The Review/Adult Stories/The Devils Daughter

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DirtyMeStoryTime's review of The Devils Daughter:
Nothing reviewed yet. Sorry, this is over 600 pages. It will take a while. I will make notes on here as I go.

Some random grammar mistakes, some more obvious than others. Editor may need to touch up the pages and correct the mistakes, then it would not detract as much as it currently does.

Author tries to use extensive descriptions.

Some red links early on.

Sort of an object oriented feel towards it so far, but given the nature of the main character, and the focus on lust and physical things, rather than on who a person is, that sort of fits the story. Language is very male oriented.

Does the author know that not all women "squirt"?

Hmm, I don't think a school would accept the kind of dress seen in part of the story, not from a teacher. To train your teacher and try to turn her into a sex object is one thing, but the way the conservative teacher goes from conservative to some over the top DOM is too much. The author should have eased a bit more into it. And to randomly have the students raped, and think no consequences would happen, is also not believable. It is just too much too quickly.