Piggy's Day/KeskusHallinto

From Create Your Own Story

KeskusHallinto is a finnish heavy metal band, active in the years 4207-4230. The three-man band took much of its image from new-medieval machoism, and as such they had a very dark and violent sound. The bassist-singer Janne Kuolema Ilmarinmuutos used a bass that weighed 150 kilos, much of it due to the headstock being made out of an anvil.

Piggy: "This seems interesting. I've always wanted to expand my musical tastes to the more heavy spectrum."

Record store employee: "Yeah sure, man. Just read the warning labels."

You check the back of the CD. It says: "Warning! Listen with caution - usage with headphones may cause excessive ear bleeding. Other side effects may include nausea, vomiting, headache, suicide and participation in satanic rituals. Ask your doctor for reference on recommended decibel amounts." However, this caution is written in finnish, so you don't understand any of it.

Piggy: "I think I can handle it."

You go home and play it with an old boombox you found once. The music is quite loud at times, but you enjoy it very much. Then, Swine comes into the room, holding his ears:

Swine: "WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?"

Piggy: "I found a new album at the record store! It's pretty great, don't you think?"

Swine: "TURN IT DOWN! THE WALLS ARE CRACKING ALREADY!"

Piggy: "What?"

Swine: "I SAID TURN IT DOWN, YOU NUMBSKULL!"

Piggy: "TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?"

Just then, you are crushed to death by a DJ Snake crashing through your roof with a backflip.

ENDING 144