be lost without his cookies.

Virgil forgot his admin password for this site.

April 4th

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:16:59 GMT

Platypus:

== NOT FOUND ==

The requested URL ''April_4th'' was not found on this server.

Clown

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:16:09 GMT

Platypus:

A wise man once said: "Kids are scared of them, and adults think they're dumb so what the hell good are they?"

Harley Quinn

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:15:44 GMT

Platypus:

Hawt [[clown]] woman. A [[Joker]] groupie. [[Poison Ivy]] may have a crush on her.

First seen in the [[Batman]] cartoon, her hotness can now be seen in the comics as well. Be that is it may however, the cartoon version is still generally seen as being better.

[[Category: Supervillains]]

Poison Ivy

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:14:47 GMT

Platypus:

Incredibly sexy plant-lady villain. She's totally fucking [[Harley Quinn]] too. Or she was, until somebody drowned her in the [[Superdickery lake]] to spread her sex pollen stuff into all the board members. This is the official explanation for all the [[e-lovin']] that happens at SD.

[[Category: Supervillains]]

Poison Ivy

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:14:31 GMT

Platypus:

Robin

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:12:34 GMT

Platypus:

[[Image:Robin.jpg|thumb| Robin.]] '''Robin''' is [[Batman]]'s sidekick. The name has belonged to several, most famously Dick Grayson (now [[Nightwing]]) and [[Tim Drake]]. Dick may or may not have been gay, but he's bumped uglies with [[Starfire]] and Barbara Gordon (formerly [[Batgirl]]), so who knows?

[[Jason Todd]], the second Robin, was dead, but now isn't....don't ask.

The third/current Robin ([[Tim Drake]]) has an impressive [[batch]] OYL.

The fourth Robin, Stephanie Brown (previously adventuring as the [[Spoiler]]), was only a temp hired by Batman to annoy [[Tim Drake]] into getting back into the costume after he quit. How better to annoy an ex-sidekick than by hiring his ex-girlfriend to wear his [[ex-costume]]? She's dead now, but might get better at a later date.
[[Category:Superheroes]]

Silver Age

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:10:54 GMT

Platypus:

'''The Silver Age''' of comics was a period that lasted from the early 50's to the mid 70's.

Very notorious for its use of crazy plots, weird science, and [[monkeys]]. Heroes that were created in the Silver Age include the second [[Flash]], [[Hal Jordan]] and most of [[Stan Lee]]'s characters from Marvel Comics.

The key period of interest for [[Superdickery]].

Stupid

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:09:39 GMT

Platypus:

Did you seriously have to click on this link to find out what the word "Stupid" meant?

Stupid = You

The Habs

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:45 GMT

Platypus:

A Member group, comprising many of the [[Canadian]] board members.

'''Members''':

*[[bunnyofdoom]]

*[[Carde85]]

*[[Dead Canadian]]

*[[Drink]]

*[[ferretoflove]]

*[[Luggage]]

*[[Mon2Mon]]

*[[Wolf Man]]

Canadian

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:08:18 GMT

Platypus:

A person living in [[Canada]]. Board members from Canada have their own [[member group]] called [[The Habs]].

Canadians are a somewhat strange lot. They take credit for what other Canadians have done as if the country did it as a whole. For example, all of Canada built the Canadarm, all of Canada developed Insulin, etc.

Also, if you ask most Canadians, the 1972 Hockey game against Russia is what really caused the end of the Cold War.

Cartoon

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:07:43 GMT

Platypus:

'''Cartoons''' are Television shows that are drawings being animated. I don't know all the details in how it works, but it does.

==Some cartoons that are worth mentioning==
Everything in the [[DCAU]]

The Simpsons

The Matt Fleicher [[Superman]] cartoons in the 30's and 40's

South Park (Post season 2)

Various [[anime]] (Although nowadays, this tends to be a bit of a crapshoot, see below)

==The quality of Cartoons today==
Quite frankly, most of them suck. They are all either imported from Japan or take on the Japanese style. They also sacrifice good story telling for mindless plots and gimmicks that even a 3-year-old would find stupid. Most of the cartoons that are worth watching today are adult oriented.

This just goes to show you the deterioration of youth today.

Fucking Foreigners

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 22:06:45 GMT

Platypus:

'''Fucking Foreigners''' is a group of SD Forumites who do not reside in the United States or [[Canada]].

== Members of this group ==

'''Australia'''

* [[Bizarre]]
* [[Gouki]]
* [[Louise_squire]]
* [[Ralph]]

'''Finland'''

* [[Fez Findie]]
* [[Guitar Playing Lad]]
* [[Suleman]]

'''France'''

* [[DreamBreaker]]
* [[Purplefish]]

'''Germany'''

* [[Virgie]]

'''Great Britain'''

* [[Bravelybravesirrobin]]
* [[GracieLizzy]]
* [[Hostile]]
* [[Kristianwilliams]]

'''The Netherlands'''

* [[Mess]]
* [[RadMcAwesome]]

Continuity

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:57:12 GMT

Platypus:

A fickle bitch, at best.

Reset in comics roughly every 10 or 20 years. (Every year for Marvel comics.)

Drunk

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:56:35 GMT

Platypus:

'''"You know what they say about sunrise..."'''

Being drunk is the state of being innebriated.

When drunk, your speeling skills might decraese and only yu can unnertand wwhat you're tpying. This is the [[Kris]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might be able to act totally clue, and no one will know until you tell them. When you do tell them, people will worship you for it, because you're so awesome. This is the [[Mike]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might be really giddy, and super happy, and it's possible you won't remember the stuff you do or say, but just basic outlines of everything. This is the [[Virgie]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might find yourself picking fights with inanimate objects, as long as they make sounds, produce light, or can be turned on and off. You'll also find yourself picking fights with people you know can beat your ass into the ground, but will pass up fights with people you know you can win a fight against. This is the [[DiscipleJohn]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might find that your "Talk Shit" skills have a +10 bonus. Due to having some weird skill that lets you get a natural 20 on all "Sarcastic" skills, this makes you obnoxious, but only when annoyed. This angers some people, but most of them back down, because for some reason your voice gets real scary. Other people will attack you anyhow, because you shouldn't have been calling their mother Pandora, because her box unleased the horror that is them onto the world. Well, the smart ones will. The other guys will attack you because you say that their shoes look like shit, which explains why their breath is so bad. This is the [[Virgil]]
method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might find that you lose complete and total loss of all your motor functions, can't see straight, lose all inhibitions, and are easily taken advantage of. This is the American Female Teenager method of being drunk, as well as the American Sorority Girl method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might pass out, and find that your wallet has been stolen, and you have no idea who did it. When you get home, you find out it was your wife, whose duties are management of household finances. This is the [[Japanese]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might find out that everything you could do sober is instantly improved, and being sober makes you a hollow shell of a man. While many people believe this to be the Alcoholic method of being drunk, it is actually the [[Russian]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you might find yourself speaking languages that don't really exist. This is also the Kris method of being drunk.

When drunk, you'll find yourself believing that you are invincible, and that 120 mph in a suburban neighborhood while school's letting out just isn't fast enough. This is known as the Young Male Jackass method of being drunk.

When drunk, you could find yourself attracted to people you really shouldn't be attracted to, and we're not talking coyote ugly, we're talking about them being insane. For instance, both Laura Arnold and one of Virgil's aunts share this method. For the same person too.

When drunk, you might go online, rant about your favorite fictional character, annoy everyone, and get suspended for a day on 4 different but related websites. Then you might go to sleep and throw up in your bed but not care about it and therefore spread more vomit around as you sleep in it. This is the [[Drink]] method of being drunk.

When drunk, you may do something you regret. Such as kissing the bride on her wedding day and getting a love bite from her... This is also the [[Kris]] method of being drunk.

None of you have been as drunk as [[Disciplejohn]]. He was lit on fire three times in one night.

Bondage

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:55:27 GMT

Platypus:

A term used on the internet to describe the films of James Bond, secret agent.

Also the name of a James Bond magazine.

Joker

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:54:53 GMT

Platypus:

Best fucking supervillain ever.

Period.

Is fond of boners.

[[Category:Sockpuppets]]

Wondergirl

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:53:38 GMT

Platypus:

The name of the sidekicks of [[Wonder Woman]].

The original Wondergirl, Donna Troy, arguably has the worst [[continuity]] in the entire history of comics. All attempts at trying to fix it only result in making it more fucked up.

The current Wondergirl is a teenage girl who recieved her powers from Zeus, and then found out that she was his daughter. This is strange because all of Zeus's previous bastard children were born with powers. Now in Infinite Crisis, she's lost her abilities and was given new ones by Ares....or something.

But at least it's all understandable.
[[Category:Superheroes]]

Finland

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:52:51 GMT

Platypus:

The homeland of members [[Fez Findie]], [[Guitar Playing Lad]], and [[Suleman]]. Their president [[Tarja Halonen]] looks like the talk show host [[Conan O'Brien]] and Conan visited Finland recently. Finland doesn't exist, according to [[Mess]].

Infinite Crisis

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:49:44 GMT

Platypus:

The latest attempt at correcting screwy DC [[Continuity]], Infinite Crisis has also been promised to stop "Superheroes being dicks."

However, seeing as [[the]] majority of [[Superdickery]] occured during the [[Silver Age]], one may reason that a return to those values, (as some accuse [[Geoff Johns]] of doing), may actually ''increase'' total amounts of [[dickery]].

Notable for being extremely hated on by forum member [[Rad McAwesome]], however, the general public's reaction so far has been moderately more positive.

As of issue 6, a lot of people are dead, including the modern emo [[Superboy]].

In Issue 7, a new Earth was formed, mixing elements of pre and post Crisis Earth. Wonder Woman now has her invisible jet back, Batman has dropped the [[dickery]] down a few notches (and may actually become likeable again), Superman temporarily lost his powers, Superboy Prime is imprisoned by the Green Lantern Corp, and Alexander Luthor was killed by the Joker.

Also, Black Adam is a hero for some reason.

Superboy Prime however, is still alive, and still [[batshit fucking loco]]. And also probably more emo than Conner Kent could ever hope to be.

The general consensus is issues 1-6 rocked, but Issue 7 was unecessarily emo and dragged down. And why Superboy Prime is still alive will probably be the subject of a lot of criticism until the next company-wide crossover.

Lois Lane

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 21:48:48 GMT

Platypus:

[[Superman]]'s [[girlfriend]]. He loves to kill her.

Lois gains and loses superpowers quite frequently, though nowhere near the rate of [[Jimmy Olsen]].

Blue Beetle

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 18:20:42 GMT

Platypus: /* Jaime Reyes */

One of three superheroes worshipped by the [[Cult of Blue Beetle]].

==Dan Garret(t)==

Sometimes a cop with spidersilk chainmail. Sometimes an archaeologist with an evil magic artifact. Always badass. He will destroy you by flying at you very fast, and if that doesn't work, he'll throw you into a planet. Can take a whole lot of beating. Despite this, is very very dead. Except for that one time.

==Ted Kord==

Notable for being possibly the most useless Blue Beetle, as well as the most loved. It has been asserted that he is smarter than Batman. Possibly not as prone to self-preservation, though, as his hairdryer gun only shoots strobe lights and compressed blasts of air. Except for this one time when it had a laser. Upon reflection, it's a wonder it took forty years for him to get killed.

The Blue Beetle sockpuppet is Ted Kord. However, he seems to have disappeared. We suspect [[Booster Gold]] of killing him so he could have Mike and Ted's Excellent Thread to himself.

==Jaime Reyes==

The current Blue Beetle. A kid from El Paso who would actually rather like to have this incredibly powerful alien invader out of his spine, thanks. In [[the]] meantime, not above using it to do a little heroing. Also, trying to keep the scarab from killing things. Somebody's got to do it.

Do not make the false accusation that Ted was killed for Jaime to be created, as [[wonderfish]] will crush you. Jaime was created after Ted's death had already been decided.

Also, it's Jaime. Not Jamie.

[[Category:Superheroes]]

The Creeper

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:37:41 GMT

Platypus:

Clad in lemon-lime skin, a rictus grin and the world's largest feather boa, '''The Creeper''' is but one of [[Steve Ditko]]'s many fever dreams. A resident of [[Gotham City]] with [[the]] secret identity of Jack Ryder, The Creeper spends his time prancing around half-naked, giving [[Batman]] a headache and giggling like a stoner watching YouTube.

In his [[DCAU]] appearance ''Beware The Creeper'', he not only got an origin story that made sense, but also helped introduce the world to [[Thriftie]] (at Ditko's Vintage Clothing, no less). Thinks bug guys are cool.

[[Category:Superheroes|C]]

Matter-Eater Lad

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:36:18 GMT

Platypus:

Lamest. Superpower. Ever.

An early member of the Legion of Super-Heroes, with the incredible power to eat anything... a power shared by ''everyone'' on the planet Bismol.

And yet [[the]] Legion rejected applicants like Polar Boy.

[[Category: Superheroes]]

Matter Eating Lad

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:31:39 GMT

Platypus: Matter Eating Lad moved to Matter-Eater Lad: Correcting name of lame hero

#redirect [[Matter-Eater Lad]]

Matter-Eater Lad

Platypus — Thu, 24 May 2007 17:31:39 GMT

Platypus: Matter Eating Lad moved to Matter-Eater Lad

Lamest. Superpower. Ever.