Piggy's Day/Be a mutiny
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Revision as of 18:16, 8 July 2014
The rest of the crew is also fed up with the captain's volatile behaviour.
Crew in unison: "MUTINY! MUTINY!"
Keel-haul-Jack cowers in fear, knowning that this might not end well. Unbeknowst to them, The captain had been secretly listening to them.
Captain: "Those mutinizng, arrogant bastards! You'd think they'd know better as my fourth crew."
The following morning, the crew confronts the Captain.
First mate: "Captain, this is..."
The captain picls up the first mate on his hooked right hand, and dangles him from the neck of his shirt.
Captain: "ATTEMPTING A MUTINY, ARE YOU!?"
All members of the crew point to onenother and yell:
Cerw: "It wasn't me, it was him!"
Captain: "I eavesdropped the lot of you, and got a hankering to keel-haul you all"
Keel-haul-Jack: "NOOOOOOOOO! I told you guys!"
Captain: "Eh, actually, we can skip you, Jack. I heard that you were the only one against the mutiny, so instead, I'll promote you to first mate."
First mate: "Oh, bugger...."
Captain: "From now no, you'll be referred to as Keel-haul-... Uhh.. what's your name again?"
First mate: "Mike."
Captain: "KEEL-HAUL-MIKE. Right. Have him keel-hauled!"
Keel-haul-Mike: "NO!"
Observer: "There's no time for that now, captain. Swordhand-Morris' ship is on sight, and closing in fast!"
Captain: "All men to cannons!"
The crew rush off under the deck, newly-demoted Keel-haul-Mike slumpering behind. As the two ships close in on eachothers, the captain corrects the ships angle so that they can fire properly. The crew has 8 cannons at their disposal, however as each require two men to operate, so only 6 can be operated at the moment.
Captain Fat-Piggy: "You card-swindlin' slave to the East India Company! You should've replaced your left hand with an opium pipe instead of that pitiful sword!"
Captain Swordhand-Morris: "Yer so fat I heard you caused a famine last time you went to Ireland!"
Captain Fat-Piggy: "I never been to Ireland, and with the amount of spies you've got lurking about, you should know that!"
Meanwhile, in the cannon levels:
A crewmember: "Whoa-oh. I've run out of gunpowder."
Another crewmember: "Well, there was one right next to you a moment ago..."
The ships are now so close that the two captains have planks set up to continue the conversation face-to-face. It soon erupts into a sword fight. The arguments have escalated to the point that both participants are just calling eachothers' hats ugly. Then, the quarrel is interrupted.
Keel-haul-Mike: "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!"
Keel-haul-Mike has stolen a bag of black gunpowder from the armoury, and is holding a lit torch.
Captain Fat-Piggy: "Wha- Keel-haul-Mike, what is the meaning of this?"
Keel-haul-Mike: "I'm through with your constant volatile outbursts! Now it's my time to be prone to explosion."
Captain Fat-Piggy: "Mike... put the torch down, we can still talk about this..."
Keel-haul-Mike: "No! I'll blow the lot of you, and conquer your ships!"
You try and quickly think of a way to disarm Mike. You can either try jumping onto Morris's ship, or project your hook hand on his face.
Do you:
