User talk:Ollie Williams
From Create Your Own Story
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Huh, never thought of Makeda as Rhianna although that's definitely an interesting visual representation. Rhianna looks to sly and cute I think, more like an thief than an slave. Hard to say excacly what I imagined Makeda looks like but I would say Naomi campbell with thicker hair, lower scalp hairline and much darker skin than that shiny brownish skin tone Naomi has. Looking forward to the interrogation, not sure where that story arc should go from here honestly, will be interesting to work out some new ideas for the future. | Huh, never thought of Makeda as Rhianna although that's definitely an interesting visual representation. Rhianna looks to sly and cute I think, more like an thief than an slave. Hard to say excacly what I imagined Makeda looks like but I would say Naomi campbell with thicker hair, lower scalp hairline and much darker skin than that shiny brownish skin tone Naomi has. Looking forward to the interrogation, not sure where that story arc should go from here honestly, will be interesting to work out some new ideas for the future. | ||
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| + | lol, ops, wrote Sharon instead of Lyna. What in the hell was I on last night? Nah stupid mistake, happens more than you might think, but usually I manage to correct those kinds of errors when I reread the text. | ||
Revision as of 06:41, 15 March 2010
Appreciate the work you did on War and Sex. It’s always fun to have another user add to your story. Good job with the troll alliance story by the way, had similar idea actually. And about the Category link, no worries, I think we all forget that one the first time we edit hehehe.
Indeed. The occasional lapse is quite acceptable, especially on your first time posting. Just don't make a habit of forgetting. And welcome aboard! --Platypus 19:41, 24 January 2010 (UTC)
Contents |
Glad that you like my story, hope my ridiculously slow pace doesn’t bother you too much ;). As for the questions.
1 Yes, if you decide to become a regular contributor it would be the best thing that could happen to the story. Another writer is always welcomed.
2 Adria is a good name; thank god you came along so I wouldn’t be forced to come up with another name for a character. The whole name giving thing is probably the hardest part in my book. I mean Helena Farmer? Naming a character after their occupation is just lazy writing hahaha.
3 Don’t worry too much on introducing new plot twist. This is a CYOA after all. Resolving and connecting different authors plot twists are part of the fun! The part with Faust’s slaves becoming loyal to him is a natural addition to the story in my eyes so go for it. However, how will the princess react to his slaves? I always imagine her to be a bit of a royal bitch in the bedroom really.
4 About the father… eh SPOILERS… I guess.
My idea is that the father was serving that woman on the statue and she told him to kill Faust (Also shouldn’t I have given the king a name by now?). The father had a clash of loyalties between the woman on the statue and his loyalty to his people and his son but decided to follow the woman’s orders and kill his son. In the balcony arc Faust realizes the betrayal and promptly kills his father. However if you decide to go after the princess then Faust doesn’t know about this.
Now think about it, why was Faust ordered to go alone? Greeting the delegation alone is an extremely stupid tradition no doubt. Maybe the bandits where actually mercenaries? Maybe they were paid to attack to delegation and Faust at the same time. But maybe they got reckless and charged prematurely? Here comes the big plot twist, I imagine the king committing suicide when he found out his son survived. He has a troubled consciousness you see, he was happy when Faust killed him and displayed doubts when he killed Faust in another story option. When he finds out his son survived he commits suicide because he cannot chose between the woman on the statue and his son anymore. His death also means Faust becomes king. That was my plan however is not really perfect. It could potentially mean a shift from individual heroics to more of a army leading story (Going to war with Hystardium and all that) But that could actually be an improvement if done right. But that could easily be avoided by a few other plot twists I guess.
You can of course deviate from this plan if you like to. --Fletcher Peninsula
Sounds like a good story line. Faust has to deal with the woman on the statue also, not to mention the whole war thing. Should keep him occupied ;). I don't really have any ideas currently on that through. Except for the obvious troll involvement. No problems with the whole editing thing also. Currently I am currently writing a description on the Hystardium enemy. They are a rowdy bunch no doubt.
Err spoilers
1 Well Faust did kill his father who was going to enter an alliance with Ugarit. I doubt that Ugarit is very happy about that. Also although Hysta are definitely villains I never really saw Faust as a guardian of justice, if you know what I mean. He shouldn’t really have any moral objections to fighting for them unless they invade his home. I don’t really have the entire mercenary arc plotted in my head, only an vague idea of how it’s going to go. He could always due to the circumstances stop being an merc and go do something else. But Faust will confront Acrom soon, I will add that page soon.
2 So that he can move in on them while they are having sex duh! I mean what else could they be doing in a story like this hahaha.
3 Yea sterilization just has a bad ring to it, didn’t even have my dog neutered. Not really sure honestly about the safe sex thing. I guess they could eat some kind of magic herb or something. But often I just ignore the protection thing. By the way, I read somewhere that the Romans used to have some sort of herb they eat to avoid pregnancy. Logically this herb was soon extinct due to obvious reasons hehehe.
4 Hmm Almedia that great city with the forbidden harem and the beautiful Queen? Well honestly I am not too keen on starting that arc yet. I already did the forbidden harem with the world’s most beautiful women thing twice in the Devils Daughter. And both times the mental image that I had never really translated to paper very well. Feel free to start it on your own if you’d like to of course.
5 Nah your doing good alright, but do you have any specific story ideas of your own? The whole troll horn was a good thing, but anything else that you have planned?
Edit: I don't really thing describing sucking dick as sucking an ice cream cone is an good analogy. With the setting being medieval and all that.
Oddly enough most women in sex stories online seem to be bi-curious, wonder why? I agree however on your analysis that it would be more logical for Corinna to slowly be introduced to lesbian sex. We could turn the possible encounter between Corinna and Lyna into something else, maybe a foreshadowing of Corinna's taste for women, or something about humiliation play. I was actually thinking of suggesting that we name the princess Isolde but lets go with your idea.
"the bastard could grow up and join the army"
Congratulations we have an sequel!
In my mind I was modeling Almedia after the Assyrian empire actually. With the hanging gardens being an harem and being situated at the center of the world. Hyping it as an The El Dorado place would certainly sweeten the deal for sure.
Elves, coming from beyond the sea? Awesome having them be from another world gives them a sense of mystery i like that. Just don't make them sing like Tolkien did hehehe.
Man giving the merc commander Faust last name was just embarrassing. It just hit me, wow Kalandaris thats an awesome name wonder where I got than one from? Then it turns out to be the main characters last name! And yea I agree that Faust having an last name is not really correct using a house name would be better. Also i have never refereed to him as Kaladaris after the first page so if we reintroduce it people might be confused.
One last thing, yes Faust is a German name and you noticed German quality's in the Seven mountains? Wow I was modeling in my mind The Seven mountains after a German state but i never thought that I introduced any German quality's consciously into the text. I was however thinking on using some of nietzsche philosophy's on Faust (However silly they might be) but never did and so I made him more of an patriot with an intress in other cultures.
Um, what twist are you talking about? Helena and Lyna’s devotion? Damn it feels like I am missing something obvious here! Hehehe. Yea WAS has really picked up speed as of late, mostly thanks to you of course. I basically started WAS as a side project to the Devils Daughter and never really worked on it that much, good to see that the story has developed so nicely.
1 Don`t feel bad about the updates, you probably update more frequently then I do anyhow :=). Besides its just a hobby, no time pressure what so ever.
2 Acrom was just a minor captain, a very skilled captain with a fearsome reputation but a captain none the less. Also DAMN that duel was hard to write, so time consuming and complex.
3 About the swamp arc and where Im going with it. Well the story is a CYOA so it could lead basically anywhere. I imagine having one path that ends up kind of like the already established path with Adria and Corinna. one path were Adria dies and one path were Corinna dies. Drastically different outcomes that change the story completely.
4 Hmm thats a hard one... Imagine this.
Adria:was hired by monks wearing necklesses depicting an statue woman. This turns out to be the same woman on the statue in the Kings treasure room. Faust spots the similarities and vola!
Huh, never thought of Makeda as Rhianna although that's definitely an interesting visual representation. Rhianna looks to sly and cute I think, more like an thief than an slave. Hard to say excacly what I imagined Makeda looks like but I would say Naomi campbell with thicker hair, lower scalp hairline and much darker skin than that shiny brownish skin tone Naomi has. Looking forward to the interrogation, not sure where that story arc should go from here honestly, will be interesting to work out some new ideas for the future.
lol, ops, wrote Sharon instead of Lyna. What in the hell was I on last night? Nah stupid mistake, happens more than you might think, but usually I manage to correct those kinds of errors when I reread the text.
