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| | [[Image:Crispinglover.jpg|thumb|right|Crispin Hellion Glover]] | | [[Image:Crispinglover.jpg|thumb|right|Crispin Hellion Glover]] |
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| - | ==Origins==
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| - | Nobody exactly knows which planet or plane of existence Crispin Glover hails from, various conspiracy theories point to Neptune or the 8th Dimension. He entered his current incarnation in either 1964 or 1814, depending on whom you ask.
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| - | ==Lifestyle==
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| - | Crispin Glover lives in a huge medieval castle atop an active volcano which is surrounded by a moat of molten lava and guarded by vicious [[oompa loompas]] who have rabies. When he ventures outside his abode he is protected by an elite security team comprised of people with Down Syndrome and 3 million rats who will do anything he tells them to. He shares his home with a harem of 582 concubines, mostly 18 to 25-year-old fetish lingerie models who will also do anything he tells them to. He mostly just asks them to dress up in baboon masks and jello wrestle in his livingroom. Crispin Glover has an IQ of 364 and is able to communicate with all species via telepathy. He is said to engage in strange hobbies, such as collecting eyeballs, wiping his ass with VHS copies of E.T. and forcing amputee midgets to color his nipples green with Crayola markers using only their feet. The validity of these claims is disputed.
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| - | ==Film and Art Career==
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| - | He has acted in a wide variety of different movies, from 'Crime and Punishment' to the Lil Bow Wow vehicle 'Like Mike.' He does not discriminate against bad movies. He has written several books and recorded an album of musical and spoken word performances.
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| - | ===Crispin Glover's Best Film Performances===
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| - | [[Image:Layne.jpg|thumb|left|[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TF9NQ-VlS9c scene from River's Edge]]]
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| - | * [http://www.amazon.com/Rivers-Edge-Crispin-Glover/dp/B000053VAX River's Edge] - as Layne, a teen pothead who cares more about his murderous so-called friend than anything.
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| - | * [http://www.amazon.com/Rubin-Ed-Crispin-Glover/dp/6302483425 Rubin and Ed] - as Rubin Farr, a friendless recluse who keeps his dead cat in his freezer.
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| - | * [http://www.amazon.com/Willard-Crispin-Glover/dp/B0000AZT78 Willard] - as Willard Stiles, a lonely, timid, sweet but slightly unhinged man whose only friends are the rats in his mom's basement.
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| - | [[Image:5925658.gif|thumb|right|Rubin Farr]]
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| - | ==Crispin Glover on Youtube==
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| - | Do a search for "Crispin Glover" on Youtube and you'll find all kinds of stuff, including the [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMpm_1Sc6Bw trailer] to "Simon Says," in which he plays a murderous Forrest Gump-like character with an insanely overdone swamp hillbilly accent. Also his role on [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL0ew-k46bg Happy Days].
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