Reach for the closest blunt object

From Create Your Own Story

You realize that the closest blunt object is in fact the huge dildo that you have in your hand. As your baby's momma steps closer, you come out swinging like Sammy Sosa. BAKKA! You slap her with a crushing backhand. Her head snaps up and back with the force of a #12 bear trap. The blow sends her reeling, and you use the opportunity to draw back your hand and cold cock the bitch with another blow to the face. CRACK! goes her jaw as the floppy phallus slams into bone. The slut is now bleeding from the nose and mouth, and can barely speak, but she pulls out a cell phone and appears to be dialing 911.

Aim for the phone with your synthetic phallus
Continue beating her about the head untill she is unconcious
Sooth the injuries of your batterd spouse with soft words and tender kisses