http://72.14.177.54/CREATE_YOUR_OWN_STORY/?action=history&feed=atom&title=User_talk%3AKarasilUser talk:Karasil - Revision history2026-09-30T17:46:08ZRevision history for this page on the wikiMediaWiki 1.15.1http://72.14.177.54/CREATE_YOUR_OWN_STORY/?title=User_talk:Karasil&diff=315914&oldid=prevDirtyMeStoryTime: Just breath!2017-08-11T04:32:17Z<p>Just breath!</p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>I moved A girl's life to G under the index, not A. You don't use A, An, The to alphabetize your stories. You use the first non-filler word. Please find it under G in the adult index now. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 01:50, 11 August 2017 (UTC)</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>I moved A girl's life to G under the index, not A. You don't use A, An, The to alphabetize your stories. You use the first non-filler word. Please find it under G in the adult index now. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 01:50, 11 August 2017 (UTC)</div></td></tr>
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<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="background: #cfc; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div><ins style="color: red; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">P.S. You should study how to avoid run on sentences. I find it easier to just write like I would speak. When you would take a pause, then use a comma. When you would take a longer pause, then end the sentence. Using and to join together sentences is not a good way to write. You can check here for advice on how to correct: writing.umn.edu/sws/assets/pdf/quicktips/run-ons.pdf</ins></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="background: #cfc; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div><ins style="color: red; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">I will fix your first page of A girl's life so you can see what should be done, but for proper writing, please remember to make sure you avoid things like that.</ins></div></td></tr>
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<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="background: #cfc; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div><ins style="color: red; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">I mean, would you say, "I went to the market and I bought food and I put the food in a bag and I took the bag and loaded it in my car and I drove home and I went into my house and brought the bag with me and I unpacked the bag and put it in the cupboard and refrigerator and then went to watch TV." or would you say "I went to the market and bought food. I put the food in the bag, then brought it to the car, loading it up. I drove home, walking into my house, bringing the food bag with me. Once I had unpacked it, putting everything in the cupboard or refrigerator, I went to watch TV." One just seems like someone talking who won't shut up, keeps talking, and doesn't stop for breath until they need to. The other is more of how someone would speak, just telling the details in a way that flows better. Simply replacing and for a period sometimes does wonders for the reader, rather than making them feel like they are about to pass out because the sentence goes on and on without them being able to stop and take a breath... --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 04:32, 11 August 2017 (UTC)</ins></div></td></tr>
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</table>DirtyMeStoryTimehttp://72.14.177.54/CREATE_YOUR_OWN_STORY/?title=User_talk:Karasil&diff=315911&oldid=prevDirtyMeStoryTime: >.>2017-08-11T01:50:39Z<p>>.></p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>{{warn2}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 00:16, 11 August 2017 (UTC)</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>{{warn2}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 00:16, 11 August 2017 (UTC)</div></td></tr>
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<tr><td colspan="2"> </td><td class='diff-marker'>+</td><td style="background: #cfc; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div><ins style="color: red; font-weight: bold; text-decoration: none;">I moved A girl's life to G under the index, not A. You don't use A, An, The to alphabetize your stories. You use the first non-filler word. Please find it under G in the adult index now. --[[User:DirtyMeStoryTime|Dirty Me]] 01:50, 11 August 2017 (UTC)</ins></div></td></tr>
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</table>DirtyMeStoryTimehttp://72.14.177.54/CREATE_YOUR_OWN_STORY/?title=User_talk:Karasil&diff=315905&oldid=prevPlatypus at 00:16, 11 August 20172017-08-11T00:16:27Z<p></p>
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<tr><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>{{warn1}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 17:05, 10 August 2017 (UTC)</div></td><td class='diff-marker'> </td><td style="background: #eee; color:black; font-size: smaller;"><div>{{warn1}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 17:05, 10 August 2017 (UTC)</div></td></tr>
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</table>Platypushttp://72.14.177.54/CREATE_YOUR_OWN_STORY/?title=User_talk:Karasil&diff=315877&oldid=prevPlatypus: Created page with '{{warn1}}--~~~~'2017-08-10T17:05:15Z<p>Created page with '{{warn1}}--~~~~'</p>
<p><b>New page</b></p><div>{{warn1}}--[[User:Platypus|Platypus]] 17:05, 10 August 2017 (UTC)</div>Platypus