User talk:Darky - Revision history

Fredhot16 at 13:26, 4 April 2016

Fredhot16 — Mon, 04 Apr 2016 13:26:00 GMT

←Older revision		Revision as of 13:26, 4 April 2016
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	Erm...well, at least we've turned away from the direction I thought it was going. Although the choices you've left in the "Dan starts the interrogation" tell me that this will soon go into Adult CYOS territory. Is any part of her clothes slipping down really all that necessary? Also, a feather? Why did he come with that? What the hell was he planning with that? Also, a little suggestion: a little prologue that establishes her relationship with her friends, how they set up the whole thing, her own personality, etc. You know, backstory. It'll help. And maybe more substantial description for the other characters. What, we get to know Kelly's cup sizes but not Paul's or Dan's? -[[User:Fredhot16]] 13:15, 28 March 2016		Erm...well, at least we've turned away from the direction I thought it was going. Although the choices you've left in the "Dan starts the interrogation" tell me that this will soon go into Adult CYOS territory. Is any part of her clothes slipping down really all that necessary? Also, a feather? Why did he come with that? What the hell was he planning with that? Also, a little suggestion: a little prologue that establishes her relationship with her friends, how they set up the whole thing, her own personality, etc. You know, backstory. It'll help. And maybe more substantial description for the other characters. What, we get to know Kelly's cup sizes but not Paul's or Dan's? -[[User:Fredhot16]] 13:15, 28 March 2016

-	Ah, crap. You've already done it. And my fears were correct. Dan is a ~~sex offender~~. Just a simple question: why? Why does Dan need to be like this? Why the hell did he choose to join this LARP? Just...why? I genuinely want to know. Does it really have to go this way?-[[User:Fredhot16]] 13:15, 28 March 2016	+	Ah, crap. You've already done it. And my fears were correct. Dan is a bastard. Just a simple question: why? Why does Dan need to be like this? Why the hell did he choose to join this LARP? Just...why? I genuinely want to know. Does it really have to go this way?-[[User:Fredhot16]] 13:15, 28 March 2016

	==Dirty Me's talk==		==Dirty Me's talk==

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Sun, 03 Apr 2016 09:42:50 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 09:42, 3 April 2016
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	Hmm, I didn't actually mean I would create a path. I honestly agree a bit with Fredhot. You put this in the mature category, then started making paths that had the only girl suddenly end up losing clothes. I am not sure this will be able to stay in the mature category if you go the way it seems you are going. What I actually meant was, I could try to help improve the actual story flow. Please check out my changes on [[Kelly goes to the camp]] and let me know what you think, and if you would like me to also modify others. And please note, if you want it to be an "adult" story, I don't care, that is up to you. But it means you will need to move it to the proper maturity area. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:29, 31 March 2016 (UTC)		Hmm, I didn't actually mean I would create a path. I honestly agree a bit with Fredhot. You put this in the mature category, then started making paths that had the only girl suddenly end up losing clothes. I am not sure this will be able to stay in the mature category if you go the way it seems you are going. What I actually meant was, I could try to help improve the actual story flow. Please check out my changes on [[Kelly goes to the camp]] and let me know what you think, and if you would like me to also modify others. And please note, if you want it to be an "adult" story, I don't care, that is up to you. But it means you will need to move it to the proper maturity area. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:29, 31 March 2016 (UTC)
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		+	The sad part is, I thought about expanding it alot more. I held myself back to try to prevent basically turning it into my story, rather than yours xD

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Kelly goes to the camp update note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Thu, 31 Mar 2016 09:29:17 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Kelly goes to the camp update note

←Older revision		Revision as of 09:29, 31 March 2016
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	I have seen some potential ways to improve the story text, not change your path, but to add more descriptions, to your Kelly story. Would you like me to add? My writing tone can be different than yours, and I cannot promise I will change every page, that is why I wanted to check. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 13:32, 29 March 2016 (UTC)		I have seen some potential ways to improve the story text, not change your path, but to add more descriptions, to your Kelly story. Would you like me to add? My writing tone can be different than yours, and I cannot promise I will change every page, that is why I wanted to check. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 13:32, 29 March 2016 (UTC)
		+
		+	Hmm, I didn't actually mean I would create a path. I honestly agree a bit with Fredhot. You put this in the mature category, then started making paths that had the only girl suddenly end up losing clothes. I am not sure this will be able to stay in the mature category if you go the way it seems you are going. What I actually meant was, I could try to help improve the actual story flow. Please check out my changes on [[Kelly goes to the camp]] and let me know what you think, and if you would like me to also modify others. And please note, if you want it to be an "adult" story, I don't care, that is up to you. But it means you will need to move it to the proper maturity area. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:29, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Tue, 29 Mar 2016 13:32:23 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 13:32, 29 March 2016
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	lol, just part of the story xD Not something literal. Of course the character wants to show herself off, but that doesn't mean she is always happy about it, especially when, like in your branch, it means being not only recorded, but also broadcast all over the internet and having her friend even see it. It is supposed to be discrete, not blatant. So she will react differently to doing something that is so obvious. Just the different mental thoughts. As for any punishments, well, not really that kind of a story, but you will notice there is room for more options at the end of the show. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 18:12, 26 March 2016 (UTC)		lol, just part of the story xD Not something literal. Of course the character wants to show herself off, but that doesn't mean she is always happy about it, especially when, like in your branch, it means being not only recorded, but also broadcast all over the internet and having her friend even see it. It is supposed to be discrete, not blatant. So she will react differently to doing something that is so obvious. Just the different mental thoughts. As for any punishments, well, not really that kind of a story, but you will notice there is room for more options at the end of the show. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 18:12, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
		+
		+	I have seen some potential ways to improve the story text, not change your path, but to add more descriptions, to your Kelly story. Would you like me to add? My writing tone can be different than yours, and I cannot promise I will change every page, that is why I wanted to check. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 13:32, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Fredhot16 at 18:24, 28 March 2016

Fredhot16 — Mon, 28 Mar 2016 18:24:17 GMT

←Older revision		Revision as of 18:24, 28 March 2016
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	Also, apologies for the delay in editing. I had my own CYOA to set up and other work to do. -[[User:Fredhot16]]		Also, apologies for the delay in editing. I had my own CYOA to set up and other work to do. -[[User:Fredhot16]]
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		+	Erm...well, at least we've turned away from the direction I thought it was going. Although the choices you've left in the "Dan starts the interrogation" tell me that this will soon go into Adult CYOS territory. Is any part of her clothes slipping down really all that necessary? Also, a feather? Why did he come with that? What the hell was he planning with that? Also, a little suggestion: a little prologue that establishes her relationship with her friends, how they set up the whole thing, her own personality, etc. You know, backstory. It'll help. And maybe more substantial description for the other characters. What, we get to know Kelly's cup sizes but not Paul's or Dan's? -[[User:Fredhot16]] 13:15, 28 March 2016
		+
		+	Ah, crap. You've already done it. And my fears were correct. Dan is a sex offender. Just a simple question: why? Why does Dan need to be like this? Why the hell did he choose to join this LARP? Just...why? I genuinely want to know. Does it really have to go this way?-[[User:Fredhot16]] 13:15, 28 March 2016

	==Dirty Me's talk==		==Dirty Me's talk==

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Sat, 26 Mar 2016 18:12:05 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 18:12, 26 March 2016
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	Okay, finally finished. Don't forget to read all the way to the end. I have an interesting twist for you at the end. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 06:03, 26 March 2016 (UTC)		Okay, finally finished. Don't forget to read all the way to the end. I have an interesting twist for you at the end. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 06:03, 26 March 2016 (UTC)
		+
		+	lol, just part of the story xD Not something literal. Of course the character wants to show herself off, but that doesn't mean she is always happy about it, especially when, like in your branch, it means being not only recorded, but also broadcast all over the internet and having her friend even see it. It is supposed to be discrete, not blatant. So she will react differently to doing something that is so obvious. Just the different mental thoughts. As for any punishments, well, not really that kind of a story, but you will notice there is room for more options at the end of the show. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 18:12, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Sat, 26 Mar 2016 06:03:31 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 06:03, 26 March 2016
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	Sure, more options are always better. Add as many as you want. Not that I will get to them immediately, but I will get to them. Sorry, I am almost done, just the final parts to go, but not quiet yet and it is bed time. I will try to conclude this part tomorrow. It has been a long part, with the way it needs to flow. lol, think it already has almost 5,000 words. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 17:41, 25 March 2016 (UTC)		Sure, more options are always better. Add as many as you want. Not that I will get to them immediately, but I will get to them. Sorry, I am almost done, just the final parts to go, but not quiet yet and it is bed time. I will try to conclude this part tomorrow. It has been a long part, with the way it needs to flow. lol, think it already has almost 5,000 words. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 17:41, 25 March 2016 (UTC)
		+
		+	Okay, finally finished. Don't forget to read all the way to the end. I have an interesting twist for you at the end. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 06:03, 26 March 2016 (UTC)

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Fri, 25 Mar 2016 17:44:17 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 17:44, 25 March 2016
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	Darky, I have started the option you selected. You should check it out and let me know what you think. I am not done with it yet, but hopefully will be today. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:05, 25 March 2016 (UTC)		Darky, I have started the option you selected. You should check it out and let me know what you think. I am not done with it yet, but hopefully will be today. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:05, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

-	Sure, more options are always better. Sorry, I am almost done, just the final parts to go, but not quiet yet and it is bed time. I will try to conclude this part tomorrow. It has been a long part, with the way it needs to flow. lol, think it already has ~~over 10~~,000 words. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 17:41, 25 March 2016 (UTC)	+	Sure, more options are always better. Add as many as you want. Not that I will get to them immediately, but I will get to them. Sorry, I am almost done, just the final parts to go, but not quiet yet and it is bed time. I will try to conclude this part tomorrow. It has been a long part, with the way it needs to flow. lol, think it already has almost 5,000 words. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 17:41, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Fri, 25 Mar 2016 17:41:40 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 17:41, 25 March 2016
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	Darky, I have started the option you selected. You should check it out and let me know what you think. I am not done with it yet, but hopefully will be today. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:05, 25 March 2016 (UTC)		Darky, I have started the option you selected. You should check it out and let me know what you think. I am not done with it yet, but hopefully will be today. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:05, 25 March 2016 (UTC)
		+
		+	Sure, more options are always better. Sorry, I am almost done, just the final parts to go, but not quiet yet and it is bed time. I will try to conclude this part tomorrow. It has been a long part, with the way it needs to flow. lol, think it already has over 10,000 words. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 17:41, 25 March 2016 (UTC)

DirtyMeStoryTime: /* Dirty Me's talk */ Note

DirtyMeStoryTime — Fri, 25 Mar 2016 09:05:32 GMT

Dirty Me's talk: Note

←Older revision		Revision as of 09:05, 25 March 2016
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	Well, you can go to the first page of [[The Exhibitionist]] and put the option exactly how you want. Just write it the way you would write the page link, and additional details, well, on my page or the talk page of [[The Exhibitionist]]. So guess now you just need to write the option for me ^.^--[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 03:10, 19 March 2016 (UTC)		Well, you can go to the first page of [[The Exhibitionist]] and put the option exactly how you want. Just write it the way you would write the page link, and additional details, well, on my page or the talk page of [[The Exhibitionist]]. So guess now you just need to write the option for me ^.^--[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 03:10, 19 March 2016 (UTC)
		+
		+	Darky, I have started the option you selected. You should check it out and let me know what you think. I am not done with it yet, but hopefully will be today. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime\|Dirty Me]] 09:05, 25 March 2016 (UTC)