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| - | You are having too much fun to stop rubbing your wet pussy against Kate's clit while fingering her. You like the sexual tension you are inflicting on Janet.
| + | Sorry about blanking the page, but it's kind of embarrassing. I have never really written anything before I just read a lot, so I guess that explains it. But now I know tips so I will use them. Okay I will write one more thing and if it sucks, I will quit too much embarrassment. [[GirlOnGirlFan!]] |
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| - | *This first sentence is okay, but the second is slightly awkward. The way we are "inflicting on". This is actually a misuse of the word. It means "cause (something unpleasant or painful) to be suffered by someone or something." So, unless you are saying this is unpleasant sexual tension (Maybe because you are preventing a release), well, this is not quite right.
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| - | You are having too much fun to stop as your wet pussy rubs against Kate's clit, even as you continue to finger her. You can see the sexual tension welling up in Janet, which you find very satisfying.
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| - | You watch her bathing herself in the warm water, the water causing her skin to look shiny, as she vigorously fingers her pussy, moaning loudly while watching you and Kate.
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| - | *This sentence gets very awkward and it is hard to follow what is happening. I am not even sure if I have it right, but as I understand the flow, it is you watch Janet, Janet is bathing, she is masturbating in the bath and is somehow able to see you and Kate while she is in the bathroom. Correct flow?
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| - | Janet, unable to join water clings to her in the bath, causing her skin to shine and glisten, instead starts working her fingers vigorously in and out of her pussy. Her mouth opens wide as she moans loudly, turning you on even more.
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| - | You decide to continue teasing Janet because you love the show she is putting on, so you stick one of your fingers in Kate's tight asshole in return. She moans in surprise. You then stick the fingers you used to finger her pussy in her mouth and she seems to like the taste of her lust juices, sucking your fingers gently.
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| - | *Hmm, when I read this, I still do not really feel much. It seems like it just needs to be compressed in some areas and transitioned in others.
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| - | "Since Janet is putting on such a show," you whisper into Kate's ear, "lets give her one ourselves." With that, you stick one of your fingers into Kate's tight asshole. She moans in surprise (I have never heard a moan in surprise, but I will leave it). Your other finger, the one you penetrated her pussy with, slides up to her mouth. She sucks it gently, but eagerly, apparently pleased with the taste of her own juices.
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| - | You decide she is loose enough so you stick another finger in her pucker. She gets used to the new sensation and moans in pleasure, encouraging you to stick another finger in her. You stick one more finger up her ass while french kissing her and playing with her golden, luxurious hair, you start rubbing Kate's clit against yours rapidly and her sexy moans make your pussy tingle with pure lust and desire.
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| - | *So, you just need to work on your transitions here.
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| - | Once she loosens up, you push another finger into her asshole. As she gets gets comfortable with the extra stretching, moans of pleasure start emanating from her. It almost seems like she is encouraging you to stick yet another finger as her moans get louder. You carefully slip in one more, three fingers now penetrating her ass, as your lips meet, and tongues start probing hot, wet places, exploring the other's mouth. Your free hand, that is not busy penetrating her ass, starts playing with her golden, luxurious hair. Your pussy, stopped as you focused on Janet in the bathroom, and Kate pressed up against you, starts moving as you angle yourself so you and Kate's clits rub against each other. Her sexy moans make your pussy tingle in pure lust and excitement, and your hips speed up, clits rubbing faster and faster.
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| - | Janet cannot stand watching you guys and starts fingering her pussy. You pick up the pace and finger Kate's asshole faster while rubbing your wet slit against her clitoris faster. She moans loud and squirts all over your voluptuous body. Janet cannot stand it and squirts all over your sexy curves.
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| - | *We have a redundant squirt here. You have it in two back to back sentences. Also, you had Janet fingering herself earlier, so you are changing it here.
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| - | Janet's fingers, paused while she watched you and Kate, start working again. You pick up the pace on Kate's asshole to match Janet's fingers, while continuing to rub your wet slit against Kate's clit. She moans loudly, squirting against you, and you see Janet doing the same in the bathroom.
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Sorry about blanking the page, but it's kind of embarrassing. I have never really written anything before I just read a lot, so I guess that explains it. But now I know tips so I will use them. Okay I will write one more thing and if it sucks, I will quit too much embarrassment. GirlOnGirlFan!
