THE OPENING CUTSCENE! - Revision history

Platypus: Reverted edit of Lol332211, changed back to last version by JoeBloggs

2011-10-18T12:08:52Z

Reverted edit of Lol332211, changed back to last version by JoeBloggs

←Older revision		Revision as of 12:08, 18 October 2011
Line 5:		Line 5:
	INT: SPACE		INT: SPACE

-	''All is quiet in the INFINITE VOID OF ~~SEAR'S COCKS~~ today- Until suddenly, the SS NORMANDY blasts into view, doing that cool light-speed distortion thing! Inside the cockpit:''	+	''All is quiet in the INFINITE VOID OF SPACE today- Until suddenly, the SS NORMANDY blasts into view, doing that cool light-speed distortion thing! Inside the cockpit:''

	XO PRESSLY: This is a big waste of time! I've got five minutes left on-screen, and I spend it complaining about hunting geth patrols?		XO PRESSLY: This is a big waste of time! I've got five minutes left on-screen, and I spend it complaining about hunting geth patrols?
Line 23:		Line 23:
	ASHLEY: Shepard!		ASHLEY: Shepard!

-	YOU: Distress beacon is ready for launch~~. Prepare for anal penetration~~.	+	YOU: Distress beacon is ready for launch.

	ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?		ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?

Lol332211 at 09:46, 18 October 2011

2011-10-18T09:46:23Z

←Older revision		Revision as of 09:46, 18 October 2011
Line 5:		Line 5:
	INT: SPACE		INT: SPACE

-	''All is quiet in the INFINITE VOID OF ~~SPACE~~ today- Until suddenly, the SS NORMANDY blasts into view, doing that cool light-speed distortion thing! Inside the cockpit:''	+	''All is quiet in the INFINITE VOID OF SEAR'S COCKS today- Until suddenly, the SS NORMANDY blasts into view, doing that cool light-speed distortion thing! Inside the cockpit:''

	XO PRESSLY: This is a big waste of time! I've got five minutes left on-screen, and I spend it complaining about hunting geth patrols?		XO PRESSLY: This is a big waste of time! I've got five minutes left on-screen, and I spend it complaining about hunting geth patrols?
Line 23:		Line 23:
	ASHLEY: Shepard!		ASHLEY: Shepard!

-	YOU: Distress beacon is ready for launch.	+	YOU: Distress beacon is ready for launch. Prepare for anal penetration.

	ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?		ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?

JoeBloggs at 07:34, 1 March 2010

2010-03-01T07:34:25Z

←Older revision		Revision as of 07:34, 1 March 2010
Line 11:		Line 11:
	NAMELESS TECH-MONKEY: You've got it better than me. All I get to do is mention that there's an unknown vessel coming up behind us. Speaking of which, there's an unknown vessel coming up behind us!		NAMELESS TECH-MONKEY: You've got it better than me. All I get to do is mention that there's an unknown vessel coming up behind us. Speaking of which, there's an unknown vessel coming up behind us!

-	JOKER (Secure in knowing he's voiced by SETH GREEN, and thus ~~CANNOT BE KILLED OFF~~): It doesn't match any known signatures...	+	JOKER (Secure in knowing he's voiced by SETH GREEN, and thus cannot be killed off): It doesn't match any known signatures...

	NAMELESS: It's converging on our position!		NAMELESS: It's converging on our position!
Line 27:		Line 27:
	ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?		ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?

-	''The ~~Cutscene~~ smoothly seagues into GAMEPLAY as you are given the first dialogue option in the game! Sadly, it essentially amounts to saying ~~they~~'ll get here, or saying ~~they~~'ll get here while being KIND OF A JERK.''	+	''The CUTSCENE smoothly seagues into GAMEPLAY as you are given the first dialogue option in the game! Sadly, it essentially amounts to saying "They'll get here", or saying "They'll get here" while being KIND OF A JERK.''

JoeBloggs at 02:02, 1 March 2010

2010-03-01T02:02:00Z

←Older revision		Revision as of 02:02, 1 March 2010
Line 27:		Line 27:
	ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?		ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?

-	''The Cutscene smoothly seagues into GAMEPLAY as you are given the first dialogue option in the game! Sadly, it essentially amounts to saying they'll get here, or saying they'll get here while being ~~a MASSIVE~~ JERK.''	+	''The Cutscene smoothly seagues into GAMEPLAY as you are given the first dialogue option in the game! Sadly, it essentially amounts to saying they'll get here, or saying they'll get here while being KIND OF A JERK.''

JoeBloggs at 02:01, 1 March 2010

2010-03-01T02:01:38Z

←Older revision		Revision as of 02:01, 1 March 2010
Line 19:		Line 19:
	JOKER (Smugly getting all the best lines): It's not the geth. BRACE FOR EVASIVE MANOEUVERS!		JOKER (Smugly getting all the best lines): It's not the geth. BRACE FOR EVASIVE MANOEUVERS!

-	''SUDDENLY, LASERS EVERYWHERE! A MYSTERIOUS SHIP begins inflicting a WORLD OF HURT upon the helpless NORMANDY! A green LASER splits the HULL in two, an explosion killing the hapless XO PRESSLY and his NAMELESS ASSISTANT instantly! Fires break out everywhere as ASHLEY WILLIAMS charges through the dying REDSHIRTS. She finally finds YOU, THE PLAYER CHARACTER putting on your HELMET before anyone can get a glimpse of ~~his face~~. You coy thing, you.''	+	''SUDDENLY, LASERS EVERYWHERE! A MYSTERIOUS SHIP begins inflicting a WORLD OF HURT upon the helpless NORMANDY! A green LASER splits the HULL in two, an explosion killing the hapless XO PRESSLY and his NAMELESS ASSISTANT instantly! Fires break out everywhere as ASHLEY WILLIAMS charges through the dying REDSHIRTS. She finally finds YOU, THE PLAYER CHARACTER, putting on your HELMET before anyone can get a glimpse of your FACE. You coy thing, you.''

	ASHLEY: Shepard!		ASHLEY: Shepard!

JoeBloggs at 01:59, 1 March 2010

2010-03-01T01:59:28Z

←Older revision		Revision as of 01:59, 1 March 2010
Line 1:		Line 1:
-	''The words EA PRESENTS... A BIOWARE PRODUCTION...	+	''The words EA PRESENTS... A BIOWARE PRODUCTION... flitter across the screen. The AUDIENCE doesn't get to learn exactly what bioware is presenting until the end of the cutscene, though. What a tease!''
-		+
-	flitter across the screen. The AUDIENCE doesn't get to learn exactly what bioware is presenting until the end of the cutscene, though. What a tease!	+
-		+
-	~~Some EXPOSITIONARY TEXT flickers across the screen so fast that it can only be read by those who already know what it says. If you really want to read it, I suggest you play THE GAME.~~''	+

	SCENE 1		SCENE 1

JoeBloggs: Created page with '''The words EA PRESENTS... A BIOWARE PRODUCTION... flitter across the screen. The AUDIENCE doesn't get to learn exactly what bioware is presenting until the end of the cutscene,…'

2010-03-01T01:58:50Z

Created page with '''The words EA PRESENTS... A BIOWARE PRODUCTION... flitter across the screen. The AUDIENCE doesn't get to learn exactly what bioware is presenting until the end of the cutscene,…'

New page

''The words EA PRESENTS... A BIOWARE PRODUCTION...

flitter across the screen. The AUDIENCE doesn't get to learn exactly what bioware is presenting until the end of the cutscene, though. What a tease!

Some EXPOSITIONARY TEXT flickers across the screen so fast that it can only be read by those who already know what it says. If you really want to read it, I suggest you play THE GAME.''

SCENE 1

INT: SPACE

''All is quiet in the INFINITE VOID OF SPACE today- Until suddenly, the SS NORMANDY blasts into view, doing that cool light-speed distortion thing! Inside the cockpit:''

XO PRESSLY: This is a big waste of time! I've got five minutes left on-screen, and I spend it complaining about hunting geth patrols?

NAMELESS TECH-MONKEY: You've got it better than me. All I get to do is mention that there's an unknown vessel coming up behind us. Speaking of which, there's an unknown vessel coming up behind us!

JOKER (Secure in knowing he's voiced by SETH GREEN, and thus CANNOT BE KILLED OFF): It doesn't match any known signatures...

NAMELESS: It's converging on our position!

XO PRESSLY: Can't be- we're still in stealth mode, the geth can't dectect us!

JOKER (Smugly getting all the best lines): It's not the geth. BRACE FOR EVASIVE MANOEUVERS!

''SUDDENLY, LASERS EVERYWHERE! A MYSTERIOUS SHIP begins inflicting a WORLD OF HURT upon the helpless NORMANDY! A green LASER splits the HULL in two, an explosion killing the hapless XO PRESSLY and his NAMELESS ASSISTANT instantly! Fires break out everywhere as ASHLEY WILLIAMS charges through the dying REDSHIRTS. She finally finds YOU, THE PLAYER CHARACTER putting on your HELMET before anyone can get a glimpse of his face. You coy thing, you.''

ASHLEY: Shepard!

YOU: Distress beacon is ready for launch.

ASHLEY: Will the alliance get here in time?

''The Cutscene smoothly seagues into GAMEPLAY as you are given the first dialogue option in the game! Sadly, it essentially amounts to saying they'll get here, or saying they'll get here while being a MASSIVE JERK.''

You say:
*[[They'll get here.]]
*[[They damn well better get here! Bitch!]]

[[Category: Mess Effect 2]]