Mojo philter
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Mojo is an enigma wrapped in a mystery on a sesame seed bun. A forty-something Californian from Sunnyvale in the heart of the 'Silicon Valley' he now lives in Valparaiso, Chile where his most recent contribution to Chilean culture is the catchy phrase, 'mierda de perro no es cultura.' Like Bo Jackson he talks about himself in the Third Person and unlike Bo frequently sings out loud in public the words | Mojo is an enigma wrapped in a mystery on a sesame seed bun. A forty-something Californian from Sunnyvale in the heart of the 'Silicon Valley' he now lives in Valparaiso, Chile where his most recent contribution to Chilean culture is the catchy phrase, 'mierda de perro no es cultura.' Like Bo Jackson he talks about himself in the Third Person and unlike Bo frequently sings out loud in public the words | ||
'dick in a box!' from the hilarious Andy Samberg SNL routine. | 'dick in a box!' from the hilarious Andy Samberg SNL routine. | ||
| - | In 2001 a fresh-faced young mojo was kicked off the first Internet Forum he | + | In 2001 a fresh-faced young mojo was unceremoniously kicked off the very first Internet Forum he joined within 24 hours for the always heinous crime of A.A.I.Q.A.J, asking an innocent question about jews. Mojo scratched his wonderfully luxurious head of hair, farted, and reflected on why certain people are such an hysterically protected species like the Saltmarsh topminnow, (Fundulus jenkinsi) or the Key Largo woodrat, (Neotoma floridana smalli). |
| - | Much later, armed only with a bag of Doritos and a 2 liter Diet Coke mojo gave the forum thing another try. | + | Much later, armed only with a bag of Doritos and a 2 liter Diet Coke mojo gave the forum thing another try. Initially intimidated by the (at that time) high-toned discussion, he lurked at Liberty Forum for months before he finally hitched up his drawers, cinched his Jethro Bodeen rope belt tighter and signed on as Bad Mojo. Hilarity ensued and good times were had by all... but, in mid 2004 unable to login during one of the legendary LF server meltdowns, mojo changed his handle to billy_boatrocker. Commentators have suggested that handle is a more accurate representation of his whimsically strange passive-agressive personality, but when asked mojo/billy said, "I dunno." |
| - | + | Imbibing deep of the LF wisdom yet tiring after 2000+ posts as BBR, billy felt LF had devolved into either, a. an endless marathon of stale cosmic pizza, or b. lewd and pulsating banality in it's highest and lowest forms at the same time. So, justifiably confused, he bowed out like a true pro. | |
When asked by an adoring media at his retirement press conference why he was hanging up his spikes while still at the top of his game, a tearful mojo/billy said." I don't worry about the things I can control, because I can control them, and I don't worry about the things I can't control because I can't control them." | When asked by an adoring media at his retirement press conference why he was hanging up his spikes while still at the top of his game, a tearful mojo/billy said." I don't worry about the things I can control, because I can control them, and I don't worry about the things I can't control because I can't control them." | ||
Revision as of 02:27, 24 December 2006
Mojo is an enigma wrapped in a mystery on a sesame seed bun. A forty-something Californian from Sunnyvale in the heart of the 'Silicon Valley' he now lives in Valparaiso, Chile where his most recent contribution to Chilean culture is the catchy phrase, 'mierda de perro no es cultura.' Like Bo Jackson he talks about himself in the Third Person and unlike Bo frequently sings out loud in public the words 'dick in a box!' from the hilarious Andy Samberg SNL routine. In 2001 a fresh-faced young mojo was unceremoniously kicked off the very first Internet Forum he joined within 24 hours for the always heinous crime of A.A.I.Q.A.J, asking an innocent question about jews. Mojo scratched his wonderfully luxurious head of hair, farted, and reflected on why certain people are such an hysterically protected species like the Saltmarsh topminnow, (Fundulus jenkinsi) or the Key Largo woodrat, (Neotoma floridana smalli). Much later, armed only with a bag of Doritos and a 2 liter Diet Coke mojo gave the forum thing another try. Initially intimidated by the (at that time) high-toned discussion, he lurked at Liberty Forum for months before he finally hitched up his drawers, cinched his Jethro Bodeen rope belt tighter and signed on as Bad Mojo. Hilarity ensued and good times were had by all... but, in mid 2004 unable to login during one of the legendary LF server meltdowns, mojo changed his handle to billy_boatrocker. Commentators have suggested that handle is a more accurate representation of his whimsically strange passive-agressive personality, but when asked mojo/billy said, "I dunno." Imbibing deep of the LF wisdom yet tiring after 2000+ posts as BBR, billy felt LF had devolved into either, a. an endless marathon of stale cosmic pizza, or b. lewd and pulsating banality in it's highest and lowest forms at the same time. So, justifiably confused, he bowed out like a true pro. When asked by an adoring media at his retirement press conference why he was hanging up his spikes while still at the top of his game, a tearful mojo/billy said." I don't worry about the things I can control, because I can control them, and I don't worry about the things I can't control because I can't control them."
