Australia

From Superdickery

The land of sexy accents and strange animals.

Australia is home to some of the deadliest animals in the world, although it does not contain the two deadliest (Which are the swordfish and a leech that sucks out your blood and replaces it with a highly fatal poison as it does so)

Many Australian animals have simple analogues in other continents, yet those animals, despite being what is basically the same species, are nowhere near as deadly as the Australian ones. It is to be assumed that Australian creatures had to quickly evolve highly deadly means of attack, in order to ward off the criminal scum that first occupied the island.

Australians have a tendency to kill off their endangered species with little or no care about them, until they are extinct. They also have a very cheap fine ($5,000 Australian) for killing animals that are supposed to be extinct. Such as the Thylacine.

Australia coined "A dingo ate my baby!" While this was believed to be bullshit at the time, it was eventually found out to be true.

Australia gets majorly gipped when it comes to technology. Their region encoded DVD players come from Japan, while all of their DVDs come from America. This means they can't play their DVDs on the DVD players they have to buy.

Australia has proven to be of vital strategic importance in warfare, as long as you are playing RISK. Other than that, it was pretty useful for the Allied forces in the Pacific theatre during World War II.

Australia spends far too much money on military initatives. This makes no sense. Australia is far too large to easily be safeguarded, especially when the island's low population is taken into account. Luckily, it is of no strategic advantange, unless you are in World War II, playing RISK, or are a member of the Penguin Army, slowly trying to take over the world.

Australia is the number one country when it comes to overreacting to inappropriate media, followed closely by New Zealand. While North America deems sexual content as inappropriate, and Europe deems violence to be inappropriate, Australia considers both of those inappropriate. As well as depictions of crime, showing the history of crime, and numerous other things. Like in most countries, swearing is A-OK.

Australia has an odd fixation with American news and politics. They even do live coverage of the American presidential election. It has been theorized that this is Australia's subtle way of saying it would like to be annexed by the US, as long as they get to keep their state names and such. Which would mean that Alaska would no longer be the largest state. An annexation would solve many problems for Australia, such as getting rid of that stupid region encoding problem, and also giving them an actual military with which to protect themselves. Unfortunately, it would cause a few more problems for the country/continent, as being part of the US means they are part of the Great Satan. Luckily, it is not likely for a terrorist attack to occur there, due to that whole strategic importance thing. Australia's annexation would also cause problems for Americans, as they would have no idea what to call the aborigines.