Create Your Own Story - User contributions [en]

Miguel Vasquez

2010-08-08T00:16:56Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Miguel Vasquez is a hispanic gangster. Full name: Miguel Paco Vasquez Mother's maiden name: Mendoza Age: 37 Hair color: Black Eye color: Brown Address: 12 Riffraff W…'

Miguel Vasquez is a hispanic gangster.

Full name: Miguel Paco Vasquez

Mother's maiden name: Mendoza

Age: 37

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Address: 12 Riffraff Way, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Thug

Aliases: Sparky

Height: 5 feet, 11 inches

Weight: 348 pounds

Disposition: Quiet

Useful skills: Hotwiring

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 2

2010-08-08T00:13:45Z

Nalanhata:

The group makes a haughty approach.

"Gimme all yo' billz, Holmes," instructs [[Esay Holmes|one of the gangsters with a particularly defiant air about him]]. You simply stare belligerently, preparing to make your move.

"Didn't you hear me? I said, gimme the money! You wanna die Esay?!"

You pull the two desert eagles out from under your t-shirt and unload one round, hitting [[Miguel Vasquez|a burly hoodlum with a do-rag]] in the chest. The leader of the posse jumps back, armed only with a crowbar, as you aim at his face. The gangsters disperse, terrified, some ducking into rows of cars to cover their escape, and others running frantically past you out of the parking garage.

Your victim has collapsed to his knees, wheezing and clutching the wound. It looks as if you've grazed his right lung.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 1 1|Shoot the poor bastard again]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 2|Leave him and go up to level 2]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 1 3|Make that level 3]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 2

2010-08-08T00:11:32Z

Nalanhata:

The group makes a haughty approach.

"Gimme all yo' billz, Holmes," instructs [[Esay Holmes|one of the gangsters with a particularly defiant air about him]]. You simply stare belligerently, preparing to make your move.

"Didn't you hear me? I said, gimme the money! You wanna die Esay?!"

You pull the two desert eagles out from under your t-shirt and unload one round, hitting a burly hoodlum with a do-rag in the chest. The leader of the posse jumps back, armed only with a crowbar, as you aim at his face. The gangsters disperse, terrified, some ducking into rows of cars to cover their escape, and others running frantically past you out of the parking garage.

Your victim has collapsed to his knees, wheezing and clutching the wound. It looks as if you've grazed his right lung.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 1 1|Shoot the poor bastard again]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 2|Leave him and go up to level 2]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 1 3|Make that level 3]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Homer Esay

2010-08-08T00:09:56Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Homer Esay is a hispanic gangster. Full name: Homer Veracruzana Esay Mother's maiden name: de la Taco Age: 23 Hair color: Black Eye color: Brown Address: 92 Federal …'

Homer Esay is a hispanic gangster.

Full name: Homer Veracruzana Esay

Mother's maiden name: de la Taco

Age: 23

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Address: 92 Federal Prison Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Thug

Aliases: Sub-Moronic Homie

Height: 5 feet, 8 inches

Weight: 208 pounds

Disposition: Uncouth

Useful skills: Tire-changing

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Esay Holmes

2010-08-08T00:06:48Z

Nalanhata:

Esay Holmes is a hispanic gangster.

Full name: Esay Pancho Holmes

Mother's maiden name: Cruz

Age: 26

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Brown

Address: 8 Sockpuppet Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Hoodlum

Aliases: Big Esay

Height: 5 feet, 3 inches

Weight: 213 pounds

Disposition: Malevolent

Useful skills: Armed robbery

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Esay Holmes

2010-08-08T00:04:34Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Esay Holmes is a hispanic gangster. Full name: Esay Pancho Holmes Mother's maiden name: Cruz Age: 26 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Brown Address: 8 Street, Hoboken, N…'

Esay Holmes is a hispanic gangster.

Full name: Esay Pancho Holmes

Mother's maiden name: Cruz

Age: 26

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Brown

Address: 8 Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Free Craigslist stuff harvester

Aliases: Outback Joe, Appalachia Joe

Height: 6 feet, 2 inches

Weight: 247 pounds

Disposition: Paranoid

Useful skills: I'll list them when I have a spare 5 hours

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Steve 2 1 1 1

2010-08-07T23:57:20Z

Nalanhata:

Immediately, you remove your two desert eagles from under your t-shirt.

"Back off, or I'll shoot," you tell the hoodlums.

"Woah, woah, take it easy, Holmes," says [[Esay Holmes|one of the gangsters]]. "We're just selling, uh cologne."

"YEAH, YEAH, COLOGNE, SMELLS LIKE A FRIGGIN' NICE-ASS SPRING BR--" extrapolates [[Homer Esay|another thug]] before being silenced by a jab to the gut.

"But, uh, I can see you don't need any. We'll just be on our way."

At this, the gang hustles past you and out of the parking garage.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 2|Go to level 2]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 3|Go to level 3]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Ewan O'Muenster

2010-08-07T23:47:40Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Ewan O'Muenster is a boozey hobo. Full name: Ewan Shaun O'Muenster Mother's maiden name: MacClintock! Age: 33 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Blue Address: A mobile box…'

Ewan O'Muenster is a boozey hobo.

Full name: Ewan Shaun O'Muenster

Mother's maiden name: MacClintock!

Age: 33

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Blue

Address: A mobile box, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Hobo

Height: 5 feet, 10 inches

Weight: 210 pounds

Disposition: Drunken

Useful skills: Croquet

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Steve 2 1

2010-08-07T23:43:30Z

Nalanhata:

Deciding to get out of this city, which you fathom will soon be infested with the undead, you nonchalantly but quickly head around the corner to the parking garage where your car is located. The bronze '65 GTO is the only thing you own that's not a piece of shit. Not wishing to attract attention, you conceal your weapons under your shirt.

Halfway to the garage, you are stopped by a [[Ewan O'Muenster|hobo]].

"Shpare shum change?" the grubby man asks as he stumbles in your direction, hand extended, smelling of cheap gin and broken dreams. "Hey! Hwhy'sh yer shtomach shaped like a boxh and two handgunsh?"

"Don't bother me," you warn, in a cliche, sullen-unimposing-tough-guy-with-hair-in-his-face-despite-the-fact-that-he's-wearing-a-bloody-headband type manner. The bum instantly gets out of your way.

Before long, you reach the parking garage. But which level did you park on?
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 1|Level 1]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 2|Level 2]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1 3|Level 3]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Joe

2010-08-07T23:40:33Z

Nalanhata:

Joe is a resourceful fellow with friends in low, low places.

Full name: You don't need to know

Mother's maiden name: Lamont

Age: 25

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Blue

Address: 47 Quist Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Free Craigslist stuff harvester

Aliases: Outback Joe, Appalachia Joe

Height: 6 feet, 2 inches

Weight: 247 pounds

Disposition: Paranoid

Useful skills: Smashing things, application of duct tape, ranting about conspiracies, sit-ups, fine sense of smell, reading smudged text on 60-year-old vacuum tubes, caricaturing, boxing, silly accents, lack of table manners, night vision, leaving misleading footprints, ranting about communist conspiracies, booting fucked-up hard-drives, chuckling while his friend Steve looks at him with narrowed eyes and shakes his head, kicking ass, PLANNING FOR THE ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE, et cetera.

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Joe

2010-08-07T04:32:40Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Joe is a resourceful fellow with friends in low, low places. Full name: You don't need to know Mother's maiden name: Lamont Age: 25 Hair color: Blonde Eye color: Blue …'

Easy Svetlana

2010-08-07T04:23:57Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Easy Svetlana is a vagrant who dies of The Clap right as Steve encounters her. Full name: Svetlana Earl Bond Mother's maiden name: Crazytrainin Age: 36 Hair color: Blond…'

Easy Svetlana is a vagrant who dies of The Clap right as Steve encounters her.

Full name: Svetlana Earl Bond

Mother's maiden name: Crazytrainin

Age: 36

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Jaundicey

Address: The lightpost in front of 78 Red Light Road, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Vagrant

Aliases: Nut-Nuker

Height: 5 feet, 7 inches

Weight: Not enough pounds

Disposition: Unsavory

Useful skills: Few and far between

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Steve 1 1

2010-08-07T04:18:16Z

Nalanhata:

You stomp on the man's face with your cleat, but he seems not to give a damn. After a few moments of doing this, you finally manage to bust open his skull, and the assailant finally falls still. Whaddya know! Ruth got so terrified that she choked on her own sarcasm and died.

Spooked by the violent display, you rush out the door, through the restaurant, and onto the streets of the city. Decrepit whorehouses and parking lots full of garbage trucks blot out your view of the smog-filled horizon. The street is bustling, full of prostitutes, crack dealers, and mafia honchos, several of whom are being slain by drive-by gunmen at this very moment. You can feel in your bones that the usual state of affairs in Hoboken belies a great and terrible evil, just waiting to erupt into the world. As an ardent videogame enthusiast, you know that the zombie apocalypse has begun.

As you consider your course of action, a [[Easy Svetlana|boozey vagrant]] carrying a bloody headband, a pair of fingerless gloves, dual desert eagles and a case chock full of battle-ready Molotov cocktails collapses near you.

Now you're in business.

A few ideas on what to do next cross your mind. Your first instinct is to go back to your shabby apartment, board it up, and wait until this all blows over. You also consider seeking out your friend [[Joe]], who's a paranoid madman. If anyone's prepared for this, it'll be him, and at the very least, you know he owns several weapons which he knows his way around. Then again, it might be safest to flee Hoboken altogether.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 1|Leave the city]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 2|Hide out]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2 3|Find Joe]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Steve 1 2

2010-08-07T04:16:10Z

Nalanhata:

You stomp on the man's face with your fluffy bunny slipper. In doing so, you slip and slide across the greasy floor under the fridge. Before you know it, a giant flying cat with a large head knocks over the fridge, hooks your torso with its claw, and flings you down through the floor, straight to the basement of an eighteenth-century Polish bar. You're surrounded by booze kegs.

What the Hell now?
*[[LBDAC fatass fdghdfgfdfgdfertertfghfghggfdgdfghbbbfhdghagsmurf|Snag some booze]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 1 2 2|Stop taking Tylenol PM]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Steve 1 2

2010-08-07T04:15:31Z

Nalanhata:

You stomp on the man's face with your fluffy bunny slipper. In doing so, you slip and slide across the greasy floor under the fridge. Before you know it, a [[Facecat|giant flying cat]] with a large head knocks over the fridge, hooks your torso with its claw, and flings you down through the floor, straight to the basement of an eighteenth-century Polish bar. You're surrounded by booze kegs.

What the Hell now?
*[[LBDAC fatass fdghdfgfdfgdfertertfghfghggfdgdfghbbbfhdghagsmurf|Snag some booze]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 1 2 2|Stop taking Tylenol PM]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Jimbo Pointytoe

2010-08-07T04:13:59Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Jimbo Pointytoe is an unlucky patron of the Pungent Mussel Diner who has been poisoned by bad scallops. He is also a ZOMBIE!! Full name: Jimbo Bubba Pointytoe Mother's maiden…'

Jimbo Pointytoe is an unlucky patron of the Pungent Mussel Diner who has been poisoned by bad scallops. He is also a ZOMBIE!!

Full name: Jimbo Bubba Pointytoe

Mother's maiden name: Ho-Tep

Age: 31

Hair color: Green

Eye color: Necrosis

Address: Your face, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Clandestine brewer

Height: 6 feet, 4 inches

Weight: 275 pounds

Disposition: Carefree

Useful skills: Hunting, trapping, brewing moonshine

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Ruth Silver

2010-08-07T04:08:56Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Ruth Silver is a waitress who knows Steve Legras and wishes she didn't. Full name: Ruthann Penelope Silver Mother's maiden name: Vic Age: 22 Hair color: Brown Eye color:…'

Ruth Silver is a waitress who knows Steve Legras and wishes she didn't.

Full name: Ruthann Penelope Silver

Mother's maiden name: Vic

Age: 22

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: It varies

Address: 845 Carjacking Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Waitress

Aliases: Stupid bitch

Height: 2 inches

Weight: 1 ounce

Disposition: Bitchy

Useful skills: Speed-reading

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Steve 'Backflip' Legras

2010-08-07T04:05:06Z

Nalanhata:

Steve is a competent line-cook and an ex-marine. He's a bit of a douchebag and has no tolerance for stereotyping punk rockers, but you can bet he's got a better shot than most when it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse.

Full name: Stephen Joseph Legras

Mother's maiden name: Lebouef

Age: 27

Hair color: Dark brown

Eye color: Brown

Address: 56 Junkie Road, Apt. 287, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Line-cook

Aliases: Backflip

Height: 5 feet, 8 inches

Weight: 217 pounds

Disposition: Douchey

Useful skills: Marksmanship, ninja tricks, Left 4 Dead 2, cooking

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Steve 'Backflip' Legras

2010-08-07T04:02:55Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Steve is a competent line-cook and an ex-marine. He's a bit of a douchebag and has no tolerance for stereotyping punk rockers, but you can bet he's got a better shot than most wh…'

Steve is a competent line-cook and an ex-marine. He's a bit of a douchebag and has no tolerance for stereotyping punk rockers, but you can bet he's got a better shot than most when it comes to surviving the zombie apocalypse.

Full name: Stephen Joseph Legras

Mother's maiden name: Lebouef

Age: 29

Hair color: Dark brown

Eye color: Brown

Address: Some shitty one-room apartment, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Line-cook

Aliases: Backflip

Height: 5 feet, 8 inches

Weight: 217 pounds

Disposition: Douchey

Useful skills: Marksmanship, ninja tricks, Left 4 Dead 2, cooking

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Big Gordy Reamass

2010-08-07T03:55:04Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Gordy Reamass is the head chef at the Pungeant Mussel Diner, and Steve's boss. The two are know to quarrel on a regular basis. Full name: Gordon Harald Kwetniak-Reamass Mothe…'

Gordy Reamass is the head chef at the Pungeant Mussel Diner, and Steve's boss. The two are know to quarrel on a regular basis.

Full name: Gordon Harald Kwetniak-Reamass

Mother's maiden name: Reamass

Age: 39

Hair color: Light brown

Eye color: Blue

Address: 756 Fucking Pathetic Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Chef

Aliases: Big Gordy

Height: 6 feet, 1 inch

Weight: 242 pounds

Disposition: Hardass

Useful skills: Cooking, shouting

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Start 2

2010-08-07T03:49:40Z

Nalanhata:

"TWO PANCAKE NO SYRUP FORTY-SEVEN BACON ½ OMELET DU FROMAGE!" orders the head chef, [[Big Gordy Reamass]]. It's breakfast rush time at the Pungent Mussel Diner, and you're lagging sorely behind. You toss an order of pork sausages into a pan of boiling water, almost ready to send out the meal from ten tickets ago.

You're [[Steve 'Backflip' Legras]], a 27-year-old line cook renting a ratty-ass apartment in downtown Hoboken. At the age of 18, you signed up for a 6-year hitch in the Marines and ended up as a sniper in Afghanistan, where you were tarred and feathered by poppy farmers after you tried to make off with the harvest. Though you escaped with your life, your once-beautiful complexion has been suffering ever since.

"Goddammit, Steve!" shouts a waitress into the kitchen. It's [[Ruth Silver]], a grudging aquaintance of yours. Since you met her at a temp job working at the dock, you've been put-off by the fact that she's a short, bitchy know-it-all. "Your scallops just made some guy's jaw fall off!"

You've never seen scallops cause anyone's jaw to fall off, but, having lived in Hoboken for a couple years now, you'd expect that this is the place for it to happen. Still, the scallops are fresh, and you're pretty sure you cooked them well.

"Lemme see this!" you shout back, sticking your head out the window into the restaurant.

"He's right, uh..." Ruth trails off, not seeing the unhappy customer at his seat. As she turns back to you to say something else, a bestial figure rolls over the counter and seizes the waitress, dragging her to the floor. It's the [[Jimbo Pointytoe|man without a jaw]]!

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Steve 1|Help Ruth]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2|Skedaddle]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 3|Go back to cooking]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Start 2

2010-08-07T03:49:08Z

Nalanhata:

"TWO PANCAKE NO SYRUP FORTY-SEVEN BACON ½ OMELET DU FROMAGE!" orders the head chef, [[Big Gordy Reamass]]. It's breakfast rush time at the Pungent Mussel Diner, and you're lagging sorely behind. You toss an order of pork sausages into a pan of boiling water, almost ready to send out the meal from ten tickets ago.

You're [[Steve 'Backflip' Legras]], a 27-year-old line cook renting a ratty-ass apartment in downtown Hoboken. At the age of 18, you signed up for a 6-year hitch in the Marines and ended up as a sniper in Afghanistan, where you were tarred and feathered by poppy farmers after you tried to make off with the harvest. Though you escaped with your life, your once-beautiful complexion has been suffering ever since.

"Goddammit, Steve!" shouts a waitress into the kitchen. It's [[Ruth Silver]], a grudging aquaintance of yours. Since you met her at a temp job working at the dock, you've been put-off by the fact that she's a short, bitchy know-it-all. "Your scallops just made some guy's jaw fall off!"

You've never seen scallops cause anyone's jaw to fall off, but, having lived in Hoboken for a couple years now, you'd expect that this is the place for it to happen. Still, the scallops are fresh, and you're pretty sure you cooked them well.

"Lemme see this!" you shout back, sticking your head out the window into the restaurant.

"He's right, uh..." Ruth trails off, not seeing the unhappy customer at his seat. As she turns back to you to say something else, a bestial figure rolls over the counter and seizes the waitress, dragging her to the floor. It's the man without a jaw!

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Steve 1|Help Ruth]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 2|Skedaddle]]
*[[Hoboken Steve 3|Go back to cooking]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Slim Johnny Fatass

2010-08-07T03:47:31Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Slim Johnny Fatass is a tinseltown honcho. Full name: John Joseph Fatass Mother's maiden name: Sawblade Age: 45 Hair color: Black Eye color: Blue Address: 467 Grend…'

Slim Johnny Fatass is a tinseltown honcho.

Full name: John Joseph Fatass

Mother's maiden name: Sawblade

Age: 45

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Blue

Address: 467 Grendel Avenue, Burbank, California

Occupation: Tinseltown honcho

Aliases: Slim Johnny Fatass

Height: 5 feet, 4 inches

Weight: 358 pounds

Disposition: Fast-talking

Useful skills: Talent spotting, demanding coffee

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 2 3

2010-08-07T03:42:04Z

Nalanhata:

You step cautiously out of your mother's musty house onto the dangerous streets of Hoboken. Dilapidated apartment buildings and crumbling warehouses blot out most of your view of the smog-filled horizon.

Suddenly, you are approached by a [[Slim Johnny Fatass|man who is dressed very much like a pimp]].

"Hey, are you a stoner?"

What do you say?
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3 1|"Yes!"]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3 2|"Up yours!"]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Hal 2 2 2

2010-08-07T03:40:55Z

Nalanhata:

You eat some pot brownies, which give you a serious case of the munchies. You check the refridgerator again, but there's only one other thing to eat around here...

You eat the old cake, which is vanilla-flavored with some sort of fruity frosting. You realize all too late that the cake was moldy, and strange things begin to happen. First, things start turning purple. Then, crocodiles start coming out of the floor. Next, you get the inexplicable feeling that if you sit down, you're going to die.

Distraught, you step onto the porch into the streets of Hoboken. The scents of garbage and cologne fill your nostrils. You hop on your bicycle, which is made entirely of chewing gum, careful not to lower your ass onto the seat, and pedal about a half-mile down the amorphous, polka-dotted sidewalk to the hospital, where [[Geezer Butler]] checks you into the emergency room. There's a four-hour wait. You come down from your trip within a few minutes, but are informed that you cannot leave before seeing the doctor. You twiddle your thumb and hit on a [[Lashequanna Phillips|woman having a gall-bladder attack]] for what seems like an eternity before it's your turn.

"Hello," says [[Dr. Mauiwaui]], with whom you are familiar, as you are hustled into her office. She's a rather rotund, middle-aged Indian woman. "What that is troubling you today please?"

"Nothing. I ate some bad cake, but I'm over it. Can I go now?"

"Mmmm," the doctor replies. "I must checked your vitals." You speculate that she really wants to get you out of there, but has to do this to keep your insurance company happy.

Mauiwaui proceeds with the examination quickly, aware that patients with broken bones and concussions are waiting patiently outside her door. However, as she holds your balls and tells you to cough, a rather [[Buslai Fenton|unpatient patient]] smashes through the door. He smells no worse than the average resident of Hoboken, but you note that he smells bad in a different sort of manner, more like rotten meat. You see that his face is very pale and unhealthy-looking.

"I am be busy checked the patient vitals!" shouts the doctor. "You must leaved!"

At this, the intruder spins his head around three-sixty degress. Dr. Mauiwaui gasps, then faints, landing on and crushing you to Death.

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Endings]]

Hoboken Hal 2 2 2

2010-08-07T03:40:25Z

Nalanhata:

You eat some pot brownies, which give you a serious case of the munchies. You check the refridgerator again, but there's only one other thing to eat around here...

You eat the old cake, which is vanilla-flavored with some sort of fruity frosting. You realize all too late that the cake was moldy, and strange things begin to happen. First, things start turning purple. Then, crocodiles start coming out of the floor. Next, you get the inexplicable feeling that if you sit down, you're going to die.

Distraught, you step onto the porch into the streets of Hoboken. The scents of garbage and cologne fill your nostrils. You hop on your bicycle, which is made entirely of chewing gum, careful not to lower your ass onto the seat, and pedal about a half-mile down the amorphous, polka-dotted sidewalk to the hospital, where [[Geezer Butler]] checks you into the emergency room. There's a four-hour wait. You come down from your trip within a few minutes, but are informed that you cannot leave before seeing the doctor. You twiddle your thumb and hit on a [[Lashequanna Philips|woman having a gall-bladder attack]] for what seems like an eternity before it's your turn.

"Hello," says [[Dr. Mauiwaui]], with whom you are familiar, as you are hustled into her office. She's a rather rotund, middle-aged Indian woman. "What that is troubling you today please?"

"Nothing. I ate some bad cake, but I'm over it. Can I go now?"

"Mmmm," the doctor replies. "I must checked your vitals." You speculate that she really wants to get you out of there, but has to do this to keep your insurance company happy.

Mauiwaui proceeds with the examination quickly, aware that patients with broken bones and concussions are waiting patiently outside her door. However, as she holds your balls and tells you to cough, a rather [[Buslai Fenton|unpatient patient]] smashes through the door. He smells no worse than the average resident of Hoboken, but you note that he smells bad in a different sort of manner, more like rotten meat. You see that his face is very pale and unhealthy-looking.

"I am be busy checked the patient vitals!" shouts the doctor. "You must leaved!"

At this, the intruder spins his head around three-sixty degress. Dr. Mauiwaui gasps, then faints, landing on and crushing you to Death.

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Endings]]

Buslai Fenton

2010-08-05T23:48:59Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Buslai Fenton is a ghoul when you first encounter him. Full name: Buslai John Fenton Mother's maiden name: водка Age: 52 Hair color: Brown Eye color: Red Addres…'

Buslai Fenton is a ghoul when you first encounter him.

Full name: Buslai John Fenton

Mother's maiden name: водка

Age: 52

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Red

Address: 43 Inconspicuous Road, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: An ordinary American rocket engineer who arouses no suspicion whatsoever

Aliases: толстый уродливый старик грибов

Height: 6 feet, 1 inches

Weight: 279 pounds

Disposition: Innocent

Useful skills: Nothing at all to suggest that he's not who he says he is

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Lashequanna Phillips

2010-08-05T23:42:00Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Lashequanna Phillips is having a gall-bladder attack. Full name: Lashequanna Billy-Bob Phillips Mother's maiden name: Diamond Age: 29 Hair color: Black Eye color: Silv…'

Lashequanna Phillips is having a gall-bladder attack.

Full name: Lashequanna Billy-Bob Phillips

Mother's maiden name: Diamond

Age: 29

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Silver, because it's ghetto-fabulous

Address: 689 Weird Street, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Crack-whore

Aliases: Ballhandler, Dat Gal Who Killed Lafonda, Dat Gal Who Buys Crack Across the Street From Da State Police Barracks

Height: 5 feet, 7 inches

Weight: 92 pounds

Disposition: Unfriendly

Useful skills: Fellatio

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 2 2 1

2010-08-05T03:14:14Z

Nalanhata:

You eat the old cake, which is vanilla-flavored with some sort of fruity frosting. You realize all too late that the cake was moldy, and strange things begin to happen. First, things start turning purple. Then, crocodiles start coming out of the floor. Next, you get the inexplicable feeling that if you sit down, you're going to die.

Distraught, you step onto the porch into the streets of Hoboken. The scents of garbage and cologne fill your nostrils. You hop on your bicycle, which is made entirely of chewing gum, careful not to lower your ass onto the seat, and pedal about a half-mile down the amorphous, polka-dotted sidewalk to the hospital, where [[Geezer Butler]] checks you into the emergency room. There's a four-hour wait. You come down from your trip within a few minutes, but are informed that you cannot leave before seeing the doctor. You twiddle your thumb and hit on a [[Lashequanna Phillips|woman having a gall-bladder attack]] for what seems like an eternity before it's your turn.

"Hello," says [[Dr. Mauiwaui]], with whom you are familiar, as you are hustled into her office. She's a rather rotund, middle-aged Indian woman. "What that is troubling you today please?"

"Nothing. I ate some bad cake, but I'm over it. Can I go now?"

"Mmmm," the doctor replies. "I must checked your vitals." You speculate that she really wants to get you out of there, but has to do this to keep your insurance company happy.

Mauiwaui proceeds with the examination quickly, aware that patients with broken bones and concussions are waiting patiently outside her door. However, as she holds your balls and tells you to cough, a [[Buslai Fenton|rather unpatient patient]] smashes through the door. He smells no worse than the average resident of Hoboken, but you note that he smells bad in a different sort of manner, more like rotten meat. You see that his face is very pale and unhealthy-looking.

"I am be busy checked the patient vitals!" shouts the doctor. "You must leaved!"

At this, the intruder spins his head around three-sixty degress. Dr. Mauiwaui gasps, then faints, landing on and crushing you to Death.

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Endings]]

Hoboken Hal 2 2 1

2010-08-05T03:11:47Z

Nalanhata:

You eat the old cake, which is vanilla-flavored with some sort of fruity frosting. You realize all too late that the cake was moldy, and strange things begin to happen. First, things start turning purple. Then, crocodiles start coming out of the floor. Next, you get the inexplicable feeling that if you sit down, you're going to die.

Distraught, you step onto the porch into the streets of Hoboken. The scents of garbage and cologne fill your nostrils. You hop on your bicycle, which is made entirely of chewing gum, careful not to lower your ass onto the seat, and pedal about a half-mile down the amorphous, polka-dotted sidewalk to the hospital, where [[Geezer Butler]] checks you into the emergency room. There's a four-hour wait. You come down from your trip within a few minutes, but are informed that you cannot leave before seeing the doctor. You twiddle your thumb and hit on a [[woman having a gall-bladder attack]] for what seems like an eternity before it's your turn.

"Hello," says [[Dr. Mauiwaui]], with whom you are familiar, as you are hustled into her office. She's a rather rotund, middle-aged Indian woman. "What that is troubling you today please?"

"Nothing. I ate some bad cake, but I'm over it. Can I go now?"

"Mmmm," the doctor replies. "I must checked your vitals." You speculate that she really wants to get you out of there, but has to do this to keep your insurance company happy.

Mauiwaui proceeds with the examination quickly, aware that patients with broken bones and concussions are waiting patiently outside her door. However, as she holds your balls and tells you to cough, a [[rather unpatient patient]] smashes through the door. He smells no worse than the average resident of Hoboken, but you note that he smells bad in a different sort of manner, more like rotten meat. You see that his face is very pale and unhealthy-looking.

"I am be busy checked the patient vitals!" shouts the doctor. "You must leaved!"

At this, the intruder spins his head around three-sixty degress. Dr. Mauiwaui gasps, then faints, landing on and crushing you to Death.

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Endings]]

Marsha

2010-08-05T03:09:33Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Marsha is, apparently, female. She knows Thumper Wilsson... or perhaps he just knows her. Full name: Marsha Slimjim White Mother's maiden name: Victimbergher Age: 21 Hai…'

Marsha is, apparently, female. She knows Thumper Wilsson... or perhaps he just knows her.

Full name: Marsha Slimjim White

Mother's maiden name: Victimbergher

Age: 21

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Blue

Address: 573 Clinton Street, Joliet, Illinois

Occupation: Student

Aliases: None

Height: 5 feet, 5 inches

Weight: 114 pounds

Disposition: Square

Useful skills: Ceramic craftsmanship

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Thumper Wilsson

2010-08-05T02:57:44Z

Nalanhata: Created page with '"Thumper" Wilsson is a scratchy-voiced man whom Hal Ford briefly encounters when calling the wrong number. Full name: Thomas Elray Wilsson Mother's maiden name: Weinermaier …'

"Thumper" Wilsson is a scratchy-voiced man whom Hal Ford briefly encounters when calling the wrong number.

Full name: Thomas Elray Wilsson

Mother's maiden name: Weinermaier

Age: 37

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Blue

Address: The woods outside of Sturgis, South Dakota

Occupation: Mechanic, Slasher

Aliases: "Thumper" Wilsson

Height: 6 feet

Weight: 259 pounds

Disposition: Charismatic

Useful skills: Mechanics

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 2

2010-08-05T02:50:38Z

Nalanhata:

You punch in 456-9001, and the phone rings.

"I'M RIGHT BEHIND YOU," whispers a [[Thumper Wilsson|scratchy-voiced man]].

"What?"

"Wait! You aren't [[Marsha]]! Get out of here!" he hangs up on you. It looks like you're not going to recall Dan's number.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3|Step out onto the porch]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 2|Find something to eat]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Hal 2 1

2010-08-05T02:49:11Z

Nalanhata:

You walk to the machine on the counter near your tinfoil-wrapped tray of pot brownies and delete the message. While you are there, you notice a second message on the machine and play it.

"Uh hey, whaddup, this is Dan, callin' for Hal. Gimme a call at 455-9001."

[[Dan Ghoulo]]. A tall, lanky stoner, he was a good friend of yours throughout high school, but it's been more than a year since you've spoken to him.

The last time you saw Dan was at the Dimmu Borgir concert the summer after your graduation. You were on a double-date there and caught your girlfriend of six months, Christine, in his arms. When you started swinging at him, he pulled a knife on you, and security ended up taking him away. You've not heard of him since.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1|Call Dan]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 2|Find something to eat]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3|Step out onto the porch]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Hal 1 2

2010-08-05T02:47:36Z

Nalanhata:

You hang up on the survey. As you begin to step away, you notice another message on the machine and play it.

"Uh hey, whaddup, this is Dan, callin' for Hal. Gimme a call at 455-9001."

[[Dan Ghoulo]]. A tall, lanky stoner, he was a good friend of yours throughout high school, but it's been more than a year since you've spoken to him.

The last time you saw Dan was at the Dimmu Borgir concert the summer after your graduation. You were on a double-date there and caught your girlfriend of six months, Christine, in his arms. When you started swinging at him, he pulled a knife on you, and security ended up taking him away. You've not heard of him since.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1|Call Dan]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 2|Find something to eat]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3|Step out onto the porch]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Insufferable Bob

2010-08-05T00:03:57Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Insufferable Bob is the proprietor of Insufferable Bob's Discount Firearms. Full name: Robert Jean-Luc Tampierre Mother's maiden name: Stevens Age: 49 Hair color: Bro…'

Insufferable Bob is the proprietor of Insufferable Bob's Discount Firearms.

Full name: Robert Jean-Luc Tampierre

Mother's maiden name: Stevens

Age: 49

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Green

Address: 91 Munchy Boulevard, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Firearm peddlar

Aliases: Insufferable Bob, Little Shitcake Bob

Height: 5 feet, 7 inches

Weight: 225 pounds

Disposition: Overly-friendly

Useful skills: Discount firearm distribution

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3 3 1

2010-08-04T23:59:02Z

Nalanhata:

Knowing that there's a gun store just a few blocks over, you begin to head that way. The hot pavement stings your feet, and you cut yourself a bit on a mini-booze-bottle, but you have no shoes to rectify this unfortunate situation. Momentarily, you arrive at Insufferable Bob's Discount Firearms Emporium.

This place is huge. It's got just about everything you could imagine in the way of guns. There's handguns, revolvers, bows, hunting rifles, shotguns, semiautomatic and fully automatic rifles, grenades, tear gas, machineguns, rocket launchers, lazer cannons, tanks, derringers, suitcase nukes, Insanoflexes, Death Stars, toasters, baby clothes, you name it! The new Oldsmobiles are even in early this year!

You are approached by a [[Insufferable Bob|jovial, rotund man]]. "Welcome!!! How can I serve you today?!?!!?"

"What can I get for $21?" you inquire.

He leads you to the bargain bin. Here's what you can afford:
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3 3 1 1|A plastic blunderbuss; you'll have enough left over for two six-packs of silverware]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3 3 1 2|A good cast-iron rod]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3 3 1 3|A big hammer]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3 3 1 4|An M60]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Dr. Mauiwaui

2010-08-04T23:57:22Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Dr. Mauiwaui is the only licensed medical proffesional in all of Hoboken who didn't get her degree off the internet. Full name: Aayaladita Akbar Mauiwaui Mother's maiden name…'

Dr. Mauiwaui is the only licensed medical proffesional in all of Hoboken who didn't get her degree off the internet.

Full name: Aayaladita Akbar Mauiwaui

Mother's maiden name: Agra

Age: 56

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Address: 192 Barbeque Lane, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Doctor

Aliases: Doc

Height: 5 feet, 3 inches

Weight: 307 pounds

Disposition: Jovial

Useful skills: Medical diagnoses, surgery, prescription

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3

2010-08-04T23:48:45Z

Nalanhata:

You punch in 455-9001, and the phone rings.

"Hey?" answers Dan Ghoulo.

"This is Hal, man. What the fuck are you calling me for?"

"Maan, you're in deep shit! Zombies are coming to eat your braiiins!!"

"Get your head on fucking straight before you call me again, alright man?"

"No, I'm serious! Listen, I was down at [[Dr. Mauiwaui]]'s lab the other day, you know, to see if she could get me a bigger dick and shit, and, like, this zombie stole my sandwich out of the fridge! I'm not kidding! I amcertaded out of town, like right off... and I think you should too. Nothing good can come of this, man."

"Dan, man, you're tripping bawlz," you say before hanging up on him.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3|Step out onto the porch]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 2|Find something to eat]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 3 3|Go buy a shotgun and start preparing for the zombie apocalypse]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Stephanie Beynon

2010-08-04T23:44:25Z

Nalanhata:

This woman has a distinct Minnesotan accent.

Full name: Stephanie Mary Beynon

Mother's maiden name: Smith

Age: 52

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Green

Address: 167 3rd Street, St. Cloud, Minnesota

Occupation: Housewife

Aliases: The Terror of Seburger Park

Height: 5 feet, 3 inches

Weight: 128 pounds

Disposition: Friendly

Useful skills: Baking pastries

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Stephanie Beynon

2010-08-04T23:42:22Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'This woman has a distinct Minnesotan accent. Full name: Stephanie Mary Beynon Mother's maiden name: Smith Age: 52 Hair color: Blonde Eye color: Green Address: 167 3…'

This woman has a distinct Minnesotan accent.

Full name: Stephanie Mary Beynon

Mother's maiden name: Smith

Age: 52

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Green

Address: 167 3rd Street, St. Cloud, Minnesota

Occupation: Housewife

Aliases: The Terror of Seburger Park

Height: 5 feet, 3 inches

Weight: 128 pounds

Disposition: Friendly

Useful skills: Espionage, extortion, interrogation, assassination, hustling people into dark cars and/or vans with tinted windows

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 1 2 1 4

2010-08-04T23:29:21Z

Nalanhata:

You punch in 955-5004, and the phone rings.

"Hello?" answers [[Stephanie Beynon|a woman with a distinct Minnesotan accent]].

"Sorry, wrong number." It looks like you're not going to remember Dan's number.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3|Step out onto the porch]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 2|Find something to eat]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Dan Ghoulo

2010-08-04T23:27:33Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Dan Ghoulo is Hal Ford's former friend and fellow stoner. The two were estranged following a dispute at a Dimmu Borgir concert. Full name: Daniel Denial Ghoulo Mother's maid…'

Dan Ghoulo is Hal Ford's former friend and fellow stoner. The two were estranged following a dispute at a Dimmu Borgir concert.

Full name: Daniel Denial Ghoulo

Mother's maiden name: Silf

Age: 20

Hair color: Brown

Eye color: Brown

Address: 192 Gangbanger Terrace, Apt. 56, Trenton, New Jersey

Occupation: Fast food monkey

Aliases: Ghoulo the Fool-O

Height: 6 feet, 2 inches

Weight: 131 pounds

Disposition: Disagreeable

Useful skills: Stenography

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Billy Ray Sassoparocini

2010-08-04T23:21:45Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'The one nearest you is a black-clad secret policeman of some sort, part of a squad sent to prevent Hal Ford from leaving Hoboken. Full name: Billy Ray Sassoparocini Mother's…'

The one nearest you is a black-clad secret policeman of some sort, part of a squad sent to prevent Hal Ford from leaving Hoboken.

Full name: Billy Ray Sassoparocini

Mother's maiden name: Caecilius

Age: 45

Hair color: Black

Eye color: Brown

Address: 47 Munchy Boulevard, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Secret policeman

Aliases: #245357

Height: 5 feet, 8 inches

Weight: 146 pounds

Disposition: Authoritative

Useful skills: Espionage, extortion, interrogation, assassination, hustling people into dark cars and/or vans with tinted windows

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 1 1

2010-08-04T23:19:34Z

Nalanhata:

You press one. Next thing you know, a black car with tinted windows crashes through your front door, and men in suits and sunglasses step out.

"No one leaves," asserts the [[Billy Ray Sassoparocini|one nearest you]]. While this is happening, the survey asks:

"What is your name?"

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 1 1|Tell your name to the person on the phone]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 1 2|Hang up]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Hal 1 1 2

2010-08-04T23:18:51Z

Nalanhata:

You hang up on the survey. The men immediately hop back into the car and speed off, leaving a gaping hole in the front of your mother's house. As you begin to step away, you notice another message on the machine and play it.

"Uh hey, whaddup, this is Dan, callin' for Hal. Gimme a call at 455-9001."

[[Dan Ghoulo]]. A tall, lanky stoner, he was a good friend of yours throughout high school, but it's been more than a year since you've spoken to him.

The last time you saw Dan was at the Dimmu Borgir concert the summer after your graduation. You were on a double-date there and caught your girlfriend of six months, Christine, in his arms. When you started swinging at him, he pulled a knife on you, and security ended up taking him away. You've not heard of him since.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 2 1|Call Dan]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 2|Find something to eat]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2 3|Step out onto the porch]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Hoboken Hal 1 1

2010-08-04T23:11:02Z

Nalanhata:

You press one. Next thing you know, a black car with tinted windows crashes through your front door, and men in suits and sunglasses step out.

"No one leaves," asserts the [[one nearest you]]. While this is happening, the survey asks:

"What is your name?"

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 1 1|Tell your name to the person on the phone]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 1 1 2|Hang up]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]

Randy Rhoads

2010-08-04T23:09:46Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Randy Rhoads is an influential guitar player. Though he died in a freak place crash years ago, his spirit continues to rock hard in pot-induced surreal dreams to this day. Full…'

Randy Rhoads is an influential guitar player. Though he died in a freak place crash years ago, his spirit continues to rock hard in pot-induced surreal dreams to this day.

Full name: Randall William Rhoads

Mother's maiden name: Costan?

Age: 63

Hair color: Blonde

Eye color: Squinty

Address: Mountain View Cemetery, San Bernardino, California

Occupation: Axeman

Height: Amorphous

Weight: None

Disposition: Badass

Useful skills: Shredding

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Hal 3

2010-08-04T22:53:41Z

Nalanhata:

You stumble back onto your dark blue futon, accidentally kicking your cardboard box on the way, and pull the scratchy cover over yourself. Soon, you are fast asleep.

You dream wonderful dreams of sugarplums and scantily clad women, whom you impress with your mad guitar skillz. Before long, [[Randy Rhoads]] himself appears to you, but his message is not an invitation to go get high.

"Hey, man, you'd better watch out. It doesn't smell very good in here."

"Oh, that's nothing," you reply, "just cat piss."

"Hey, alright. Wanna go get high?"

You have great fun snorting cocaine with Randy Rhoads in your dream, but because you refused to awaken, you never realize that you had kicked open your jug of formaldehyde and the fumes are spreading throughout your mother's basement. You never wake up.

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Endings]]

Mr. Hash

2010-08-04T22:24:17Z

Nalanhata: Created page with 'Mr. Hash is a domestic shorthair cat belonging to Hal Ford. Full name: Mr. Hash Ford Mother's maiden name: Brutananadilewski Age: 3 Hair color: Orange and white Eye…'

Mr. Hash is a domestic shorthair cat belonging to [[Hal Ford]].

Full name: Mr. Hash Ford

Mother's maiden name: Brutananadilewski

Age: 3

Hair color: Orange and white

Eye color: Neon black

Address: 123 Questionable Avenue, Hoboken, New Jersey

Occupation: Ratcatcher

Aliases: Friggin' cat, damn-ass cat

Height: 9 inches

Weight: 12 pounds

Disposition: Feline

Useful skills: Ratcatching, sense of hearing, sense of balance, ability to act cool immediately after having made a fool of himself

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]][[Category: Residents of Hoboken]]

Hoboken Start 1

2010-08-04T22:12:27Z

Nalanhata:

"Hey-eh, beep freakin' beep, you pansy-ass piece of shit, I been waitin' here for two hours!" says your alarm clock. You groggily open your eyes to find your cat, [[Mr. Hash]], staring you in the face. Shoving him away and sitting up, you see that it's already eleven A.M. Who gives a damn? You don't have anywhere to be.

You're [[Hal Ford]], age nineteen, unemployed and living in the basement of your mother's small house in the slums. Your room smells like cat piss and weed. Apart from your futon, you've got a couple gigantic Lansings hooked up to a turntable you found on the side of the road, and a cardboard box containing a couple bags of shrooms and a jug of formaldehyde. Your only other possessions are the clothes on your back, a laptop from 2001, propped up against the wall in a corner, and $21, all in ones, in your pocket. You used to have plenty of CDs, but you pawned them to buy vinyl and got robbed on the way home.

You stand on your futon to check your reflection in the window. Your scraggly, long hair has left grease-stains on your Dio t-shirt, and one of the legs of your blue jeans is missing from the knee down, thanks to a stray dog. As you begin to inspect your teeth, you hear the phone ringing upstairs.

What the Hell now?
*[[Hoboken Hal 1|Go answer the phone]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 2|Slowly make your way upstairs]]
*[[Hoboken Hal 3|Go back to sleep]]

[[Category: Hoboken Has Gone to Hell]]