Kaiden

From Create Your Own Story

YOU: It... It was Kaiden. Maybe it was something about the low flickering light of his orange computer screen, or the way he'd wipe the sweat off his brow, or the way he'd whine about his biotic training backstory...Or maybe it was just because he reminded me of Carth Onasi.

MIRANDA (Sympathetically): He reminded us ALL of Carth Onasi.

JACOB: He didn't remind me of jack. I don't know who the hell you're talking about.

YOU: We got into talking... into flirting... I'd click on every paragon option I could, and occaisionally he'd say something like "Maybe I misread the signals" or "I-I'm looking forward to some shore leave, Commander" in the middle of his biotic stories. Something to let me know he cared. Finally he came up to my quarters before the final mission and made some awkward come-ons. I said yes, and got to see a half-minute cinematic of his ass before fading up to me in bed next to him.

JACOB: Boo-yah!

You high five.

JACOB: Hahaha, but yeah, it doesn't actually make any difference.

YOU: What? What do you mean?

JACOB: Well, Kaiden just acts like a jerk when you meet him- then I think he sends you an email about it. That's about it.

YOU: That jerk! He was my first Paramour!

MIRANDA (Giving you a hug): You're too good for him, Shepard.

YOU: God damn.

JACOB: Ok, last question. Who'd you leave to die on Virmire?

YOU: Um... No duh?

JACOB: Well, yeah, obviously, but just for the record.

You say:

• It was Kaiden
• It was Ashley