Reply from Kevinsims22

From Create Your Own Story

Revision as of 08:05, 16 May 2020

The great Platypus had to check his talk page history to determine who the message was from, as the author hadn't signed it.

nobody messes with ME, Kevinsims22 had written. you will regret this Platipus!

When Platypus had finished reading this ominous message, lightning struck his house, and the building caught fire. Platypus dumped the rest of his chai tea on the fire engulfing his room. The liquid instantly evaporated, and the flames spread unimpeded.

Sweat dripped down Platypus' brow as he refreshed the Recent Changes tab and saw countless contributions from Kevinsims22. The user had blanked hundreds of pages, including the precious Main Page.

The earth shook, and Platypus ran to his window. A fissure had opened in his back yard. Lava bubbled out of the crevice and onto his lawn, scorching his numerous yard ornaments.

The destruction spurred the great Platypus to action. He vaulted across the room to his PC and quickly navigated to the CYOS Control Panel. Platypus looked up Kevinsims22's IP, quick as lightning, and copy-pasted it into the block IP form.

When he hit enter, the fire extinguished and the quakes ceased. After Platypus had repaired the broken house and blanked pages, all was peaceful. He went to bed, woke up, drank his chai tea, and defended CYOS from spammers with his ban-hammer every day thereafter.

Years later he met Eva, a woman who was almost as much of a grammar Nazi as himself. They fell deeply in love with each other's correctly placed modifiers and parallel sentence structure, and were eventually married. The great Platypus lived happily for many years with his family.

One day, decades later, Platypus rested upon his death bed. He didn't know his death was certain, but knowing his end was surely near, he contemplated the way he'd spent his life. He'd written stories, corrected grammar, and protected CYOS. The great Platypus had started his own family, and made meaningful friendships. He had lived a good life.

The door to Platypus' bed chamber opened. A middle-aged man stood in the doorway aiming a pistol at Platypus' head.

"It's me," the man said, cocking his gun. "Kevinsims22. The guy you don't mess with. After all these years, I've finally tracked you down."

Platypus didn't remember Kevinsims22. Most of the users he blocked faded quickly from his memory, and Kevinsims22 was no different. But after all this time Platypus had realized something.

"I forgive you," was all the great Platypus said. Whatever transgressions Kevinsims22 had committed were small in the scope of everything Platypus had experienced. He felt pity for the poor man who couldn't let go: the user who had spent his life searching for a wiki sysop.

Kevinsims22 didn't lower his gun, nor did he pull the trigger. Since the day of his ban he had pursued the great Platypus, thirsting for revenge. But seeing Platypus in person, on his death bed, he felt his heart soften.

Kevinsims22's arms slackened, and the firearm fell from his fingers. "I forgive you too."

The great Platypus smiled. He had indeed lived a good life.

THE END OF PLATYPUS!?!?