Piggy's Day/To a cold place

From Create Your Own Story

As the elevator opens, you can feel cold air rushing in. The three of you step outside and find yourselves on a very blank looking, white field. For a moment you try to orient yourselves, until you see a group of penguins.

Marine: "Well... the only thing missing now is a sign that reads: 'Welcome to Antarctica'."

Piggy: "I'm actually looking for one right now."

The captain checks his wristwatch.

Captain: "Hey, look. According to my watch, it's just about to turn into the next millenium on Vanuatu."

The marine looks over.

Marine: "You're right, there's ten seconds to go, c'mon let's count!"

Piggy: "Ten."

Marine: "Nine."

Captain: "Eight."

Piggy: "Seven."

Marine: "Six."

Captain: "Five."

Piggy: "Four."

Marine: "Three."

Captain: "Two."

Piggy: "One."

All together: "Happy New Year..."

Captain: "To a failed exploit."

Marine: "To certain death."

Piggy: "This year I promise to leave behind the most magnificent frozen corpse you've ever seen."

You then have a realization.

Piggy: "No, wait... The elevator - it had a button to go one floor up from here!"

Captain: "Up? Where - how could it take us up?"

Piggy: "It's our last chance! In any case it's better than this."

You go inside the elevator, and press the button to go up.

Marine: "I agree with the captain, Piggy. I have a bad feeling about this."

The elevator dings, and the doors open. Ahead of you, you see clouds, and the pearly gates of Heaven.

Piggy: "I... did not expect this."

St. Peter: "Oh, hello. I can see that you are mortals. How did you end up here?"

Captain: "Long story short, we tried to drill to the center of the Earth, ended up in Helt, found our way to this elevator, and ended up here."

Piggy: Can we get in?"

St. Peter: "No, not yet. There's something you need to do."

Marine: "Wait, let me guess..."

St. Peter: "You have to die."

Your heart sinks for a moment. Feeling the exhilarating, warm air and seeing the green fields and streets of gold behind the gates makes you nearly lose your mind.

Piggy: "No... NO!"

St. Peter: "Calm down..."

You burst into tears and start acting spastically.

Piggy: "I DON'T WANNA DIE! NOT AFTER ALL THIS. AFTER WADING THROUGH THE DEPHTS OF HELL AND SEEING THE PEARLY GATES, NOW YOU ASK ME TO GO BACK DOWN?"

St. Peter: "None of you are terrible sinners. You'll get back here after week or so of extensive Helt. You won't even be actively tortured."

Piggy: "It's DEATH that I fear! I can't grasp the idea of taking my last breath - I can't visualize life flashing before my eyes... Hell, I don't even have a soul, will I just lose all life and be left on Earth like a stone!?"

St. Peter comes over and wraps his arm around your neck.

St. Peter: "Piggy, there's a lot of things about christianity that people don't seem to realize. You don't need to be a good person to make it to Heaven, you'll just spend more time in Helt. And you don't even need a soul to make it to Heaven. Heaven is a place for all things, things that don't even need to be alive. There are castles, lakes, forests, entire cities in here. You can take anything close to you in Heaven."

Marine: "Even people?"

St. Peter: "Not people. They still have to go thorugh Helt. But my point is: Piggy, you are eligible to Heaven. As a conscious being, you can even take YOURSELF with you."

You take a look at the elevator, and then back to your companions.

Piggy: "Damn. I never thought I'd be driven to suicide."

The following day, a helicopter arrives on South Pole. It's a rescue team, who found the emergency signal.

Rescuer 1: "The signal leads to this metal box."

The other rescuer opens the elevator doors with a crowbar.

Rescuer 2: "Let's take a look inside... AAH!"

The rescuers are shocked seeing your frozen corpses laying on the elevator floor. The frostbite has eaten away your faces to the point of no recognition, and you've huddled together for warmth.

Rescuer 1: "Don't worry. They're in Heaven now."

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