Say "You fight like a cow."

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==Overview==
==Overview==
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'''Thatkidsam Email #66'''
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'''Thatkidsam E-Mail #3'''
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It's the 66th Email Spectacular as Thatkidsam (and others) reveal why there is no That Kid, Sam that exists.
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Thatkidsam got robbed. Bonk will see about that!
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[thatkidsam.muffin/Thatkidsam|Thatkidsam]], [[thatkidsam.muffin/Omni|Omni]], [[thatkidsam.muffin/Brent|Brent]], [[thatkidsam.muffin/Lawrence|Lawrence]], [[HRWiki:Bubs|Bubs]], "[[HRWiki:Coach Z|Coachz]]", [[HRWiki:The Poopsmith|The Poopsmith]]
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'''Cast (in order of appearance):''' [[thatkidsam.muffin/Icreature|Icreature]], [[thatkidsam.muffin/Vintage Video Game Dealer|Vintage Video Game Dealer]], [[thatkidsam.muffin/Thatkidsam|Thatkidsam]], [[thatkidsam.muffin/Bonk|Bonk-Bats]]
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'''Places:''' [[HRWiki:Bubs' Concession Stand|Bubs' Concession Stand]], 1890 Land
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'''Places:''' [[thatkidsam.muffin/Masdiktaht Jet|Masdiktaht Jet]]
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{{Thatkidsam Comp|Gameslayer}}
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{{Thatkidsam Comp|Turbo Grafx}}
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'''Date:''' March 12, 2006
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'''Date:''' March 10th, 2005
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'''Lines:''' 73
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'''Lines:''' 30
==Transcript==
==Transcript==
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<blockquote class="gameslayer">
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{''It is night. Icreature is a pile of goo on the ground. You can see eyes out the window. A guy suddenly breaks in and steals the Turbo Grafx, then runs away. Icreature wakes up.''}
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<font color="red">THE 66TH EMAIL SPECTACULAR</font></blockquote>
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''{Maniacal laughter is heard. Everything is in flames, presumably Hell. Thatkidsam comes in, his hair distinctively in two horn-shapes. He holds a pitchfork made of three daggers and a shaft. He begins to laugh evilly.}''
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'''ICREATURE:''' (Thatkidsam! That vintage video game dealer stole your 16!)
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Gwahahahaha!
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{''Thatkidsam is still asleep.''}
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''{Thatkidsam looks around nervously. He pats his hair down, throws away the pitchfork, and uses a fire extinguisher to put out the fires.}''
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'''ICREATURE:''' (Come on, wake up!) {''Morphs into an alarm clock and goes off.''}
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Whoops. That could've been bad.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Unh... What? That guy from the store? Little does he know, I have a tracking device on it! {''Yawns''} Fly, my Bonk-Bats! Follow this sonar and find my system! {''Opens a huge cage of Bonks with wings, and tosses them a scanner gun''}
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''{Cut to Bubs' Concession Stand. Thatkidsam is checking email.}''
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{''The Bonk-Bats fly off, not making a sound''}
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Email will never be as good as a calculator with a built-in pillow.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Oh well, I'll just open my filing cabinet and get a new one for the time being. {''Opens a huge vault of systems, grabs a Turbo Grafx 16''}
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''{The Gameslayer logo appears on the screen, and a black figure labeled "Omni" runs across the screen with a banner reading "Version: NOW WITH OFFICE ASSISTANT 'STABBY THE TELEGRAM'!" Then, two icons appear: "Omni-Mail" and "Add New File".}''
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{''Cut to Thatkidsam answering an email.''}
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''{The Thatkidsam Omni runs over to the "Omni-Mail" icon and taps it. The screen transitions to an email that pops up.}''
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' {''Inserts the E-Mail card and turns it on''} Okay, let's try a little bit of this...
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<blockquote class=gameslayer>
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'''MAGICAL VOICES:''' HERE COMES THE THATKIDSAM!!!
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Dear Thatkidsam,<br />
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Us down at the Space Store were wondering if you'd like to <br />
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try our services. We were thinking about adding two spaces to<br />
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your name, since you seem to be lacking.<br />
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-The Space Store.<br />
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</blockquote>
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' LACKING IN SPACES?? LOOK AT THE SHEER NUMBER OF SPACES IN MY NAME! I HAVE... um... Let's count them. ''{Silence}'' I guess you're right. I could use a few- Wait a minute... I remember!
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<blockquote class="turboemail">
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Hey d00d<br />
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r us 1337?1111<br />
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-teh graystone man</blockquote>
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''{Thatkidsam flips through some records labeled "<s>CHERISHED</s> MEMORIES". He comes across a birth certificate.}''
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{''Reads as "Hey doad, are us one thousand three hundred thirty seven? One one one one, Teh Graystone Man''}
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<blockquote class="written">
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Wow, that was a useless email. If you wanna see a leet person, go see The Leet! He's over at Bubs'. I know how to do this. A digga. A digga digga. A diggity diggity-
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<font size=4>LEONARDO JERRY FORBES THAT KID SAM MAS DIK TAHT<br />
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BORN MAY 4, 1994<br />
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I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S IN HIGH SCHOOL NOW, EITHER<br />
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ASK THAT OTHER GUY</font></blockquote>
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Hm. If I remember correctly, my Poopaw had insane ideas for naming his children. Brent's birth name is... Heh. His first name is "Brentwise", his middle name is "Langford Brooks", and the last name was "Mas Dik Taht". When Brent decided to get an Icreature, Poopaw wanted to name him "Optic Fullmetal Larry Sue". Most pets I know have just one word for a name... But it got out of hand when he named me. "Leonardo Jerry Forbes" was my first name, "That Kid Sam" my middle, and our family name hadn't changed by then. As you can see, as soon as I could legally change my name, I squashed it into good ol' Leo Thatkidsam Masdiktaht.
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{''Thatkidsam attempts to jump up and press the DELETED! button, but Icreature forms a ceiling over his head.''}
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''{Brent comes in.}''
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'''ICREATURE:''' (Why don'cha show him all those leet things you made? You know, with Bonk, and Zonk, and, uh, sandwiches...)
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'''BRENT:''' No, that's all wrong! I may have been named "Brentwise", but our Poopaw wasn't that insane! The space has a long history to it...
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' I hate it how you always make emails longer! Anyway, SimSanwich was my only working game, no thanks to you, Icreature!
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''{Cut to a long piece of parchment mostly made up of gibberish.}''
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'''ICREATURE:''' (Meep!) {''Disappears into nothingness, or the kitchen, whichever sounds more reasonable''}
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'''BRENT:''' In 1890, Nintendo was simply a humble card-making company, making cards with flowers and Disney Characters on them.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' But I did make this giant statue of Bonk in front of my house!
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''{Two cards with a cactus and Donald Duck appear.}''
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{''The camera shows a plane with a statue of Bonk attatched to one wing.''}
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'''BRENT:''' I assume they were for some trading-card game for all the rich kids out there.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' And I did make those Bonk-Bats, right?
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''{The pictures on the cards shrink into portraits and gain "attack" stats and "defense" stats, along with long descriptions. A hand picks the cactus card up.}''
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{''Cut to the Bonk-Bats headbutting the Vintage Video Game Dealer into oblivion.''}
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'''FRENCH ACCENT GUY:''' I use the Thorncracker special attack! Your defense and HP are switched, and your attack is set to 3. You may now only use... ''{Rolls a die}'' ''{Rolls another die}'' ''{Rolls yet another die}'' 18 of your attacks.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' And, that's about it, really... I'm really not that leet.
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'''BRITISH ACCENT GUY:''' ''{Picks up the Donald Duck card}'' Aww, nuts.
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{''Several Turbo Grafx U-Cards line up at the top of the screen displaying the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:thatkidsam.muffin&action=edit thatkidsam@thatkidsam.muffin]"''}
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'''BRENT:''' However, since everything in writing was so hard to read without any separation between words, it was tough to read their attack descriptions.
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'''BRITISH ACCENT GUY:''' Just a sec... Let me read my 4th attack... ''{Mumbles}''
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'''FRENCH ACCENT GUY:''' If it were easier to read, we'd be done faster than a train on its way to worke!
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'''BRENT:''' They invented the space to discern between words. They also invented the &Theta; to separate each stroke of a letter, but it never caught on because it made reading harder.
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'''FRENCH ACCENT GUY:''' And my 5th attack is... &Theta;&Theta;&Theta;&Theta;&Theta;&Theta;&Theta;&Theta;-
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''{Cut to a young Thatkidsam holding a sign...}''
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<blockquote class="written">
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<font size=4>imagainsttheuseofspacessojoinmeinmyboycottit'llreadssxmailsbeworthitshowthosenintendoguyswhosboss</font></blockquote>
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'''BRENT:''' Once you found out that Nintendo made spaces, you decided to boycott them. However, since nobody read your sign in under four hours, only your friend R O G U E R E D D decided to remove most of the spaces. And I think itm was for sympathy.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Shut up!
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''{Cut back to Bubs' Concession Stand. Lawrence walks in.}''
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'''LAWRENCE:''' No. I know the real truth.
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''{Cut to a picture of six assassins, one of them being a young Lawrence.}''
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'''LAWRENCE:''' ''{Voiceover}'' After intruding on the Comatose Six's property, That Kid Sam could only afford the simplest name change to get away from our assassin team. I still couldn't track him until a year ago.
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''{Cut back to the Concession Stand. Bubs walks down the stairs.}''
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'''BUBS:''' No, no, no. I've got the real scoop. That Kid Sam was so deeply in debt, he sold the spaces to me to save his kneecaps! I currently enjoy two convenient spaces in my name.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' That's a lie! You don't have any spaces in your name!
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'''BUBS:''' They're all at the end, to tell the truth.
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''{Coach Z comes in.}''
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'''COACHZ:''' No! If you work out too hard, the spaces will start to drop off from your name and go back where they came from!
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Does the entire city need to know about this?
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''{The Poopsmith comes in.}''
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' No! Don't even try! You can't talk, and I doubt you can write or read!
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''{The Poopsmith dejectedly walks away, holding a well-written book, "A Tale of Two Spaces".}''
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' I can safely say that my story is the only true one.
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''{The entire room begins to riot, each one insisting that theirs is true.}''
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''{Omni runs across the screen, leaving a banner with the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ [http://fanstuff.hrwiki.org/index.php?title=Talk:thatkidsam.muffin&action=edit thatkidsam@thatkidsam.muffin]".}''
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==Easter Eggs==
==Easter Eggs==
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*Wait 15 seconds to view an additional scene.
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*Click on '''about it''' to see the couch.
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Although I would enjoy using your services to edit Lawrence's official name...
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''{Cut to a government office.}''
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'''RANDOM AUTHORITY FIGURE:''' Holy crap, this guy's name is too long for our computer to handle!
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''{A computer is visible with the following text:}''
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{''Thatkidsam is still sitting in it, sleeping. It suddenly closes on him.''}
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<blockquote class="email">
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' Hwa-
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L A W R E N C E D O M I N O N I N A T I O N I S M P R I S M A T I L C A D D I L A C L A W S O N</blockquote>
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'''RANDOM AUTHORITY FIGURE:''' That guy's name is 48 names long! I've heard of that Ralph Lee Monoke Fitz-Gerald guy, but this takes the cake!
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'''ICREATURE:''' (You stay there while I'm eating all of your mushroom tops, kay?)
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''{The computer explodes.}''
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'''THATKIDSAM:''' NOOOOOO!!
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*Click on the parts of the computer to see a poster for a "Comatose Six" manga series.
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*Click on '''leet''' to see Thatkidsam's ultimate creation, the Trapper & Keeper Hologram Clock!
==Fun Facts==
==Fun Facts==
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*The entire beginning segment is a reference to 666, a number believed to be related to the devil.
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*The Leet is an [[thatkidsam.muffin/The Leet|actual character]].
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*Strong Bad also has a [[HRWiki:secret recepies|poopaw]].
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*The couch closed in the easter egg because it showed us in [[thatkidsam.muffin/sandwich|sandwich]] that it is shaped like a Sega Saturn.
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*Nintendo actually was a card-making company 100 years ago. However, the trading-card joke is a complete lie.
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*In Thatkidsam's protest sign is a shameless plug for [[SSX-Mail]].
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==Author's Comments==
==Author's Comments==
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*Rating: B
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*Rating: D+
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*Ah, back to non-canon emails. These are much easier, and I can also pull these trading-card jokes well with this kind of thing. Also, Coach Z's story is based on some GameFAQs user's theory that playing Guitar Hero makes your fingers disappear, in response to the fact that a video about Guitar Hero showed buttons being pressed, but no fingers pressing them.
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*Meh... This email was okay, but it was like Strong Bad's emails: It always strays off topic. His are funny, but I didn't stray it to a very interesting other topic.
{{Muffin}}
{{Muffin}}

Revision as of 03:14, 28 March 2006

Contents

Overview

Thatkidsam E-Mail #3

Thatkidsam got robbed. Bonk will see about that!

Cast (in order of appearance): Icreature, Vintage Video Game Dealer, Thatkidsam, Bonk-Bats

Places: Masdiktaht Jet

Template:Thatkidsam Comp

Date: March 10th, 2005

Lines: 30

Transcript

{It is night. Icreature is a pile of goo on the ground. You can see eyes out the window. A guy suddenly breaks in and steals the Turbo Grafx, then runs away. Icreature wakes up.}

ICREATURE: (Thatkidsam! That vintage video game dealer stole your 16!)

{Thatkidsam is still asleep.}

ICREATURE: (Come on, wake up!) {Morphs into an alarm clock and goes off.}

THATKIDSAM: Unh... What? That guy from the store? Little does he know, I have a tracking device on it! {Yawns} Fly, my Bonk-Bats! Follow this sonar and find my system! {Opens a huge cage of Bonks with wings, and tosses them a scanner gun}

{The Bonk-Bats fly off, not making a sound}

THATKIDSAM: Oh well, I'll just open my filing cabinet and get a new one for the time being. {Opens a huge vault of systems, grabs a Turbo Grafx 16}

{Cut to Thatkidsam answering an email.}

THATKIDSAM: {Inserts the E-Mail card and turns it on} Okay, let's try a little bit of this...

MAGICAL VOICES: HERE COMES THE THATKIDSAM!!!

Hey d00d
r us 1337?1111
-teh graystone man

{Reads as "Hey doad, are us one thousand three hundred thirty seven? One one one one, Teh Graystone Man}

THATKIDSAM: Wow, that was a useless email. If you wanna see a leet person, go see The Leet! He's over at Bubs'. I know how to do this. A digga. A digga digga. A diggity diggity-

{Thatkidsam attempts to jump up and press the DELETED! button, but Icreature forms a ceiling over his head.}

ICREATURE: (Why don'cha show him all those leet things you made? You know, with Bonk, and Zonk, and, uh, sandwiches...)

THATKIDSAM: I hate it how you always make emails longer! Anyway, SimSanwich was my only working game, no thanks to you, Icreature!

ICREATURE: (Meep!) {Disappears into nothingness, or the kitchen, whichever sounds more reasonable}

THATKIDSAM: But I did make this giant statue of Bonk in front of my house!

{The camera shows a plane with a statue of Bonk attatched to one wing.}

THATKIDSAM: And I did make those Bonk-Bats, right?

{Cut to the Bonk-Bats headbutting the Vintage Video Game Dealer into oblivion.}

THATKIDSAM: And, that's about it, really... I'm really not that leet.

{Several Turbo Grafx U-Cards line up at the top of the screen displaying the message "Click Here to E-Mail Thatkidsam @ thatkidsam@thatkidsam.muffin"}

Easter Eggs

  • Click on about it to see the couch.

{Thatkidsam is still sitting in it, sleeping. It suddenly closes on him.}

THATKIDSAM: Hwa-

ICREATURE: (You stay there while I'm eating all of your mushroom tops, kay?)

THATKIDSAM: NOOOOOO!!

  • Click on leet to see Thatkidsam's ultimate creation, the Trapper & Keeper Hologram Clock!

Fun Facts

  • The Leet is an actual character.
  • The couch closed in the easter egg because it showed us in sandwich that it is shaped like a Sega Saturn.

Author's Comments

  • Rating: D+
  • Meh... This email was okay, but it was like Strong Bad's emails: It always strays off topic. His are funny, but I didn't stray it to a very interesting other topic.


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