Czechs
From Superdickery
Current revision as of 20:41, 28 May 2007
Czechs hail from Czechoslovakia. Or Czech. Or Slovakia. Depending upon if the two countries are or are not united.
Czechs settled Texas before any other white man did, thus guaranteeing that the evil Welsh influence would not spread to Texas. Czechs are notable for being the people who invented kolaches. Texan Czechs are notable as being the people who turned kolaches into a snack, breakfast, lunch, and dinner. They also made it so that kolaches weren't just a sweet dish, best suited for deserts. They crammed all sorts of stuff in there, not limited to, but especially meat. In order to do this, they had to completely change how the kolache looked. But you know what? It was worth it.
If a Texan claims to not like kolaches, he's probably from New York. Or California. Or some other meat hating, godless, hippie place like those. Although Jews shouldn't eat meat kolaches, since they're usually pork byproducts, it should be noted that Texas has what has to be the lowest Orthodox:Slacker Jew ratio in the world. Due to kolaches.
Aside from the many great acheivements of the Texan Czechs, the actual Czechs are also pretty awesome. They invented Böch, which the Europeans assure the Americans, is a good beer. Texas Czechs made an American version of this, called Shiner Böch, located in the town of Shiner. For an American beer, it's pretty damned good, though it is limited to Texas and some surrounding states. Which is probably why it stays good, instead of catering the pussies in New York, and California, and other alcohol hating, godless, hippie places like that. Shiner Böch has absolutely no advertising whatsoever, and is a must have at every Texas keg party.
The one problem with Czechs is that they tend to roll over for the Germans.
