Hypno Halloween/The Plan

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< Hypno Halloween
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With all of that said and all of my layers, that was merely who I was… but it also reminded me of who I wasn’t or could have been. I know it is really just a twist on the old “middle age crisis”, but that’s where I was… heh, I was average after all. But there is really something to that: you’ve reached ‘half way’ through your life… you’ve spent half your life as an adult… you’ve spent so much of your time saying, “I’ll do it later, I have to do this now…” but you start to realize there’s not nearly as much ‘later’ left.

I realize, I’m no spring chicken. If I’m going to do it, if I’m really trying to live the fantasy, I need to do it soon. Looking at it, why not do it now. Well, not this moment, but I realized I had 6 months until the night everyone was expected to be someone they’re not: Halloween.

However, I tried it before; three times actually. But every time, I’d back out for one reason or another. I’d rush it, or get nervous, or just become ashamed. So, I had six months to do it all right. I could plan it, I just need to get it laid out and follow it out.

So, I setup some basic goals:

  • Find a costume that would be fun and flirty
    • Learn make up
    • Find body shaping and augmentation that will look good
    • Get a good wig
  • Work on a girly voice
  • Find someone to hang with me I can trust
  • Lose 80 lbs
  • DON’T CHICKEN OUT

That last one was going to be the hardest.

Then it dawned on me. When I was first looking for a job out of college, I found some motivational tapes that seemed to really help. People talked about how I seemed a lot more confident. So there had to be something to help with this, right?

I started looking around for some sort of motivational/weight loss/feminizing audio. Within short order, I was finding tons of hypnosis audio and sites to help a gurl out! Nothing quite specific to what I was wanting, but you know what, maybe I did need it specific.

I needed some help but maybe I could put in some variety. Maybe I could finally let go of some control even. Maybe without getting some idiotically angry.

The boards were pretty helpful in directed me to various sites even; including some common links out there. There were some interesting sites that offered custom scripts, but they were wanting a lot of money for something that I wasn’t even sure could work. All of it was pretty fantastical in claims so it in all likelihood it really would work.

Then I just needed to set my mind to it and just get it done. I wanted to do it therefore I can. That’s all there is to it; right?

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