User talk:Wolvesatyourdoor
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I really liked how those two went as well; I've just gotten back from a trip to New York and I was going to start working on them again, I'll make sure to work on the foxes Wolvesatyourdoor: 7/11/10 | I really liked how those two went as well; I've just gotten back from a trip to New York and I was going to start working on them again, I'll make sure to work on the foxes Wolvesatyourdoor: 7/11/10 | ||
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| + | I wouldn't say that your work sucks. That's a bit harsh. You do have things to learn, but you're on the right track, storywise. Once you've got some of the technical stuff down, I'm confident that you'll be doing some pretty good stuff. Be particularly careful about punctuating with dialogue. That seems to throw a lot of people. | ||
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| + | He reaches down with a strong hand and tears your shirt off, leaving it in shreds on the floor, a small smirk appears on his face at the sight of your lean body "Not bad..." he said, poking your flat stomach, an action that makes you blush and look down at your feet "You don't work out much do you..." He takes his own shirt off, showing off his muscular body "Now you see...this is what you want..." | ||
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| + | He reaches down with a strong hand and tears your shirt off, leaving it in shreds on the floor. A small smirk appears on his face at the sight of your lean body. "Not bad..." he says, poking your flat stomach, an action that makes you blush and look down at your feet. "You don't work out much do you?" He takes his own shirt off, showing off his muscular body. "Now you see... this is what you want..." | ||
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| + | --[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 12:47, 12 July 2010 (UTC) | ||
Revision as of 12:47, 12 July 2010
I'm not ordinarily into the whole furry thing but personally I was kinda interested in the male and female fox story lines. I'm not really the best person to advise on this sort of thing but the stuff of yours I have read seemed pretty decent. It probably could use a little polish but its better than some of the stuff I have seen.
I really liked how those two went as well; I've just gotten back from a trip to New York and I was going to start working on them again, I'll make sure to work on the foxes Wolvesatyourdoor: 7/11/10
I wouldn't say that your work sucks. That's a bit harsh. You do have things to learn, but you're on the right track, storywise. Once you've got some of the technical stuff down, I'm confident that you'll be doing some pretty good stuff. Be particularly careful about punctuating with dialogue. That seems to throw a lot of people.
Original:
He reaches down with a strong hand and tears your shirt off, leaving it in shreds on the floor, a small smirk appears on his face at the sight of your lean body "Not bad..." he said, poking your flat stomach, an action that makes you blush and look down at your feet "You don't work out much do you..." He takes his own shirt off, showing off his muscular body "Now you see...this is what you want..."
Editted:
He reaches down with a strong hand and tears your shirt off, leaving it in shreds on the floor. A small smirk appears on his face at the sight of your lean body. "Not bad..." he says, poking your flat stomach, an action that makes you blush and look down at your feet. "You don't work out much do you?" He takes his own shirt off, showing off his muscular body. "Now you see... this is what you want..."
--Platypus 12:47, 12 July 2010 (UTC)
