Masochist me/My first humiliation encounter
From Create Your Own Story
Me: No, first, I should tell you about my first humiliation. Well, that I remember.
Interviewer: Oh, okay. Sorry, didn't mean to sound like I just wanted to hear about sex or something.
Me: I understand. Anyways, where should I start.
Potty Break
I raised my hand.
"Yes," the teacher asked, drawing out the s in that annoying way she had.
"May I use the restroom?" I asked her.
She shook her head no as she replied. "Recess just ended. You should have gone then."
She turned back to the board and continued going on about stupid math problems.
I raised my hand again, waiting for her to turn back around. When she did, she called on me.
“What is it now?” She asked.
“Please, I really need to go potty.” I whined.
“If you keep interrupting me, I will send you to the principal’s office,” she informed me.
I put my hand back down, but could feel the pressure build, and knew it wouldn’t work.
Then, it started. I tried to hold it back, but it did no good. I squeaked slightly as the first trickle started. I could feel the wetness start spreading, starting between my legs, my tights warming down there.
The first trickle became a flood as I could no longer hold back, and the wetness soon soaking my tights, leaking onto the chair, dripping onto the floor.
Relief was short though, as one of the boys seated next to me looked over.
"Teacher, teacher! She peed herself!" He announced to everyone. There was a shuffling of chairs as the other students got up, trying to come around to stare, then they started laughing. Pointing and laughing.
I squeezed my eyes shut as the teacher pushed through the students, coming to stand next to my desk.
I heard their laughter, their names.
"She is a pee pee girl."
"Eww, gross!"
"She really peed herself, what a baby!"
I felt heat rush into my face, soon as warm as between my legs, down my legs.
While I should have felt ashamed, or embarrassed, I didn't. I couldn't explain it, but all those kids, watching me, pointing at me, laughing at me, it didn't hurt like it should. It felt, different. It made me feel sort of good.
Interviewer: So, why did you feel this way?
Me: I don't know. They say humiliation is linked to the same area of the brain as pain, and I find enjoyment it pain. It brings me pleasure.
Interviewer: So, it sounds like it may be something to do with how you are wired?
Me: Didn't I already say that before?
